lisontheloose
New Here
Hi there all. I've actually been reading this forum on and off for a few years but just decided to make an account and join the discussion. I'm a 20 year old film major attending a small private college close to home. I suffer from self-diagnosed PTSD. I believe I was sexually assaulted as a child by my best friend's father. In addition, I was raped last November by a close family friend. With the 1-year anniversary of that approaching, I've been having more and more panic attacks and dissociative episodes. I also suffer from bipolar disorder, general anxiety, and an EDNOS. My PTSD tends to mix with and influence all these other facets of my mental illness. I've opened up to a few close friends about last November but it's hard for me to talk about and I feel ashamed of how poorly I am doing mentally. In a way I just want everyone to think I'm fine and leave me alone. But I also know that I have two more years of college left and at this rate I won't be able to stay and graduate. I can barely even hear frat guys drinking and yelling without having a flashback. I'm in a group that tours around a lot to other colleges and I often have to stay in houses with all drunk, college-aged men and this getting harder and harder for me. Sorry to ramble on a little. I'm happy to meet all of you and I hope coming here will help a little! If anyone has any grounding/calming techniques for when you feel the panic coming on, I would appreciate that.