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Relationship Had To See His Dad

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Sandi79

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Things have been going great between my boyfriend and I. We have really come a long way in being able to talk and communicate better. Right now, we are still up in the air about living together (he has some stuff here, still gets mail here,etc) but that is okay, we are just letting things happen naturally. He has been working out of state since we had our big fight in January and we see each other at least every 2 weeks. Since he has been on the road a lot, he doesn't really "live" anywhere.

He came home for drill this week and we got to spend a few days alone, which was wonderful but we did have to stop by his parents' house one day for about 20 minutes and that was a bit awkward. After knowing that his dad abused all of them, I found it hard to have a nice conversation with the man (I put on my happy face and did it anyway). That was on Tuesday. On Wednesday, I went to therapy and my boyfriend went to get some things from his parents' that he needed for drill. Later, at lunch, my boyfriend said he had talked to his dad and his dad asked how things were with us (my boyfriend told him we were working things out and doing well) and then his dad asked if he needed help moving the rest of his things from my house to theirs.

I feel really upset that his dad would say that. I know his dad did not approve of us living together since we were not married (ridiculous since we are both divorced and 34 years old), but I feel like his dad should not butt in to our relationship. What I do feel good about is my boyfriend told his dad that he did not need help and that he likely would have all his stuff at my house instead.

I just don't know how to face his parents when they act like his.
 
It sounds like his parents are acting like 'normal' parents - normal awkward stuffy parents maybe, but still normal.

I imagine that the fact that this man abused him effects how you feel, and I'm not suggesting that it shouldn't, it's just that I can't understand what you are thinking or feeling about this from what you've written here.

I'd be happy to offer any advice I can, but would you be able to explain more please.
 
Part of my boyfriend's issues stem from childhood abuse, from his dad, and also from his mom basically leaving the children for years at a time.

Also, while we were having issues in January, his father pushed to come to my home and pack up my boyfriend's things while he was out of state, even though I told his father that it should be between my boyfriend and I, and not involve him.

I also do not care for his father's input on our relationship as his father did the same to my boyfriend's brother to the point that the brother no longer speaks to the family.

It was just awkward for me to speak to his dad the other day because I no longer think very fondly of his dad and I feel that its a mutual feeling.
 
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