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Had Anyone Had To Deal With Nasty People?

Discussion in 'General' started by Linda, Feb 21, 2007.

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  1. Linda

    Linda Well-Known Member

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    That looks like I'm in mood to post every day :) Probably, because I'm first time in a place like this.
    What I want to ask - had anyone had worked or otherwise been together with the people who, basically, are making a fun of you because of the PTSD?
    Here is my story. I used to work in a busy emergency veterinary hospital as a surgery and emergency/critical care nurse.Most of my co-workers were nice, and, if occaionally I jumped from a loud noise or had other signs, they pretended nothing had happened. However, there were two guys there, unfortunatelly, one of them a supervisor. They found my jumping and screaming so funny, that they were scaring me, or throwing small things at me, or disturbed me otherwise, all just for being able to observe the reaction and say "Crazy Russian". I was getting really angry, but could not decide whether I have to go to talk to the manager: in part because I did not want to make my problem public, and in part since the supervisor could take some action against me. I had asked an advise on-line at some forum, and most people taled that I need to discuss the issue with the hospital manager. However, I first preferred to tell guys firmly to leave me alone, and that seemed to work. At this time, I got a position offering in the biochemical lab, and was thinking of taking it.
    At some day at work, when I just got a syringe of medicine and was ready to adminicter it to one of four-legged patients, one of the "nasty guys", let's name him John, sneaked behind me and popped a baloon right next to my ears. I jumped, screamed and literally fell, because I just did not understand what happened. It took me a while to get up, and I heard stuff like "Oh, is she always like that?" and "Poor crazy Russian" around. That day I had made a finel decision about changing a job. Also, the hospital manager was notified. I do not know what action was taken, but for the time following my two-weeks note, nobody had done any stupid thing any more.
    Maybe anyone here had a similar experience? And if yes, how did you deal with it?

    I just do not understand waht is making adult serious people to act like dumm little kids...
     
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  3. goingonhope

    goingonhope Member Premium Member

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    Linda, I don't know if it's quite the same, bc when others would respond to me and my exaggerated startle response during employment, I'd just accept it, laugh along with them, and eventually get past it, but none were 'nasty people', friendly and very likable.

    However in response to having to deal with 'nasty people' in my life-time when I was suffering and in most need. Absolutely Yes! And, it hurt so, so much.

    At first I tryed to appeal to their conscience, :crazy: rational or logical side, heart, senses something, I don't really know, but I was always hoping they'd quit with the mean nasty attitudes, words or behaviors. My exhausting efforts did nothing to influence any change. :wall:

    I'll tell you what I did do though that has worked, almost 100%. I no longer expect anything from 'nasty people' except for them to be nasty. And, I've done my best to create a life that allows No room whatsoever, for people like this. :thumbs-up I stay observant, use much discernment, and I welcome good, kind people into my life, or no one at all.

    Your predicament sounds like it was a dilemma. A dilemma being two equally unattractive alternatives. You could've either stayed working alongside them, with them pulling off this BS at every opportunity, :dontknow: or quit, notify the hospital manager as you did and move on. Neither necessarily felt right. But I'd say it was a tough choice. Linda, Did you ever complain and notify the hospital manager before making your final decision to quit? I ask, but really sometimes people intuitively know the upcoming result and it's not enough to decide to stay, and/or they've already had enough. Linda it sounds like you had enough.

    Blatant disregard is what I hear it was, and I too for the life of me will never understand why adults act like this. And, OMG, if they find out they have any power over others to succeed in making others feel bad about themselves, they redouble their efforts.....and if they're instructed or threatened not to behave this way, they wait for the first opportunity to get away with their BS.

    When I'm at my angriest, :angry-fla resulting from others blatant disregard, I'd like to think that these 'nasty people' should be considered hopeless, unforgivable and ostrascized, but that I know this most definately is not a solution.

