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Hello Everyone - My Wife Was Raped

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by tarheelman, Mar 4, 2007.

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  1. tarheelman

    tarheelman New Member

    I came to this forum as I was looking for info for my wife, who was diagnosed with PTSD. She suffered from a rape almost 14 years ago, and it is only now that the trauma is beginning to assert itself. She refrained from telling her mother at the time because her mother was sick, and she didn't want to tell me because she was afraid I wouldn't want to have anything to do with her. We've been married 8 years, and have 2 wonderful boys. She finally broke down and told me what happened about a month ago, and I told her that I would help her through whatever she needed to get a handle on this...

    I have researched different medications as they've been introduced to her. She was suffering from about three panic attacks a day, and after beginning Lexapro, she is down to one a day... Then she started having these vivid visions of the assailant, which were quite disturbing, of course, and then her doctor prescribed seroquel... Bad move. Yesterday, we were in and out of the emergency room because of the bad effects. Basically, she passed out and was non responsive. We took her into the ER yesterday morning about 7:30 AM, and we were told it was a reaction to the seroquel. Got discharged around 2:00PM, went home, and she was basically sleeping off the medicine. Around 7:00PM, she started complaining again of not feeling well, and basically passed out again... Back to the ER, where they admitted she probably shouldn't have left in the first place, even if she was seeming more alert and coherent. This time, we got discharged at aroung 3:00AM, and wouldn't you know it, once we got back to the house, it happened again. This time, we managed to get her upstairs and in bed, and slept it off. She had these tremors once during the night, where her arm and leg was shaking, but it passed quickly. Right now, she's fine and alert, just really tired and sleepy. She's asleep as we speak.

    I just figured now was as good a time for my introductory post since I've been lurking here for the past few weeks. Fortunately, my wife has decided to pursue therapy, which she was against at first, for fear of having to relive the whole dreadful experience. She is curious about the EMDR therapy, as she is at a point where she just wants to be able to live some semblance of a normal life as soon as she can.

    Me? I'm just trying not to be overwhelmed with thoughts of hunting the person that did this to her down and causing him serious bodily pain for what he did to her, and ultimately, our family. My 7 yr old son was crying yesterday because he is unsure of what is happening to Mommy, and as much as I try to be brave for him, he's not stupid; he can tell when something is not right.

    Sorry, didn't realize how long this had gotten, guess I needed to vent somewhat.
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  3. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

    Welcome to the forum taheelman.
  4. cookie

    cookie I'm a VIP

    this is a good place to vent, welcome to the forum.
  5. tarheelman

    tarheelman New Member

    Thanx, everyone.

    She had a couple more "passing out" episodes this evening (that seroquel is one strong drug...), but is resting comfortably. She took her regular dose of Lexapro just before going to bed, so I'm almost waiting for the subsequent panic attack... She has an initial therapy session scheduled for next week on the 12th, and I've told her I'd go with her if she wants.

    I must admit though, having thoughts of wanting to escape somewhere, just for a little while, to clear my head... It's been a lot to process over the last month or so, after finally finding out why she had been so depressed. It's almost like our lives changed overnight. But then I feel guilty for thinking so selfishly that way.
  6. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

    Welcome to the forum. Was this her only trauma? If so then someone who knows what they are doing (do a search on EMDR on here for more info) may be a good option for her. Good luck, we all know how it feels when the bottoms of our lives just fell out, on both ends.
  7. nov_silence

    nov_silence Well-Known Member

    I don't think you should feel guilty about wanting time to yourself. Seeing that you are in a care taker role.... are their friends near by that could watch your son, while you go grab some coffee or tea... or something.... Feeling guilty is only going to gear you up even more. You are human and you have needs of your own.

    Go easy on yourself. Thoughts are with you
  8. tarheelman

    tarheelman New Member

    Yes, this was her only trauma. We've done enough research to see that EMDR works better for people who have singular trauma events, as opposed to multiple traumas. There is a therapist not far from our house who seems to be very well versed in EMDR therapy.

    We have friends nearby who can watch the kids, in fact, our friend up the street stayed with our sons on Friday last week so we could go eat at Applebees' and then watch Norbit... Well, at least we had a good meal... :dontknow:
  9. carpediem2006

    carpediem2006 Active Member

    I am personally wary of heavy medication...panic attacks and flashbacks are horrible...but some of the medical solutions seem to incur more problems than they solve for some.

    It would seem a key point to look at together and with your doctor is how and why this is triggered know so long after the event. Is it becuase she is able to feel comfortable to discuss it for the first time, and in doing so is reliving the event that has been supressed.

    Something would appear to be a trigger somewhere, otherwise it would be unlikely to have had a fulfilling sex life and reared two children. Regardless of the trigger, you can now both do something about it. But identifying why this is happening now could be useful for you both.
  10. vcc123

    vcc123 Active Member

    Welcome to the forum Tarheelman.. its been a great source of support for me.. hope we can be here for you too. :redface:
  11. tarheelman

    tarheelman New Member

    We looked into EFT therapy, but my wife was wary of anything having to do with "hypnosis". Last night was particularly rough for her, as she didn't get any sleep... Anytime she got to sleep, she was having nightmares of the trauma all over again.
  12. GR-ass

    GR-ass Well-Known Member

    hugs tightly

    welcome hon.
  13. Terry

    Terry Well-Known Member

    Welcome Tarheel. She will find lots of friends here. You just made a lot of friends for your support of your wife and family.
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