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Sufferer Hi Everyone. I Am New Here. I Have Been Diagnosed With Ptsd Following A Betrayal By My Spouse

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My Husband of 25 years betrayed me several times over a 2 1/2 year period which I discovered in Oct 2012. I have had periods of depression on and off for at least 10 years and this has sent me over the edge.

I have been to 3 psychologists and my family Doctor that all diagnose PTSD. Getting to see a Pychiatrist is a 2 year wait!

I have been on Wellbutrin for about 7 months and I think it helps a bit. I am filling a prescription today to start Paxil as well. Hoping for some relief from the pain and anxiety.
 
Infidelity. First an emotional affair with an old girlfriend. Then random sex hook ups, and finally an ad placed on Craigslist for "someone to talk to". He continued to meet with a whore he met there several times a week for sex for 6 months until I found a text on his phone. He admitted to the emotional affair and hook ups 2 months later right before I made him take a lie detector test.
 
I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you... was your husband also threatening or abusive? I only ask because PTSD develops after life threatening events, or situations where one feels trapped and powerless, such as sexual assault, being held captive / hostage. It triggers your body to be thrown into fight or flight mode because the threat to your body / life keep happening over and again, even when logically you are safe from harm, everything in your body says you are not.

And please dont think I am undermining your experience, my ex cheated on me, and when we broke up I had a meltdown that lasted for 2 years. But it wasnt what caused my PTSD, rather it was what put me over the edge due to what had happened to me in the past and I was unable to cope with stress anymore...it just spilled out and I havnt been able to bottle it all back up again.

That you were diagnosed leads me to believe that while this situation catapulted you, there are deeper things going on. Its great to hear that you are in therapy and I really do hope that the meds help you as well!
 
My husband was not threatening or abusive. Exactly the opposite actually. He is a warm, fun loving person and until a few years ago he was "perfect" in my view. A great Father, a loving person that has always been there for me. He has told me many times in our marriage that he "worships" me.

My underlying issue seems to stem from a fear of abandonment. My Mother was manic depressive and my siblings and I basically raised our selves. My Dad did the best he could but he worked shift work and we were alone a lot. My Mother walked out on our family several times during my childhood. She would come back only to leave again a couple years later. We had no idea about her depression until she died in 2000 and an aunt filled me in.

I have been reading a lot about being raised without any emotional attachment.

My therapist believes that because my Husband has been the only person I have ever had a true connection with, someone I could trust blindly, someone that loved me unconditionally, that the shock of his betrayals is what has pushed me into this PTSD state.

I can't stop the mind movies of him being with other people. I feel the same shock and pain any time a "trigger" comes up to remind me. Even the smallest details can send me into a deep depression for a couple days where I can't get out of bed.

He has been going to counselling as well to figure out how he could do these things and the answer seems to be that he was suffering his own depression in the last few years brought on by far too much stress, at work and apparently with me. He felt "unloved".

And That, only makes me feel worse because basically he is saying that because I didn't "show him enough love, and wasn't able to comfort him", that he went down this horrible path of destruction.
 
Ok I understand a bit better. Your PTSD comes from your bad childhood and was triggered into being full blown by your husband's infidelities.
 
Only have this to say, besides Welcome..... you are NOT the reason he did what he did. HE is the reason he did what he did... He could have come to you at any point and told you he felt his needs were not being met. He did what he did because he could. I pray that you get the help you deserve... I was betrayed in all three of my marriages.. in my case, I understand now why I chose those men to begin with... But you have been with him for 20+ years..... mine never lasted longer than 10. My heart hurts for you and I do understand.. You are not alone.
 
Welcome to the forums.

I'm truly sorry for what you went through, it's awful to lose a personb that you trusted, especially in such a way.

Sending warm :hug:s and hopefully you get better
 
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