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Helping Your Sufferer Through a Crisis

Discussion in 'Supporter Discussion' started by Kathy, Nov 13, 2007.

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  1. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

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    A question was asked in private carers regarding helping a sufferer when they are facing a crisis or very difficult situation which is making them ill. Unfortunately the question was misunderstood somewhat and the thread deviated from its original intent, which was to help the sufferer. I decided to begin a new thread here in the public area, as I believe it would be helpful for the sufferers to give input and ideas as well. Firstly, there are a few articles of interest regarding helping sufferers, located in the Carers information section, please read them:

    [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/forum43.html[/DLMURL]

    Addtionally, I will add my own thoughts briefly. When my sufferer is having a difficult time, my family and I basically do the following:

    1. Remove as many as many stressors as we can, for example:
    • keeping the noise level down in the house
    • placing a limit on visitors
    • taking messages so the sufferer need not speak to anyone unnecessarily
    • avoid confronting them about sensitive issues, unless absolutely necessary
    2. Lower our expectations of the sufferer, for example:
    • allowing them to sleep in or otherwise rest and not criticize them for it
    • allowing them a break from chores or household duties that are usually theirs
    • accepting their decisions, should they not wish to leave the house, go anywhere or speak with anyone
    • understanding should they wish to have a break from therapy and doctors
    • not pressuring them to talk about problems, before they are ready
    • not taking the situation personally
    3. Assist them to look after themselves, for example:
    • making sure they take their medications, eat healthy and get enough rest
    • be available to talk if they wish, though not forcing the issue
    • if there is something fun or distracing which they wish to do, encourage and enable them to do it, and do not judge them for "overdoing it"
    4. Watching for warning signs and taking appropriate action, for example:
    • watching for self-harm, severe dissociation, severe depression and so on
    • being familiar with the signs of an impending suicide, and having a action plan for taking the sufferer to the hospital if need be
     
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  3. Nicolette

    Nicolette ♡ Supporter Admin ♡ Supporter Admin Sponsor $100+

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    Very good points Kathy. Thank you
     
  4. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    5. Do not take out your disappointment on your loved one, for example:

    • You may have to cancel plans and rearrange schedules, do so without making a scene about it
    • Do not complain or stomp about when having to pick up extra slack in the house and yard
    • Do not keep score of what slack you picked up and then bring it up constantly
    • Do not gripe about how long it takes to get better or drop hints at the inconvenience this is causing
     
  5. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

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    Thank you for adding those points Bec, very good additions. Emotional abuse and manipulation is not good for anyone, let alone someone with PTSD. If anyone else, carer or sufferer, has points to add, please feel free to do so. That is the object of this thread, to share what has worked.
     
  6. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

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    Don't do what I did this morning, which is reprimand my daughter whilst she was in a fit of anger. Makes matter far worse. And Christ, I should know better by now.

    Jim.
     
  7. jods

    jods Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for doing this.
    I'm thinking of putting it in on my fridge at home so people will read & understand it.
     
  8. wildcritter44

    wildcritter44 Active Member

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    Letting them know they are LOVED NO MATTER WHAT

    If I missed this in the above posts, I am sorry.

    I think some of our suffers --don't feel like they deserve this love.

    THEY DO DESERVE TO BE LOVED !!!! :Hug_emoticon::Hug_emoticon:

    Hugs to you ALL.....

    Donna
    aka/wildcritter
     
  9. Sapper

    Sapper Active Member

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    Engage them in whatever they are interested in doing at the moment. Talk to them about their interests and do things with them that they find fun, if they're up to it. I try to have fun with my sister and make her laugh as much possible, even when she's in hospital. Hell no one feels like talking about serious shit all the time.
     
    Jim likes this.
  10. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

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    Thank you everyone for your contributions to this thread. I have now posted a revised version in the Carers Information section:

    [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread6323.html[/DLMURL]
     
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