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Hannah's Mental Imagery

Discussion in 'General' started by hannah, Jan 1, 2007.

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  1. hannah

    hannah Active Member

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    WARNING: If you plan on submitting your own mental imagery interview for assessment, DO NOT read the proceeding first, instead fill out your own interview first, then read these, so your current mental image is not skewed, resulting in a possible inaccurate emotional state being returned to you.

    This is an imaginery journey down a road. Take in the sights, sounds and colours, just like a video camera recording all that lies surrounding you. Survey the scene, noticing whatis far off in the distance, the background surrounds, the weather, the season and a total image of what you view. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Try to visualize it as a picture on a canvas, but with movement, sound, colour and emotion. You are the surveyor on this journey. Draw your journey on paper if you desire, as it often shows clearer results, then attach your drawing via snapshot or scan to your post.

    Q1. What colour is the road? grey, sun bleached
    Q2. What texture is the road? chippings, broken tarmac
    Q3. How solid is the road? not solid flimsy thin and rough edges

    You continue walking and come to a river that must be crossed. There before you is the river; the size and depth are up to you. You cannot go around it but must imagine a way to cross it. Whatever you need to cross the river is already within your mind, just imagine seeing yourself do it.

    Q4. How do you cross the river? solid wooden bridge with handrails.
    Q5. What does the water look like? white froth on muddy brown
    Q6. How fast is the water current? furious
    Q7. Is there anything in the water? If so, what? large rocks sticking up leading to a calm deep pool on the side

    You have crossed the river and continue walking. You come to a house. Take a good look at the house. Notice the impression it makes on you.

    Q8. What colour is the house? white
    Q9. What condition is the house in? good solid stone
    Q10. Does anyone live in the house? If so, who? dont know no lights

    We continue forward in our minds journey and come to an open field. A cup is on the ground, and we stop to examine it. The cup can be of any size, shape, colour and description. Focus on it's look, condition and contents.

    Q11. What colour is the cup? pinky crimson
    Q12. What condition is the cup in? good
    Q13. Is there anything in the cup? If so, what? 2 inches of water

    You continue walking down the road and come to something blocking your path. It stops you in your tracks and prevents you from going forward. This is an obstacle.

    Q14. What is the obstacle, and please describe it in detail? 5 bar gate, solid wood bleached large metal latch that goes over the gatepost.
    Q15. What do you see beyond the obstacle? a track well worn with tyre tracks and a grass verge in the middle and at the sides. trees and shrubs and hills in the distance.
     
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  3. hannah

    hannah Active Member

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    The road is grey, local stone chippings and bleached by the fabulous summers. Manmade textures to protect the earth from heavy walking traffic. Just enough to cover and preserve the natural path but killing the beauty anyway This path is one our family friends and dog walked along many times laughing and enjoying the freedom.

    The river is angry and hungry the bridge is slippery underfoot but my husbands words comfort me an
     
  4. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hannah, can you please complete this part of the interview. I left what you had started above. This is about trying to identify your feelings to what you wrote.

    // Start Self Analysis "copy between the tags" //

    Now you have had a break, go back to every question and look at your response. Try and find what you feel that your mind presented the image it did. Explain colours you chose, textures, water, cup, solids, liquids, space, objects, people, anything and everything that you wrote from your projected image, try and find what you feel to why you have that image. Don't look hard at things, instead try and look for the easy answers, as they are often the correct one's. Don't attempt to find something that isn't present, just look at each aspect for its absolute simplicity.

    This is not an absolute, but something you must do in order to try and self analyse yourself. This is important. Please answer what you can, and simply define if you cannot find an emotion to a response you gave.

    // End Self Analysis "copy between the tags" //
     
  5. hannah

    hannah Active Member

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    I remember being so loved and cared for and protected he was a mrvelous husband and we were the envy of our friends. could it have been a sham?
    the water is churning up debris and it is brown and muddy foaming white as it rages it smells of the earth and grass. I see this as his emotions now all mixed up and furious.

    The large rocks stand upright and strong in the water you could try to get onto them if the bridge went they would provide an alternative route to the other side. How best to tackle life should I stay on the relatively safe bridge or start my own life unsure.

    The house is brilliant white matt paint a small cozy cottage. small windows with no lights. it has strength local stones old and still maintained but not adorned or loved. I have always had an image of a holiday cottage very similar to this but it has the most important thing missing for me - a rambling tea rose tumbling on an arch. this was not there. I sometimes feel that my dreams of us are shattered but I still can have my dreams.

    the bridge has a strong handrail but I am aware the whole thing could be washed away. It a short bridge and soon we are the other side listening to the sound of the angry water and cold spraying foam.
     
