1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

The Daily Dose

Get the last 24hrs of new topics delivered to your inbox.

Click Here to Subscribe

Happy Ending - Does It Exist?

Discussion in 'Supporter Discussion' started by kguyton, Jan 17, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. kguyton

    kguyton New Member

    19
    0
    0
    I really need to hear about some happy endings here. I hear about how it is hell to live with this disorder. I see how you - as a spouse - have to work damn hard to keep your own footing - when living with a PTSD spouse.

    I just need to know that there is light at the end of this tunnel? What is the best i can hope for? Thats what I need: Hope.

    I would like to hear from anyone who has been in hell - and now is in the garden of eden? Ha Obviously i'm exaggerating - but you know what I mean. When does this shit become not the biggest part of your life?

    Please tell me there is a happy ending. When my husband was hospitalized for a "chemically induced" psychosis - he was writing a suicide letter, describing a scenario where he wanted to take hostages to show the world the err of its ways - this was one year ago - Horrified, I asked his therapist, "Will he come back to me? Will his mind come back to reality?" She said, "We just don't know, Kelli. It's too early to tell" And her words haunt me. He did come back to reality - but he is dead inside and just barely functioning. I felt no reassurance from her - understandably....but does anyone out there have a story to share where you have been "there"?
     
  2. Register to participate in live chat, PTSD discussion and more.
  3. Andrea42

    Andrea42 Active Member

    191
    5
    0
    Kguyton,
    Not to bring you or anybody else down....
    and i am not even sure if i have the right to express my opinion considering i have not been in this situation for as long as others but as of right now.. and so far i feel there is no happy ending for me and my husband...Its just a feeling i have at the moment..I do not think there is such a thing as going back to "normal"
    In my situation, things are just "ok" at the moment but we keep having alot of ups and downs...more downs :( I feel as though we are destroying each other little by little with all the problems...

    It will make me happy if somebody here actually has a happy ending story... i would like to read it as well...we need something to look forward to :(
    ~HuGs~
     
  4. Jen

    Jen Well-Known Member

    752
    17
    0
    I will have a day where I think this is good we are getting on, he is approachable, has he turned the corner and I get all excited. Go to bed with a smile thinking at last! But no doesnt last long. I have to stop doing that it is disappointing when he goes back down again.
    Jen
     
  5. Andrea42

    Andrea42 Active Member

    191
    5
    0
    i feel the same Jen..at first it is disappointing... but after a while i just start losing so much hope and i get so depressed :( makes me want to give up because i feel i am never going to be happy with him again :( hate it when it doesnt last long... i even go into shock sometimes :( so wierd....
     
  6. Jen

    Jen Well-Known Member

    752
    17
    0
    Yeh Andrea I was getting depressed about the whole thing for a while and I could have been easily dragged down with him.
    If I would have let that happen we would have been in a lot of shit financially so I had to step up and take control of the situation as he hit the wall just after we went in to a lot of debt buying a business.
    But a day doesnt go past that I wonder what will happen with our future I really have to learn to take it day by day but its hard not knowing whats around the corner.
    Jen
     
  7. TinCanCommando

    TinCanCommando Member

    26
    1
    0
    I am not a spouse but am a family member, and I do share the hope that things will be better. The last few days with my cousin have been particularly stressful for the family. We are concerned about her, but also must take care of ourselves. I would love to read a happy ending story, in fact I hope that is my cousin's story someday.

    Cheers, Brian
     
  8. jods

    jods Well-Known Member

    637
    16
    0
    Hi Ladies

    I'm not really sure what to say but I suppose I'm one of the "lucky" ones whose hubby hasn't totally gone off the rails so to speak.
    I think the difference with my hubby's PTSD is that within a week of his incident he was seeing a doc & getting help. This is something I will always be extremely thankful for. Hubby knew straight away that something was wrong with him.
    Don't get me wrong, we still struggle daily to deal with all this has to offer. He will be going to hospital in Feb for a rest but this was because he has been honest enough to say that he needs help because he isn't coping well at the moment.
    I know that our life now isn't what we thought it would be & as a result we have had to make a hell of a lot of changes. Some good, some not so good.
    The main thing I have learned through this is that I have to seek help too. Our men have changed so much during all of this & we have too.
    I suppose the biggest question we have to ask ourselves is do we love them enough to stay & fight this with them & find out if we too are able to learn new life skills to help us grow also, or do you throw in the towel & walk away?
    Personally, I'm taking off my rose coloured glasses, seeking help for myself to become a better person & learn as much as I can to do what I can to help me stand beside my hubby to help him find the "new" man he is becoming.
    Sorry a bit long winded but that's just how I feel about it.
     
