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Has Anyone Felt Sorry For Their T

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zoie33

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My therapist has been on vacation this week yes it's killing me but I don't want him to know that. I have tried to look at it kind of is a test for myself I have not done well I'm afraid to even tell him my thoughts. I actually feel sorry for him because I know when he comes back he's going to have nothing but a bunch of people that are freaking out because he's been gone for a week. It must be really hard to come back as a therapist from vacation knowing that you're going to face one freaking out person after another. After all they are only human even though that's their job it's still must be rough. Both of my appointments this week are the last ones of his day so by the time he sees me I'm sure he's had enough for the day. Does anyone else ever feel guilty about showing that you need them too much and try to put on a brave face when inside you're really the basket case?
 
Bwahahahaha! I never thought of it that way. But you did make me laugh. Thanks :)

I wouldn't worry about putting on a brave face though. I suspect most therapists are rewarded by seeing the honest progress their clients more than than anything else.
 
Does anyone else ever feel guilty about showing that you need them too much and try to put on a brave face when inside you're really the basket case?

Yep!

I feel very bad for my therapist to have to deal with me in general, every session. 8 years and are we even a 3rd of the way there? A 4th even? I have to be the hardest client he has ever seen!

So yeah, that goes through my mind a ton! I know he is very well trained and well experienced but still. We went back and forth in a sort of a battle for about 4 full years about whether it was or wasnt abuse/ok, wrong/justified & right & holy, his word "horrible" which I still don't see but anyway, its years of a back and forth fight basically and today its still sort of a back and forth so yeah, i think i am his toughest client and feel horrible for him to have to deal with me.
 
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I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with me on a regular basis. Truly.

Cool trick, though? Every time (that I catch myself) wanting to apologize for being me, or take responsibility for their life choices (I may be stuck with me, but for everyone else it's voluntary)... I turn it around.

Instead of "I'm sorry." >>> Thank you.
 
I wouldn't worry, your therapist is likely to have a number of different clients all with different issues and all at different stages of treatment. So, for every one that's had s hard time and is freaking out a bit there will likely be someone who, having done fine during the break realises it's time to end, or someone who is doing ok and in therapy for their own development and is ok with space, or someone who just checks in every few weeks/months.

We tend to think all our Ts clients are just like us, because that's what we know in therapy - and some might be. A good therapist knows to balance their client load to make sure they arent faced with a string of very distressed folk one after the other - even Ts that specialise in trauma.

I say all of that so you can possibly give yourself permission to go to therapy and do exactly what you feel you need to do without feeling sorry for or worrying about your T. It's very caring of you but your T can and should be looking after them self.
 
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Thanks Suzetig. I read so much about transference and people that are obsessed with their T. I kind of have this problem too but I am too controlling to let it be known. My T made an appt for me last Monday even though he said he usually doesn't see anyone at 5 on Mondays but he wanted me to at least be able to come once this week before he left. At first I was relieved but then my "can't rely on anyone" self said no. I didn't want to accept him going out of his way for me so I emailed him to cancel it. I told him to give it to someone else or better yet leave for vacation early and enjoy himself. I wanted that appointment so bad but I can't let him know my dependent side. He knows I have issues asking for help and how high my wall is for showing the world that I rely on no one. It is a daily struggle. Inside I am a basket case but I can't let him see how bad that really is. I try so hard to be strong and I hate being a burden. Guilt rules me life. Sorry. I am rambling.

Thanks again for the encouraging words. I will see how I am dealing with it on Tuesday when I go back.
 
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