I've made a rather confusing and quite hurtful discovery, but the way in which I've made it and my girlfriend's current mental state have me pretty torn on how to deal with this. In the wake of a recent anxiety episode - so bad she could barely speak, let alone leave her room and suffered some minor delusions - I came to stay at hers for about a week. Barring the personal space issues (we slept in the same bed, but she didn't like being kissed on the mouth or held for too long, but she'd still hold my hand when we were falling asleep / stroke my face occasionally, etc.), we had a good time loafing around watching DVDs with the odd social event and whatnot as she recovered. Having got back today, I decided to have a cursory look at her posts in a forum she discusses her PTSD in, since she'd been kind of emotionally quiet while I was there. Pretty much the first thing I found was a post by her from the same day her anxiety episode was at its worst - the day before I came to stay - talking about how much she missed her ex, whom she left over four years ago, and how lonely she felt and how he was the only person she'd ever truly loved. Given our relationship up til now, this is almost more baffling than painful to read - it just runs totally counter to everything that's happened between us up to this point. We had a few months last year where we had to split up in the wake of a dissociative state she suffered as the result of a suicide attempt, and we ended up reconciling partly because, in her words, she realised that she loved me and she didn't want to lose her chance with me to her PTSD. We get along fine, we never argue, and neither of us has been anything but dedicated and loving to the other, and this is just completely out of the blue. Of course, the situation I'm in now is that I feel I need to know if this is genuine or an emotionally unstable outburst that I shouldn't worry about, but I can't ask her up front because A) she's still kind of fragile and I don't want to start putting pressure on her to quantify our relationship and B) asking would involve admitting that I've breached her privacy somewhat, even with the best intentions (yeah, I know, road to hell and all that). I'm just at a total loss. Can anyone with more general insight on the state of mind she was in offer any perspectives or advice?