    One of the most recent quotes I've read speaks of how, one of the toughest things in the world to do is to return love for hate. This continues to challenge me, and is most difficult for me, so long as I'm so situated to have to tolerate such patterned BS, day in and day out. Now on the other hand, if I don't allow or get trapped and can simply get away, I do. I get far away, and later in passing, I find these people far more tolerable, and even if I don't like them can be kind or even loving toward them.

    It's just that I have not an ounce of tolerance left for blantant disregard of other people, it always a trigger and for the life of me I don't understand people like this either.

    Perhaps, Linda, someone here on the forum will be able to share a more similiar experience and tell you what they did. I can't really, as I've said mine didn't have to do with employment. I did learn my lessons though, most of the the hard way.

    I'm glad you got away, and didn't waste another moments time working with snot's like that.

    Apparently, I have a little to much identification having known and witnessed nasty people of the sort. Sorry, and please forgive the long post.

    Hope
     
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  4. mac

    mac Active Member

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    "Had anyone had to deal with nasty people?"

    When I read the title of that thread, the first thought that went into my head was: You gotta be shitt'n me! Who hasn't dealt with nasty people?? Get a grip!

    But I read your post a little further and understood where you were coming from- like a malice and/or descrimination for having PTSD. Hell yea I had to deal with that shit!... My very unit was the first perpetrators of this treatment... I aint got enough time and energy to write all the crap they put on me, and it would just sound like a bunch of bitch'n and moan'n anyway that nobody cares to hear about. If those mf's only knew how close they and I were to becoming world news:gunem-dow
    Other than that, one episode that stands out (civilian world) was when I was attending a college class. During my time in college I was having an extremely hard time... I ended up being put in the psyche hospital for a short while, and once I got out, I was seeing my Vet Center counselor off and on- all of this caused me to either be late or miss classes. One instructor was a real stickler about bringing documentation of counseling sessions and hospitalization to him to verify why I was absent or late. Because of this, I know this mf'er knew I was a 'troubled' Vet and one day he decided to fk with me by, out of nowhere, slamming a book down on the desk in the middle of class. This startled the ever-living sht out of me and my first instinct was to attack the nearest person just outside my peripheral vision. I was seated in a crammed little desk (well I'm kinda big at 260 lbs) and it fortunately slowed me down enough to enable me to gain my composure. Had I been standing at the time, that girl, or whoever was close enough to me, might have been attacked. I would never target a female, but she just so happened to be right there in an area I felt instantly vulnerable. When startled, my minds instict seems to be strike and run... I don't know why really since I was not some trained killer soldier in the military (I was a lab nerd for God's sake, although it seems being in Iraq put one hell of a violent streak in me); just another reason I now avoid being around crowds. I was stunned at what I just went through and instead of kicking the instructors' ass on my way out (I was so tempted to knock his ass out), I just left the class... why??, the same reason those fk's from my unit are still alive- because I got a family. I dropped the class the next day. I felt bad that I reacted like I did that day, and I still feel some 'pay-back' is in order. I just don't have the damn energy to see it through.
     
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  5. Linda

    Linda Well-Known Member

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    Hope,
    Thank you so much for this post. This is somewhat I expected to see: the "nasty people" probably occure everuwhere. Ypu know, I do not mean just those who would make it without thinking anything bad, yes, I would laugh along with such guys, too. I mean those who simply like to hurt others for whatever reason. You are doing absolutelly right with not letting them into your life. Sometimes, it is just impossible. It is also a good thing to be able to accept them as only "nasty people" who do nasty things. Just as you accept the fact that skunks smell :crazy-eye I think those people may have issues themselves, because it just look like someone's pain gives them pleasure. Tjis is not an excuse, but may be an explanation.
    Because anyone can do or say something that hurts others, probably everyone had done it by accident. But a common scence will cause you to apologise and maybe watch what you are saying in the future.
    Not for those guys.
    No, I did not notified the manager before my decision to quit. I would probably do so if did not receive an offering from another company.I do not know whether I did the right thing, but, for this or that reason, everything finally work for me. Now, all my co-workers are supportive, the job is much less stressfull, and I have a real hope for improvement :smile:
    Love for hate - it is not for me for many reasons, I simple desire acceptance instead of uncontrollable anger :wall:

