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Gaslighting Abuse

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Tosezuz

I am suffering the effects of gaslighting abuse. It has destroyed me medically and mentally.
 
Amen! Yes its horrible to have something so off that you can be convinced your crazy, or hallucinating. I was put in a chemical straight jacket instead of given counseling, and told I was crazy over, and over again. I would get horrible flashbacks, and wonder if I was crazy or not. I split into two worlds one with the bad people who get off on hurting you, and one with the normal people we all agree are "real." I couldn't grow past a certain maturity point, and lost 20 years because of it. This past year I was flooded with memories, and confronted my parents who admitted I was not crazy they just couldn't handle my childhood. Long story. Anyway..... It hurts, but there is nothing I can do. Im getting help, but for now I just have to live with it. It can be very tormenting at times. Narcissistic abuse is horrible. Gaslighting usually goes hand and hand with a narcissist sociopath. Sadistic glee comes to mind with that type of abuse.
Im sorry, and am sending you a big hug. It hurts to be tortured when the truth would have saved you. I understand, and Im sorry again. I know the pain can be excruciating when you realize ypur bot crazy.
 
I hear you! I know the horror of continual gaslighting. I grew up with it. Still have the constant fear that I'm "mad"...
I had to finally stop doing this because thinking I was crazy allowed others to abuse me. Duck it if Im crazy. I dont want to be hurt anymore.
 
I had to finally stop doing this because thinking I was crazy allowed others to abuse me. e.

Aha! Yes, and me too (efip) . those feelings made me a slave to whatever reality others wanted me to believe for a very long time. I have broken that chain too. It was incredibly hard to do as it was forged in childhood.
And I still cannot spend much time around my mother as ahe has t really changed. Ugh
I can tell now when I'm around a manipulator. My head feels "full" - that's the only way I can describe it. I
A lifetime of manipulation has made me almost allergic to it!
 
I wish I could do that. This reasonable rational side of me always has to weigh things up before coming to a conclusion and with certain types of manipulation thats hard to do and come to a clear answer. Its insidious stuff.
 
made me a slave to whatever reality others wanted me to believe
This is the hard part and the most destructive long term effect ... we DO become easy to victimize by people who "want us to believe" things their way ... but when we meet "normal" people who have zero agenda and aren't trying to make anyone believe anything at all, we still subvert ourselves to who they are and what they want because that's what we think relationships are. We miss out on these "normal" relationships with people who just want to get to know us (and most everyone else they meet) for who we are and what we care about, but we don't even know anymore
 
Thank you all for responding. My abuse got so bad it almost killed me it made my body very sick caused me to have heart attack and strokes. I am blessed to have removed myself from my abusers and am in a safe community that is helping me heal. They tell me its baby steps and sometimes i feel all i can do is crawl. The most important thing for me is to be safe. Then i can slowly begin to recover. God and the angels want me here because i have flatlined massive heart attack then brought back. Everything that has happened to me has brought me closer to god and jesus because my doctors dont even know how i am still alive. When things get terribly bad i pray to god and my angels. Also jesus to help me it is the only thing that truely comforts me. I will pray for all of us.
 
Faith can mean a lot to sufferers of abuse. I am glad yours brings you such strength in your times of trial. Gaslighting can be particularly insidious, causing you to doubt everything around you, all you see, hear and feel. It's good to see that you're fighting it as best you can.
 
Thirty years ago, my sister told me that if I had contact with a family member, she would basically destroy my life. She has lied to her children for many years and to other siblings. She is very mean spirited. In a recent conversation, she says she encouraged me to have a relationship with this particular family member. She was all warm and fuzzy about it. It was the exact opposite....she does this a lot...and appears sane. This is far from the first time this has happened. It has been life long crazy making. I know the truth so I don't argue with her....I would rather have my ptsd and know she is undiagnosed because she would never seek help.
 
Ipof - it's amazing how your sister still thinks she can manipulate reality just by her say so. That's because she's been on the "say so" end of it all.
Your post here made me realise the pluses of being a victim of gaslighting . I think once you've been gaslighted enough, it makes you a very honest person. And so, you can trust yourself as you know you examine all angles before you come to the conclusion that another is lying. And you know that you dont lie.
That sounds insane! I realise that. But that's what helped me recover. I know I don't knowingly lie about the truth - of course there's always the fear that I'm crazy, but I think I know I'm not now!
So when another lies, as your sister continues to, my head gets that "full" feeling and I know I have to, and can, trust myself.
I also have come to realise that the one who's lying is the sick one. And to be careful!!!
 
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