  6. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Life

    Hannah, your life at present is very confused; you are struggling to see clarity within life itself. You view life as moderately difficult being presented with many unknown factors you're struggling to come to terms with. The "ups and downs" life presents us as such.

    Sexual Relationships

    You have a moderate mistrust in intimacy, aware of dangers therein of not being in control due to a fast paced relationship, also which you are aware off. You are very sexually preoccupied at present, also coming through in confusion.

    Support System

    You have an innocent idealism regarding your support systems. You are in denial of not having had good support. Confusion also present.

    Commitment

    You are in denial of being hurt in a committed relationship. You demonstrate a commitment towards someone or something else. This is an emotional commitment, not sexual.

    Most Significant Problem

    Death ideation is present within your life and are very pessimistic about things being better in the near future.

    Hannah, I am taking the death ideation to private messages for further discussion immediately, before continueing here.
     
  7. hannah

    hannah Active Member

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    The cup is a pretty crimson pink it has inches of water and it is glinting in the sun. It is a welcome cool sip after the tumultuous water of the river. it lies on its side in the grass. It is a throwaway cup but is stronger than expected so I reuse it. (I am thrifty and appreciate beauty)

    the gate is a 5 bar solid wooden gate witha metal latch over the gatepost easily opened. I can see the track a well worn tyre track with a grass verge in the middle and each side the grass has new growth and I can smell it and the pine trees that line it.
    It stretches off in to the hills. It is calm and I dont know whether to open the gate and amble, if I do should I look back and wait for my husband to follow. It beckons.

    (Although this is an image sure I recognise this place as a real place in our local national park. Ive just realised this is very much like our garden gate -not so strong- pine trees - new growth in the grass!!!? Have been threatening to move and make a new life could this be symbolic?


    Anthony sorry this has been in stages - have had trouble with my computer but you are right this was difficult for me the images conjure up far happier times.
     
  8. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hannah, I have gone to private message for you at present, and will await that response privately before continueing here.
     
  9. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hannah, what do you now perceive in relation to your life from the mental image projected above?
     
  10. hannah

    hannah Active Member

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    not sure.

    Do you mean the last bit?

    Really dont know - have tried to fathom it all out - but I havent got the answers. I am a grown up and have responsibilities but I feel let down and alone - I feel so differently to what I used to - happy go luck planning the future always had the "family" now It looks like I could well be on my own!!! Frightens me. He has shown some understanding of the anger he has shown and he apologised yesterday for being very insensitive! Astonished . But the future who knows. He has left a massive void in our lives and we dont recognise him sad ....
     
  11. hannah

    hannah Active Member

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    The gate holds the calmer more serene future for me and my kids - just dont know whether he will call after us to wait for him. SO Perhaps I am saying I ll move on and let god be my guide I cant control any other and who would want someone who wants to take another path? Not me Butterflies have to fly. I'm tired of all of this.
     
  12. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hannah, your emotional self certainly shows the pain you are enduring from your marriage breakdown, more being your partner up and leaving you, with little to no ability of you seeing it coming. I can see that you are trying to see the more realistic path for yourself and your children, though your emotional self is certainly still struggling to come to terms with it all. The loss of a marriage is certainly nothing fun, and creates much pain from such an event, pain in which you must get out of you, not keep within. You are doing this across the forum in parts, but maybe holding some things in still. Just remember Hannah, you are doing extremely well at present with the load within your life, the circumstancs surrounding your marriage breakdown, and the more you keep talking it all out, the more you can analyse your own self pain.

    With any marriage breakdown, it does take time to put the pieces back together again. I would recommend that if your not in your own counselling, then please get some weekly counselling to help you talk face to face with someone about all current emotional pain you suffer.
     
  13. hannah

    hannah Active Member

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    Thank you anthony for your words .... you are right this site has let me extol feelings and hidden emotions of my own as well as my marriage problems. I have been very confused but the fog is clearing for me. I am getting stronger. My husband has been such a good man and his behaviour is so out of charachter. He has the capacity to "compartmentalize" and I know him better than anyone .... I am convinced he is drowning a trauma and he does have a few to choose from.... I know from this site I cant help or control or indeed demand he faces it he has to do that.

    Time is the word and I am going forward ... this site has been literally a life saver to me. I would like to thank all that have taken time to reply to my "vents" . Ill never forget the relief I found when other spouses were suffering the same symptoms. I wasnt strong enough to recognise the problems but I am now and hpoefully will fair better as the future unfolds.
    thanks again.
     
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