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Help - learning to trust again?

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PocketoAlice

New Here
Trauma seems to boil down to a break in trust and the resulting damage. So how do you learn to trust (anyone - partners, general public, family, friends, etc.) again after being hurt?

Any answers are welcome, just looking for insight. :)
 
Trust is a difficult thing, I still struggle very much with trusting people. Sometimes when I am with a friend, I do a thing my therapist taught me, I find and focus on the things that make this person safe, trustworthy, and different from my abuser. For example, I think, this person is different from (abuser) because they_____. And then I focus on that and remind myself, this person is safe and is not going to hurt me, and just keep repeating that to myslef. After spending more time with people and getting to know them, it gets a lot easier. Setting boundaries and having them respected is another way of learning to trust people, even with little things, if you let them know something you are uncomfortable with (being touched etc.) and having that respected can make you feel even more secure around them.
 
It's a choice. And you will make mistakes. You will put your faith in the wrong people. And the right people will also let you down. Work on forgiving because you'll need that one way more. And I'm not talking about past trauma, you may not now or ever feel ready to forgive... but human beings currently in your life will let you down. You will let them down and it's all perfectly ok. Accept that and trust people anyway. You can stand up every time you stumble. That's just what I've learned.
 
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