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Hey Everybody, Just a Little Bit About Me

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Shazarabbit

New Here
Hey everyone,

I came across this site when i decided to research on the internet about some of the things i was feeling. Back in May my house caught on fire and i recieved third degree burns to my right arm from my shoulder to my fingers. Although i am extremely lucky that it was not as bad as it could have been, it doesn't mean that everything is all peachy.

There's not a night i don't close my eyes and feel the heat and the fear of that event. Everytime i lay in my bed and close my eyes its almost as if im going back to the moment before it all started. I keep reliving it and over analysing the situation. Which is what brought me here. I'm no doctor or psychiatrist so i cannot say what i have if i have anything at all. But i am hoping that perhaps by meeting people who are a bit like me i can help myself and others.

I am 19 years old and i live in Australia. I know i have some problems with my ability to cope with what happened. I was only 18 years old, it was my fault the kitchen caught on fire and its my fault i recieved third degree burns, i paniced and put oil that was on fire into running water. We have gas in our house and the emergency department told me to hang up and wait for someone to call me back.

If it wasn't for these two lovely strangers across the road, i wouldn't be alive today and my neighbours would be dead as well. It's extreme guilt i feel over the event, the stress i put everyone under its a bit hard to come to terms with. I try to put on a brave face for everyone. I don't think there is a single person who understands what its like in my mind. what fears i have when i set foot into the kitchen where it happened. It took over 4 months for the Housing Department (Governmental Housing) to come out and fix the kitchen, it used to be a constant reminder of the mistakes i made, Now that it has been fixed i am trying to help myself move on from this event. My arm has healed alot, i will know more at my next hospital appointment.

I look foreward to meeting each and everyone of you. I'd like to thank you all for listening (reading) about me.

Thank you for your time.


:hello:Shaz:hello:
 
Shaz, welcome to the forum. I hope you can learn to let go of some of the guilt while you are here.
 
Hey Shaz. Nice to meet you and welcome to the forum.

I have never been burnt but have had some fire issues myself. Our house burnt down when I was six. We (dad brother and I) thought my mom was in the house, and my mom thought we were in the house. not a great feeling. I still remember the flames and the smoke myself. I'm a little paranoid about fires now (well, i did have a furnace blow up on me too.. that wasn't fun). Do you check things to make sure everything is okay?

Bec

Use this tool to see if you fit the criteria for PTSD.. it should help give you some guidance...

[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/forms/ptsd-diagnosis/[/DLMURL]
 
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Hi Shaz.
Iam glad you are here. Take time with things, you need to try to get the better of this now, dont let it loose its self deep inside you. I have real triggers set of by burning smells. Smell has a direct root to the deepest part of your sub concious(sp). I dont know what else to say, I need to learn the same thing myself.

Good luck, welcome.

Borderline
 
You are all so kind :) In response to your comments.

I have not been diagnosed with it, i simply was looking up my paranoia of my stove because it was really beggining to bother me when i flinch if i smell something burning, i freeze like somethings been taken hold of me and i can't move. I found this forum, and i thought it'd be a good way for me to talk with others even if i don't have PTSD.

Smells do trigger it, as do loud noises that are similar to the sound of fire alarms and even fire trucks. My doctor wanted me to go to see a psychiatrists shortly after it happened because my boyfriend had been talking to her about my paranoia but im just not someone who can sit and talk about it that in person.

You guys are all great and i hope that we can all get through whatever it is we are going through whether it is PTSD related or not. :)
 
Shaz, I would take your doctor up on that offer and go and see one. Write out a list of your symptoms if you can't talk about it (that is what I have to do). Its normal to not want to talk about it.. many of us on here have an extremely hard time with that aspect.. You really need to find out for sure if this is PTSD or not, if it's not it can be curable.. which is a bonus.. think about it.

bec
 
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