    Thanks again, I wish you the best!
    Linda
     
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  6. YoungAndAngry

    YoungAndAngry Well-Known Member

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    Linda,

    Unfortunatly these types of people do exist (or are created).
    You probally remember some of them from highschool
    (they would have been the school bully or class a$$hole)

    Over time, some of these people may have a life experience that changes their perceptions about the world around them, and how they interact with it.
    Others, may continue to bully and 'tease' others.
    I say 'screw them'!
    Don't let their insecurities and ignorance allow them to make your situation into a comedic act!

    Ughhh, I guess my point is that although it's not fair that these people exist...
    it's just a fact of life.
    but it's very unfortunate that your workplace tolerates practices which would make another feel 'unsafe'.
     
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  7. mac

    mac Active Member

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    "Did you ever complain and notify the hospital manager before making your final decision to quit?"

    GOH, I didn't go past this part of your post because I'm afraid I will lose track of what I want to say here in response... For me, I don't complain because I was once going through life with a healthy mind and back then I would have dismissed anyone with a known psychological disorder as simply a crazy idiot:crazy-eye
     
  8. Linda

    Linda Well-Known Member

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    Mac, I especially do not understand how some college instructors can be such a$$hls. :angry-fla
     
  9. mac

    mac Active Member

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    Sorry GOH, I gotta respond quick again... great post though!:thumbs-up

    "One of the most recent quotes I've read speaks of how, one of the toughest things in the world to do is to return love for hate."

    My problem with this is that it goes against the instictive nature of human survival... "love our enemies?" So we lay down our weapons, bow our heads... and get 'be-headed!' I'm not ready to be that humble... maybe I'm just overreacting here.
     
  10. goingonhope

    goingonhope Member Premium Member

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    It sounds Great, Linda......:smile: "Everything worked out!" Co-workers supportive! Less stressful job! Real hope for improvement!" Can't beat that.......and, well done. You take care.....and my best to you, too.
    Glad you found the forum.

    ps. imagine this: once again lost another post, :sleeping: it was brief response, like this, but lost it none-the-less lost. So here goes again. Easy to do, I suppose, it won't be the last I lose, only to post again, i imagine.

    Just thought of something, you said you were new to the forum Linda, if ever you are posting a long post, my sugg. to you is highlight and copy it at times, so it's always right there on your clipboard, bc this seems to have happened to many of us at one point or another, and perhaps I can spare you that frustr. if you remember this. .......still sleeping :sleeping:

    Goodnight :sleep:

    Hope
     
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  11. Scott_Fraser

    Scott_Fraser Well-Known Member

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    Hi Linda, these 2 guys are nothing but pathetic little bullies. You should have spoken to the manager about them, and something would have been done about it. There is nothing in the world that I hate more is bullies,especially RACIST Bullies, because that is what they were and probably still. You are 50 times better than them, they are just pathetic.
    Take care
    Scott:hello:
     
  12. Nam

    Nam I'm a VIP

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    More than likely, they'll get a taste of what they did to you. Being scared is no fun. Especially when there seems to be no break in the fear. I was really lucky to have supportive friends or friends that respected my privacy. The only problem was with myself and the manager who expected my level of performance to be top notch which I couldn't do...and because I felt like I was letting her down, I quit before resentment started. Looking back now, I just lost confidence in my ability to do the job which is a self esteem issue. All in all I don't have any regrets regarding my resignation.
     
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  13. Linda

    Linda Well-Known Member

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    Scott, agree in every word! I hate racists too, and know something abpout it, since my husband is Native American. If you can imagine this, some people in my family simply do not talk to me any more because of this fact. I also have a white friend, whose wife is black, so they were harrased may times, for instance, ones a black couple talled the girl in a publick place, that she betrayed her race by going with the "white pig". Hate those who try to divide people because of the color!
     
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