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Hello New Here - Trauma As a Teen

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Ickle_nicki, Mar 22, 2007.

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  1. Ickle_nicki

    Ickle_nicki New Member

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    Hello, I have been reading the posts the last day or so, working up the courage to join.

    Well here i am, i have PTSD and depression

    Nicki
     
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  3. Ickle_nicki

    Ickle_nicki New Member

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    well then

    Answering myself after reading what i wrote, what a rubbish intro

    I'll try again

    My name is Nicki, i am from the Uk and live my husband of nearly 2 years, he is from the states and moved to the UK with me in May 2005.

    I have PTSD from trauma as a teen and have been doing ok, med free for the last year, but over the last week or so it has really hit me hard.

    So well here i am

    Nicki
     
  4. cookie

    cookie I'm a VIP

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    welcome to the forum, nicki. glad you're here.
     
  5. starshine

    starshine Active Member

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    Welcome Nicki! :)

    I also have [Complex] PTSD and depression. Yeah, and I'm also in the UK!
     
  6. Terry

    Terry Well-Known Member

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    Ello Nikie, welcome to the most wonderful bunch of NORMAL people you would ever want to be with. Stick around.
     
  7. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hello Nicki, welcome to the forum.
     
  8. GR-ass

    GR-ass Well-Known Member

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    heya Nikki, welcome hon

    cass
     
  9. willing

    willing Active Member

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    Welcome UK Nicki,
    What happened this last week that makes you want to check in? This is the most wonderful site. Lots of great stuff and folks who really care. It is good to find home in a place you can access 24/7.
    We care,
    Patty
     
  10. Ickle_nicki

    Ickle_nicki New Member

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    Thanks

    Thanks for the welcomes

    Just some triggers after being in my home town, has brought it all up. I struggled 3 years alone not working, not leaving my house, then I met my husband and just sort of pushed everything else away,

    I threw myself into work and to being a good wife, cleaning and cooking, keeping busy, not thinking. The dreams and flashbacks have continued, but i have just kept busy, not allowing myself to think. I am not doing a great job at it, i suddenly feel overwhelmed and well to be honest, traumatised. I seem to have been kidding myself the last year or so, thinking denial can make it go away.

    Looking back it has been bothering me over the last year, with the dreams, the flashbacks, and oh my such rages, for no reason... my poor husband. Remembering suddenly in the middle ofthe day, no idea what the trigger is, but rembering and feeling suffocated, like i have been winded, then just feeling horror, like i want to scream but i can't

    i'm rambling i think, i think it is time i went back to therapy.

    Thanks again for the welcomes
     
  11. willing

    willing Active Member

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    Nicki,
    All I can say is I relate. We are such persistant beings when it comes to strategies used to keep our feelings, symptoms and emotions stuffed. It works until it doesn't. Please stay with trying to get therapy. Anthony has such good "work through" stuff here too. I got caught up in trying to find a diagnosis for myself which after two months I think I have found. With that secured in my mind, somehow now I can finally start the work. I have only known about this site since late Jan and I can't say enough about it. Be brave and get the human help. We are the only ones who can really and ultimately save our own lives.

    See you around,
    Patty
     
  12. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Don't beat yourself up over this Nicki, it was merely a matter of time. Workaholism is an actual method of suppression, denial for a better term. We all do it, we all hit a point where our trauma grows stronger than we can cope, we all fall down. Its what we do at the point we fall down that is important. We can choose self pity, want sympathy, or we choose to do something about ourselves. I see you as the later, being to help yourself, and that alone deserves a huge well done. Many people don't find this path so easy, so you should be proud of yourself.

    The secret to it all now.... start getting this trauma out, begin tossing things around, looking at all aspects, really pull it apart, then see what comes out the other side. Yes, you will get sick doing this, but its a short term pain for long term gain, and its the only real way through this, nothing else will do it for you, sorry to say. There just isn't an easy route.
     
  13. Ickle_nicki

    Ickle_nicki New Member

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    Thanks Anthony

    I am not in work today, i needed some me time. I'm not new to therapy or keeping diaries, but i quit when i just couldnt talk, then got caught up in university, then marriage. I am 23 now, graduated with a good degree and have a good job, i put on a good show outwardly and succeed in work and studies by throwing my all into it. As you said, this is just another form of supression. It isn't going to go and i know that, but i didn't feel ready to deal. I think now i need to.

    I am spending today trying to organise some therapy. I need a new doctor first of all, i have recently moved area and my new doc is useless, says "you are too young to feel depression and ptsd" which i couldn't believe. So new doc, new psych and then hopefully therapy.

    Thanks for the warm welcomes

    Take care
    Nicki
     
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