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Grounding 101

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Bloom, do you ever get a reaction where the rest of you is present but your mind empties of all thought and ability to think? If you do has it ever happened around one particular subject which then stops you from going anywhere near it and repeatedly over a period of time?

No pressure to answer.
 
I'm going to print off that extensive list.

I severely struggle with 'grounding' - the mere thought of being back in the present makes me feel a million times worse. I am confused as to WHY I would 'want' to 'ground' myself ... like I get it in theory - it is a useful tool if you are panicking; but usually I am dissociating, and for me, I am doing so because there is something in the PRESENT that is distressing me. SO why would I want to go back to the 'present' if there is something there distressing me so much that in the present?

That is the bit I get lost on.
 
Grounding actions are those which shift a current distressing emotional state to a more manageable one.

Yup! that's it for me too Bloom. And laughter helps me so much. I can remember being upset in therapy and my T saying something funny and I ended up laughing and crying at the same time. I didn't know that was possible. I knew you cold cry with laughter but I didn't know you could laugh when you are crying with hurt and sadness - but I did.


SO why would I want to go back to the 'present' if there is something there distressing me so much that in the present?

I can only think NovemberStar that the reason we ground is so that we can face up to what we perceive as a threat, handle it and learn from it so that is no longer a threat. This is, of course, not the same as being in real danger where you truly need to get out of a situation. Being triggered and dissociating from something is, I think, a learned pattern of behaviour from things that have happened in the past. One of my traumas is hospital related and surrounds a death. If I see a similar situation on TV I can be triggered and as soon as that happens I use grounding techniques to stop me dissociating and keep me in the present. It means I have control and the trauma isn't winning, that whatever is happening in the present does not have to upset me and make me dissociate. Or at least I can control the panic and it passes much quicker these days.

I'm sure someone else can explain it better than me.
 
We want to come back to the present because that is the physical time our bodies live in. When we are partially in the past, re-experiencing our trauma, it brings all those feelings to our present day existence, stealing yet another day from us.

Transforming our trauma into post-trauma allows our "todays" to be what they are, as they are, without the overlay of past pain and emotional distress.

It's the chance to finally never be re-traumatized by that experience ever again that makes it worthwhile.
 
one particular subject which then stops you from going anywhere near it and repeatedly over a period of time?

No pressure to answer.

Sorry, I just saw this. Yes, the process of physically avoiding progressively more and more triggers to that trauma is a part of the "constriction" of our lives that occurs which impoverishes our emotional health and increases our feelings of isolation and abandonment.

It's at the heart of agoraphobias. The only ways to combat this are to repeated push ourselves to confront it in therapy and in vivo so our brains don't reinforce the fear and generalize it out further.
 
Thanks Bloom. No pressure to respond.

I suspect I didn't describe what I meant very well but it is possible you did know what I meant. It is a very sudden, instantaneous emptying of the mind to the point of being entirely unable to think until it passes. I mean that literally. It feels a little like hitting up against something solid and very suddenly.

To give an example the most bothersome form of it at present is when I sit down with the intention of looking up names and information on therapists (so that I can get back into therapy) and as soon as I am about to start typing, it happens. It happens every single time and has done so for over a year now.

When "softer" versions of it happen it feels more like my mind is filled with clouds or a white hole. I don't have the numbing out of my body or visual changes that often come with other dissociation.
 
I have been around more stress lately and I notice some small things that helps ground me.

1) The 'click' of my boots on the ground as I walk.

2) The smell of my new perfume with the matching lotion. The scent is not strong but with both the perfumes it does not go away during the day very much, even at the end of the day I can smell it. It really helps me.

3) The car steering wheel. It is leather and the inside has big stitching. I run my figures on it when I drive.

Small things. Maybe they are weird things, but I have noticed them.
 
I'm still dissociating during trauma therapy. It's a lot better, and it doesn't happen every session, but as we go through EMDR my therapist still has to remind me to take a break and come back to the present.

My current helpers in grounding me back in the present include:
  • cold water to drink frequently...and I use my full bladder as a physical sensation to help keep my attention :x3:
  • strong mints and gum
  • photos of my kids on my phone
  • looking at my calendar from the past week and talking about the appointments I had
This is a process. I'm still moving trauma as long as I'm able to hold a foot in the present.

My therapist told me "neurons which fire together wire together" meaning...let's not rush and push so hard that I dissociate off part of my feelings, or the trauma narrative is incomplete and takes even longer to heal.

Rushing and wanting to just muscle through has always slowed down my recovery, not sped it up. My brain seems to have a limit and no amount of desire nor bravery is able to overcome that. I now am able to slow down the trauma processing as it's beginning to flood me. I'm not always successful, but there it is.
 
.. my therapist still has to remind me to take a break and come back to the present.. I'm still moving trauma as long as I'm able to hold a foot in the present.

.. not rush and push so hard that I dissociate off part of my feelings, or the trauma narrative is incomplete and takes even longer to heal.

Rushing and wanting to just muscle through has always slowed down my recovery, not sped it up. My brain seems to have a limit and no amount of desire nor bravery is able to overcome that. I now am able to slow down the trauma processing as it's beginning to flood me.

Oh wow Dear Bloom , this helps me so much, I think it's where I have ended up too. I so try to rush. I have to work on grounding (recognition, admitting and tolerance), trust and patience.

Thank you for also saying it's not a question of a lack of bravery or desire. And that it still equates to moving forward.

((((((((((Dearest Bloom)))))))))))
 
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