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Has anyone else ever felt guilty for being born

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I know I will never be whole, normal, or have a normal life or even a decent life.

Not true!

You can recover and have an enjoyable life. I had PTSD, DID, and Major Depression - but no more.

I don't actually have coping skills, I am beginning to acquire them.

Keep working on the coping skills. Once you have them down, the worst will be over.
 
Yes, I was used as the excuse as to why my biological father had to marry my mother and he in turn acted in passive agressive ways against us both to quit his jobs, take drugs, neglect me, abuse me and have sexual parties exclusive of my mother's knowledge and participation but in full view of me. My step father also physically and emotionally was abusive and treated me like unwanted baggage that my mother brought along and my mother was forced to 'choose my stepfather over me'. A lot of times jealous people wanted to make me feel invalidated as a person to make themselves feel better. Still working on this thing of having intrinsic value and not having to prove worth through self-sacrificing just to validate my existence when others believe that their mere existence has much intrinsic worth than that of others' existence.
 
It is never the child's fault so it is clearly not your fault ever. I would never place the blame and hatred on my kids ever for being such a precious gift to me.

I am the product of a drunk womans date rape, and then to her horror was forced to marry her rapist. She had become pregnant with me and hated and resented me for her bad life, when she needed to have been angry at her mom and mother in law for forcing her to get married.

I found out when I was in the fourth grade one night. The way my dad described it seemed as if it was a romantic fantasy, the man was so evil and so twisted and sick. Then it was confirmed by my grandma on my dads side the same year. My mom never told me a thing. She took all of her shameful secrets with her. My grandma did not believe that my mom was pregnant and forced her to lay down so she could feel her stomach. But instead of taking her anger out on them she took it out on me.

I tell you that my life has never been the same since. I can say honestly that it was not my fault in any way at all, ever.

It is not your fault that your mom got sick and died and I think she needed to put the blame where it belonged to the doctors who did that to her and she then got sick and died. It makes me so angry that she put all of that displaced anger on you.

I really hope for the day when you become free of the lies she placed on you. You are completely innocent and children try so hard to make sense out what the abusive parents tell them. I hope that your spirit revives and you realize that this thing had nothing at all to do with you. I hope for the day when you will begin to set yourself free from the lies and abuse. You did not deserve to carry that shame every. It is simply not logical to believe these lies about you anymore.
 
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