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Dizzle

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Hello :) My name is Randi, friends call me Dizzle. I am 30 years old, and currently in a relationship with a 32 year old Iraq combat vet with PTSD. I joined this site to gain some insight on our first "shut out" experience, but have decided to remain as a member after this hard time passes in order to gain further insight that may help our relationship along down the road. While we may still be in the early stages of our relationship, I have definitely found "My Person," and will do anything I can to help myself, him, and our relationship flourish.

I also have some minor issues of my own; I have battled with depression, although I have healthyish coping methods to deal. My biological father also bailed on me when I was 13, throw in a few bad relationships, and I have a slight abandonment issue that I am currently working on.

I am VERY horrible at talking about myself without a direct question, so any questions at all, I am open to respond. :)
 
First off welcome to the forum. Second, if you have abandonment issues be prepared for a bumpy ride, as one of the symptoms that goes along with PTSD is isolation and sometimes it can look pretty ugly, grim, and hopeless. I'm not saying this to scare you, more so to make you aware so you can start to work on that aspect of yourself before you get stuck because we've all been there. I am a combat vet with PTSD so I also welcome any questions you may have; I may not be able to answer them specifically but am more than willing to give insight when I can. I hope you are well right now.
 
First off welcome to the forum. Second, if you have abandonment issues be prepared for a bumpy rid...
@Florian7051 I am actually experiencing our very first isolation phase in our relationship right now. The full story is in another thread here: https://www.myptsd.com/threads/boyfriend-with-ptsd-wants-a-break.62191/

I definitely do welcome any insight, or even just someone who understands to talk to. My friends and family don't understand very well, and think that staying and supporting him is just rewarding "bad behavior." I know they mean well, they have just never had to deal with it before.
 
Just read the other thread and it definitely sounds like you are in a tough spot. I don't know that I agree with your "friends and family" that he is being a "jerk". It is very possible that things got heated during your conversation and that caused him to blow up (he is responsible for his actions I'm not implying it was your fault) all I'm saying is it takes 2 to argue and blame probably fell a little bit on each of you. When I am isolating I feel as if my wife and kids would be better off without me (if that makes sense). If this is how he's feeling you may not be able to get through to him right now. You may just need to give him time and space to work it out for himself. Really the only thing you can do is apologize for putting the pressure on and tell him how important he is to you. I hope this helps. If you truly feel as if he isn't done and over with the relationship, then you are probably right (you are a lot closer to it than anyone else, and you should be able to sense things like that). The best thing you can do is give him time and space.
 
Just read the other thread and it definitely sounds like you are in a tough spot. I don't know tha...

@Florian7051 Good lord, THANK YOU!! I have been trying to say that it takes two to argue, and that I may have a little bit of fault in it as well, and EVERYONE is lecturing me for taking the blame for a normal human response. While that may be true, they just don't want to get it. I did send him a message early this morning saying that I was sorry for freaking out, I loved him, and whenever he was ready, I would be here for him. He read it about 45 minutes later, but never responding. The great thing I'm gathering is that this isn't personal, and probably didn't start with me. I just may have exacerbated the situation. So happy to finally find an outlet with people who understand and can give much needed insight when needed.
 
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