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God were is all this anger supposed to go

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Anger is a form of energy, just like thought and speech. But anger is from the Emotional Mind, and speech requires the Wise Mind. Thought is merely the negotiator who translates between the two Minds.

Wisdom takes experience, and it's not always the same thing as the Wise Mind. Emotions and the Emotional Mind are essentially like wet water.

A great way to channel the flow of emotions is to find effective physical outlets that can engage the Wise Mind. Punching bags are great, in fact any form of cardiovascular exercise that safely increases heart and breath rate is helpful in venting out that excess energy.

Meditation may not be helpful right now, or ever, and that's okay. There are other effective forms of practicing mindfulness; gardening and cooking are my go-to choices, but always go with what ends up working best for you.

There's also a huge health benefit in "earthing." It may sound really complicated... but it's just walking around barefoot, especially outdoors (even if it's your patio or yard.)

"Bruce Lee: The 'Lost Interview'"

Be water, my friend.
 
Get a punching bag and beat the shit out of it.

That can be such a good release. Letting everything out while getting exercise and not hurting anyone. I have been thinking of going somewhere to do this myself as I ditched my heavy bags a long time ago.

If you do please be sure to have someone wrap your wrists or learn how, no joke especially if you want to put power behind the punch.
 
My therapist suggested going to a yard sale, buying some cheap dishes and smashing them somewhere, (thing is ya got to clean up the mess afterwards). I never tried it because I found that venting my anger just led me to be more angry.

After a good amount of healing had taken place, I decided that my abusers were sick pieces of poo :poop: and I began to let go of my rage...rage that was appropriately aimed towards them.

Years went by and the rage died down to simple anger and then, I let most of that go. Now if I am angry I slow down, calm down, and then talk about it (if I think I can reach a satisfactory resolution). Otherwise, I feel that anger harbored just hurts me the most, rather than the people or person I am angry with.

Having said that, a walk outside is a good way to cool your jets and I suggest doing something physical (hopefully healthy as well) to dissipate the anger.
 
they can only have a tempory relief as all the anger is kind of frozen in my system
There’s going to be a lot of anger in your system for sure. But if you’re finding temporary relief from yoga or relaxation? Keep doing that.

Because all our emotions tend to come in waves - they build up, then we slowly release some of it, then they build up again... Those waves can go on for a long time, but it doesn’t mean the emotion is stuck, or frozen in your system. It just means that there’s a lot of anger there, and it’s going to keep coming in waves for a while.

Anger is a really healthy response to trauma. And it actually sounds like you’re doing a pretty good job of managing. Some people lose their NaNa completely when they get angry, you know?

If you’re getting frustrated with your current coping strategies, definitely try out some others. If you’re not into heavy cardio type exercise or hobbies, maybe try the art therapy route?

Anger can also be a powerful motivator, which is something else to consider. Now that you’ve finally started feeling angry on your on behalf (which is pretty awesome!), maybe consider some ways to channel that anger into something constructive or healing, either for yourself or for a community group?

Emotions like anger are difficult to have to sit with. But anger is an appropriate, and very healthy response when you’re recovering from trauma. There may be a whole lot of it, but you won’t be stuck with anger forever if you keep releasing it when you can:)
 
Use it to remember your strength & get through the day, and the one after then, and then many after.

In my book anger trumps despair and sadness and many other things, any day.

I liked that 'be water' advice, but that's years to go and already having dealt with some of it, instead of being fresh new IME.
 
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