catatonicky
Learning
Hi, Just wondering if anyone else on the forum has experience with doing self-defence type courses or martial arts and if that has helped with the PTSD and "feeling safe"? I have been advised to do one for years but when i tried it years ago i found that it was too triggering at the time and that i couldnt "fight back", that even "kicking" at a course buddy wearing a padded sheild would leave me nearly fainting with anxiety. At the gym i tried to join in with the "boxersizes" but couldnt muster enough strength to punch the ball, and felt so embarrassed and self-conscious that i told the instructor that i couldnt do that particular kind of gym work. Once i burst out into hysterical giggling watching the others punching a bag in unison. So i'm wondering if this is something i need to "work on" and force myself to do. There is a course being offered in town called "Israeli Defence Force Street-Style Self Defence" and i feel like i need to do something like this so i can overcome my fear of "fighting back". It seems that i have turned this into a no-no in my mind and can only learn to take and "suffer" punshment. Actually, that is something that i've turned into an art form. Any advice?