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Sufferer Hi: Childhood Emotional Trauma/workplace Bullying

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Hello,

I'm male, and 43 years of age as this message is being posted. In long possession of a Complex P.T.S.D. diagnosis, although not at all certain how to compress so much into so little space. I have no real desire to expose others to secondary stress for providing analogous recital of vast unpleasantness experienced across many an uncontrollable circumstance. I've found myself triggered by frightening reportage surveyed here (though know if by some means or measure I could take it away from you each that I'd not hesitate to do so), whereas inviting a flood of traumatic recall via the composition of this introduction is again undesired.

There is no reward for public disclosure of what is experienced, what is uncontrollably recalled, what debilitates in circumstances both anticipated and not. Such a price paid to honor public decorum and not to speak! I look around and perceive what seems a 'Tyranny of the Normal People' existing in the everyday - or at least those who seem rewarded to the extent of having more or less survived a reasoned and normative coming of age tale to emerge into productive adulthood more or less intact. Kind-natured platitudes offered up to ease the experience of pain by demonstrably good people are patently inadequate when more detail is afforded, whereas most all of us are at pains to establish reasoned interpersonal boundaries concerning much.

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To the ability I am able, I will not disclose in detail my history, taking what solace I may for the analogous suffering of others plainly evident across multiple threads. To discover that just one other person has endured grave humiliation and life-threatening anxiety and despair it itself almost too much to bear. I didn't want any of this, I wish it not upon others, and yet such pressure if you will to identify and mobilize resources to afford focus and resolve when too often nothing at all is felt.

Speaking only for myself, it seems that chasing context and painful detail is, at some point, something of a dead end for many tales of horror will not soon creatively yield to be reconfigured into stories of life affirmation - at least as of yet! Although penning a coherent life narrative is important work, much of this effort has already been undertaken by this poster, with the more vital matter of living within the parameters of functionality that I have attracting greater personal interest. In short, this is my vulnerability, these are the rough parameters of my presentation and ability - where and what now?

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What is perhaps needed by this poster is a means to relate and report back discoveries made regarding academic literature, regarding clinical literature that could be the stuff of a P.T.S.D. life operator's manual from within the experience of Complex P.T.S.D. I count myself among the disenchanted who tire of reviewing works on the underlying dynamic of an evolutionary stress response gone off course, that focus so greatly upon identification of cases, but seemingly lack so much in relation to living within the condition; i.e. tools and approaches to self-care, negotiating what I'll term 'social space', and all manner of issues that speak of right occupational functioning and development of identity within an experience that 'one just can't speak of'. Thanks for your time and attention...

M.
 
Hi and welcome to the forum. It is nice to meet you.
 
Hi M,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

I believe as you read the threads and posts on this site, you will find there are many tools that people use to live with this disorder; and not just exist, but actually find enjoyment in their lives. Because we are all individuals, what works for one may not work as well for another; but there are so many ideas here you may find many things that are helpful to you.

Wishing you the best.

Debbie
 
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