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Hello - My Husband Suffers From PTSD

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Alienne, Jul 31, 2007.

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  1. Alienne

    Alienne Member

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    I´m married to a veteran who is suffering severely from PTSD. This monster of an illness has broken, not only him, but recently also our little family. We have just separated, as his symptoms (nightmares, anger, verbal aggresion etc.) were too much for me to cope with, and we have a small baby to consider too. We haven´t got any family around and are very alone in that sense. I´m here to find support in trying to cope. I´m here to try to find the strength to be able to give support to my husband. My hopes are that we´ll be a family again one day. Thanks for taking your time.
     
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  3. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    You have come to the right place. Welcome to the forum and I think you will find carers here very supportive and understanding.
     
  4. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hi Alienne, welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear about your misfortune regarding the young bub, I know how that one feels myself. Be kind to yourself, that is important. Its not your fault that he has PTSD, just remember that. Yes, he is ill, yes, he won't always know what he's doing, yes, he must take responsibility for his own actions though and seek help.
     
  5. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    Alienne,

    Welcome to the forum.......I lived with someone that has combat PTSD. I also have PTSD. At the time neither of us, had sought therapy. Ok, so it wasn't the best of relationships. We made it 7 yrs, before I moved out. I sought therapy, he still has not. He is a very angry man still. I actually walked away from our friendship for a yr, just recently got dragged back into it.

    Hopefully your hubby will seek treatment to work on his issues, so that supporting him will be easier on you.

    Hugs,

    Wendy
     
  6. Alienne

    Alienne Member

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    Hmmm...

    My husband is in fact getting therapy, as well as drug-treatment for his symptoms, but I´m afraid it´s not going too well at the moment. He got "stuck" when adressing a particularly difficult event that took place, perhaps some 15-20 years ago, and which has been haunting him badly all these years. He doesn´t seem to be able to forgive himself for his actions at that time, but keeps punishing himself on a daily basis and is incredibly depressed (despite medication), anxious, lethargic and stressed out, all at the same time, and just can´t seem to get any further. Has anyone have any experiences to share that are similar?
    Thanks again!
     
  7. Alienne

    Alienne Member

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    ...and I forgot to add in my previous post that I get counselling support weekly myself to cope with our lives!
     
  8. jeffp

    jeffp New Member

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    As a fellow veteran with severe PTSD he needs to get help for this. The best place to get started is to contact your local VA Medical Center or Vet Center in your area. From there they can link your family up with a local therapist who can help you all get things better. Getting into the VA Psychiatric system is a lot easier than it used to be and he could probably be evaluated within a few weeks of contact.
     
  9. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    Welcome Alienne. You're come to the right place. Much support to be had here. Delighted to hear your being proactive in taking care of your little one and getting help for yourself as well. Very important. Be sure to read in the Carers and Information sections.

    Jim.
     
  10. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    Alienne,

    We all get stuck. It's called not wanting to face it, because it's to painful. It a vicious cycle. We don't want to live like this, we want to get better. We try, and get to the point where the emotional pain is so great that we feel that we can't go on. So we suppress it... The cycle starts again.

    Depression, anger, self loathing, low self esteem, hatred, rage, flashbacks, nightmare, triggers, anxiety, panic,.....We have all been there, done that. Some still are.

    He has to want to do this more than anything else. It has to be 100% commitment from him. He has to face the most painful experiences he has had, and walk through them again. He has to feel the pain all over again. Experience it all over, in order to move forward.

    He has to understand all of his emotions, where they are coming from, and accept them and not fight them.

    This takes time, but he can do it. He just has to want it bad enough....

    Wendy
     
  11. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Welcome to the forum, Alienne. There's a lot of information and help for sufferers and families alike here.

    Lisa
     
  12. wildfirewildone

    wildfirewildone Well-Known Member

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    :thumbs-up Great to have you aboard!!! .....GIVE PEACE A CHANCE
     
  13. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

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    Welcome Alienne. Lovely to have you here. I am delighted to hear you are considering yourself and your baby in this equation. That is so very important, to get help for oneself as well as protecting your child! Your husband must want to help himself, he must be totally committed to his own healing. You cannot force him, that is his decision entirely. Perhaps though he requires a change of therapists and/or medication. Only he would know that for certain however. Please feel free to post in the Carers section, you are most welcome. Continue to take care of yourself and baby first, as that is very positive. Learn as much as you can about PTSD - the information sections upon this forum are a good place to start. That is the best way to be supportive.
     
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