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My goal today is to push myself to meet with my therapist today. I don't know why it feels so difficult to do. I'm thinking because I know she altered her schedule to accommodate me and my illness. I'm trying hard not to feel apprehensive and wanting to back out.
I am decluttering and getting rid of stuff out of my Study/Studio area. I have a lot of resistance to doing this as I will have a range of issues to deal with when I am done. I will have to deal with having a life. I will have to let good stuff into my life.
I will have to deal with having a home and all that entails. That is really challenging for me.
Goal: attend networking meeting
Result: Succeeded, was able to chat with many successful women and even stood up to give a brief introduction of myself (sans PTSD info). :)
Currently dealing with anxiety symptoms but working to de-escalate.
I really moved through a level of helplessness yesterday.
I did 3 Dips in the Ocean yesterday so that was great!
Along with the exercise, I also managed to do cleaning, cooking, (and small amounts of ) study, drawing and writing. So I have been thinking about applying that new routine a lot lately and I managed to do it.
So that is a step through a level of helplessness.
Now to work on having the discipline to apply this new routine until it becomes habit is the next step.
I am working on doing the discipline and routines daily.
Today I am feeling disciplined and excited about this discipline.
I am happy that my developing discipline and daily routines are paying off.
It is taking a lot of concentration and focus but I look forward to them becoming habits!
Yesterday I got all my short study sessions done.
I also walked for two hours and did 2 Dips in the Ocean. I saw three friends in 24 hours. Two I saw yesterday and one I saw on Friday night.
One I met at a coffee shop. I had an exhibition with her last year. She is pretty negative so I redirected a lot. The other one I went to her place for lunch, she came whilst I did my boogie boarding in the ocean and then we went to a coffee shop. I am so happy that I saw two friends yesterday and one on Friday night and managed that well. I actually had a nice time with the second one yesterday. I saw a friend on Friday night as well and I had a nice time there as well. So there are new opportunities forming in my life.
I feel pleased I am moving again with direction and purpose.
I decluttered and tidied a little yesterday. Just a bit each day makes a difference over time.
I put out my hand washing last night and that was a relief when I woke up this morning and found it was raining. As I am decluttering and throwing out stuff I can see more stuff that can go. I can see that I can throw, give away or give to a charity shop more stuff. I am happy to have this insight.
So I am happy with my small and steady progresses. It feels such a relief to be standing more on my own two feet and making decisions.