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Sexual Assault He said it was all consensual....

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I've been seeing this guy for the last 2-3 months. Each time he forced himself on me. Initially I fe...

Okay, take a couple of big breaths, then think: there is no way that you would possibly ever want to be treated by anyone like that, logically no one would ask for something like that.

Secondly, someone like that has huge issues with women, most likely has visited many prostitutes (because those are the types of men that visit prostitutes: the ones that hate women are the ones that solicit from women like that) and has likely issues with his mommy. I see these types of guys at my workplace: all they have contact with are little bimbos at work, the ones that say o.k. after a couple of minutes. They only have experience with such women, then they literally think they can get away with that with others too. Believe me, such guys have an intense hate of women. Ask any prostitute: she may not agree openly, but every prostitute out there knows that the only clientele she gets are men who are frustrated that they can not land a real woman. Of course prostitutes would never admit that. But that is how it is.

So, there are two angles to this: you: never would you want to be treated like that by anyone, naturally you would never ask for a situation like that.
Second angle: here is a guy that has already violated you several times, that obviously has serious issues, and that obviously will not stop until he is stopped. The fact that he is attempting to contact you shows his absolute unwillingness to even accept that what he did was wrong.

And yes, he is trying to make you look like a slut, because that is the only type of woman he is used to. Such men are such loosers to begin with, they can only exist or function if they assault innocent women like you.

I am so very sorry he did all of this to you, that breaks a person on the inside. You may have to think of ways to defend yourself if he decides to show up, we all do not like to think about that, but it is a reality.

By the way, that is a statement that I am familiar with: why did he use me? That is normal for a victim to say. But then I pause and say: wait a minute, that is something different, I did not want that kind of treatment, someone has repeatedly forced himself onto me physically an mentally. So that is not someone that is using you, that is someone that is trying to take your freedom away without even letting you decide for yourself.

So therefore, you were not used: You were violated, never forget: that is exactly what a predator would like you to think: that he used you. Nope, huge difference there, he violated you.
 
Thanks @Freedomfighter , I've been thinking about the entire issue over a month now. Initially, I thought it was all my fault and I was making things up in my head and it can't be that bad. However, I'm getting more depressed day by day. So in conclusion, the effect of him violating my boundaries is taking its toll on me psychologically. I am depressed and each day I cry for several ours, gaining weight, losing interest in activities, insomnia, sadness, and not taking care of myself. So what he has done is not right and I am seeing the after effects right now. I have started counseling two weeks ago but I think I will need a lot more counseling than I thought I would. That guys has seriously hurt me.

Lastly, when I come to realise, I think he probably was on drugs. I didn't catch that then but he works 80 hrs per week, making nearly $1000 but before the end of the week he had no money left. There were occasions where he wanted me to buy him food which I didn't thankfully. His walking style was not normal. He always wanted to see me in absence of other people and privately. He never introduced me to his friends and had anger issues. He was not a stable person mentally. He was angry one minute and the next minute he was okay. So this tells a lot about him. My friends said that he could've been around prostitutes a lot too because he certainly didn't care about protection when he forced himself on me. I feel sick about the entire incident tbh and I can't seem to get over this shit.
 
I'm feeling very shit right now @Casey_03 . It feels like I'm not better than a whore. I feel very cheap and disgusted :( :( :( :( . I can't even concentrate on studies or my health. Seriously, this is bringing me down every day :( :cry: :depressed:

It's all a lie. The thing about abuse is that it lies. Even if we are never told these things verbally, the abuse tells us we are worthless, cheap, objects, shameful, etc. But these are all lies. And they are planted so deep within us because sexuality goes to our core. We take the lies on as our identities. But they are just lies.

This is who you are... you are a woman full of hope and potential. You have the capacity to develop into someone who can trust the right people, and who can understand how valuable and precious you are.

You are not the lies that you have been told. The guy who assaulted you believed you are those lies. That's why he did what he did. But he is a horror of a person, and whatever he says can't be trusted. So the lies that he told you about yourself, as with the others who abused you all through your life, do not belong to you. They belong to the perpetrator. They are not truths, and you can lay them down and separate them from yourself. If you can't do that on your own, maybe a counselor can help you.
 
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