  9. Andrea42

    Andrea42 Active Member

    191
    5
    0
    Brain,
    that was very touching.. and i hope that i do read your cousins story one day too...hopefully sooner than later :) she has great support, keep doing what you are doing...you are helping her so much.
    Jen,
    I do think about being responsible most of the time but i get to the point where i think what if i try and try and then all of a sudden someday he decides he does not want to be with me anymore?? thats scares me becasue i do love him and i am not going anywhere but there are times where you think "what if he leaves me???" :( i dont know...thats kinda where i am stuck right now...its tough...
    Jods,
    Have not talked to you in a while...glad you see the bright side of this and things are going well for you two. you deserve it :) you are an amazing person for doing what you are doing and being stronger than me. But then again it does take two...im glad your hubby got help right away...he did the right thing...you guys are on the right road :)
    i kinda see a happy ending here, hehe :)
    ~HuG~
     
  10. somaliaspouse

    somaliaspouse Member

    33
    0
    0
    a happy ending for me i see as a fairy tale - it would be nice to say that in 12 months they will be feeling better but it just wont happen. i see ptsd as a terminal illness with no real treatment unless they want to help themself.

    over the last 8 yrs i have watched my husband get progressivley worse. from nightmares to hallucinations, violence and psychological abuse. whether he is drunk or sober there is no difference - drunk just means it will eventually stop cause he has passed out. i came home from work last night and he told me he is divorcing me, the reason was cause i said it would be ok for a female friend to stay with us a week so she can find a unit to move into - this looks like an ending for us. but i dont want to stop him this time - i cant handle anymore of his crap
     
  11. Andrea42

    Andrea42 Active Member

    191
    5
    0
    Im sorry things are going so bad Somaliaspouse :(
    but what do you think about this...
    my husband never told me he wanted to divorce me...he has never said it..if anything i have said it a million times.
    But he left me once last year and kinda forgot to tell me he was moving on at the moment.... nowadays, i dont even know if he really wants to be with me or if hes with me because he feels bad for me :( he cant answer me when i ask him why does he want to stay married to me....makes me sad.... but im almost sure hes pretty much done with me, he just hates hurting my feelings.... and hes against divorce so i have no idea where i will end up...all i know is that he is doing things wrong and in the end i will probably end up very hurt
     
  12. Celt

    Celt Member

    29
    1
    0
    Hi Kguyton,
    I would say that it gets easier when you do live day to day and stop looking for the "perfect life" that we're probably all guilty of wanting.It doesn't exist.We all have the life we have and we all have a choice to be with a person or not.
    For me the answer is to attend to myself and my own personal growth,when my partner is doing ok,i get lots of "me" time....when he's having a rough time,i then have the emotional energy to support him without feeling resentful about it.
    I've definitely had to learn to look after myself though(i'm still learning to do it) instead of focusing on my partners problems all the time,it can too easily become the MAIN thing in your relationship if you let it.It's definitely a balancing act,but,i love my partner to bits,he's a brilliant guy,who just happens to suffer from PTSD.
     
  13. somaliaspouse

    somaliaspouse Member

    33
    0
    0
    sometimes i think life is going to be so much easier when he not here - he left me last yr and legally we are separated, i worry about him so much especially when he having bad days and is curled up crying. or just not showing any emotion at all scares me more than anything. i dont know what to expect when i ask him something

    with you ending up hurt - yes i think that will happen initially but think of waking up in the morning and knowing there will be no anger in the house today, my kids are happy and no longer scared of the man who is their father. in the long run i think him leaving will be a step forward and yes it does hurt - my heart aches terribly but i cant live like this any longer - my babies dont need to live in fear of the next violent outburst or put downs.
     
Loading...
Similar Threads - Happy Ending Does
  1. Linzee
    Replies:
    2
    Views:
    402
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Show Sidebar