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Sufferer Hi, I'm Homeless And Have Had To Cut Ties With Everyone

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ambergrass

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um, i just wanted to say hello really. im not very good at introductions.

im living in england, and i have ptsd from familial abuse and a separate rape. ive been homeless since last march, when i was forced to flee my house and cut all contact with anyone. im 18. since then i tried to do my a levels again but it didnt work out due to living in a shelter at the same time and ptsd mucking me around and i tried to kill myself and i had to drop out. im living in a different, quieter building run by the same shelter currently and i should be okay for the next year or so just here i think at least, and i plan on not worrying about education for the time being as im on ESA or something.

im on zoloft 100mg a day but it doesnt seem to be working as ive attempted twice again in the past month alone and my doctor tried putting me on cbt but i refuse to do any more talking nonsense as ive done them for years and they solve not much of anything in my experience.

i didnt know if anyone on here would be able to relate or if this would be a good idea to just pour out my sob story or anything. if you read this thank you and i hope you have a nice day. im still not entirely sure how to talk about my experiences without them comingoff as a giant woe-is-me pitymongering thing so im sorry about that.
 
Welcome to the forum ambergrass.
my doctor tried putting me on Link Removed but i refuse to do any more talking nonsense as ive done them for years and they solve not much of anything in my experience.
I used to feel this way about talk therapy too. I think it's a good idea to make sure that your therapist specializes in trauma. My current therapist is a trauma specialist, and he has me doing exercises, and he has me practice stuff, and it's the first time that I've had a therapist that give me tools that I feel are really helping me make some gains. In the past, therapists would just listen with compassion, and that is not enough for CPTSD or PTSD. Our condition does require therapy, and having the right kind of therapist is crucial, as I'm now learning. It's okay to need help...humans need one another.

I'm really glad that you joined us. There is a lot of information here that will help you understand what your are experiencing, and there are a lot of wonderful supportive people here as well.
 
thank you for the reply, this means a lot. i think i probably should give it another go but the city im in is very small and my lack of stable address means i can only apply to the one doctors, and the only person who offers cbt there is the kind of person who tells you to listen to whale music when youre having a panic attack, or tells you the cure for insomnia is like, putting lavender on your pillow (im sure you know the type lol!). but youre right i definitely should try it again i think.

id heard good things about this site from a friend. thank you for being so welcoming. ill try and post here some more. sincerely thank you so much.
 
I was homeless for 3 years, from Apr. 2002 to Aug 2004. I begged in the streets for some of it, so I could pay for a cheap motel. My boyfriend raped me one night, and woke me out of a sound sleep to do so, when I said I didn't feel well. I tried to stop him, but lost the battle.

Anyway, I can relate to your story, and I did have one suicide attempt too.

I'm glad you are in a shelter. I got kicked out of shelters, as I did not have a job and was applying for government assistance. I have never been able to hold down a job my whole life. I have Bipolar as well as the PTSD from childhood abuse and molestation too.

I don't think you sounded like you were having a pity party. You mentioned that things were going better now a bit by saying you asre in a shelter and that you are going to be OK there for another yr. That is a hopeful thing in my eyes.

CBT did help me, but it took about 5 yrs of it to do so. I'd suggest keeping at it, and hopefully your Dr. can find the right medicines for you with time. If the Zoloft isn't the right one, some other med might be good. Be sure to tell him that the Zoloft isn't working and ask if he can prescribe something else. I would. I am on Elavil. That one seems to be helping, but Zoloft didn't do much for me either.
 
:hug:Ambergrass:hug:
Welcome to the forum....here's a couple hugs if you don't mind them. I just want to say that I am sorry that life is SO hard for you right now. It's sounds like you have a place to live for now, and that is good news. Just having a bed, and a stable place to stay helps a lot.

Please don't think that telling your story is a "sob story" or pity mongering! The truth is the truth, and not "woe-is-me". It is the truth and you have a right to tell it. Life CAN get better as long as you don't give up! it sounds like things have happened TO you, and NOT of your own doing, and you sound like a very nice person that life has 'thrown' bad parenting, and a horrible man. Being on your own can be a good thing. Being surrounded by toxic people is much worse. I know that sometimes it seems easier to give up, but when I wanted to die, it was really that I did't want to hurt any longer. There is a difference.

You have found a very special place here at the forum! You will find compassion, empathy, and people who really care and will listen with open hearts and not judge you in any way. I have met very special people here, and telling your story can be VERY healing! There are people who will relate completely to what you are saying, and you never know when someone will say exactly what you need to hear.

Please give life a chance, and CBT isn't all bad, because 'releasing' the words and feelings to someone can be very healing. Just having someone who listens and cares (being a therapist is difficult, and I think it requires people who care). You are cared about here, so please come and get to know people just a little, letting out what you feel.

You can have a diary as well, just to write down what is in your head YOU ARE IMPORTANT!!! YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY!!! You are alive after attempting to end things, so there IS a reason or reasons why you are still alive and able to come here to talk about you and your heart and soul!

Blessings to you, and I hope to see you around the forum. You can read about people who have survived, and about other's who are still fighting the fight for health. It is MORE than okay to share yourself and your life story.

Take good care of YOU!
AKJ:hug:
 
@ambergrass Welcome to the forum!

You may want to check out some of the threads on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) as the goal of this therapy is to change maladaptive thinking patterns. It is not "talk therapy" in the traditional sense and when taught and used properly can really help a person with PTSD. I agree with other members that having a therapist that specializes in trauma is best as they may use therapies more effectively.

I hope you find the information and support here beneficial to your healing.
 
Hello ambergrass, Warmth welcome to the forums. I agree with posters above. Hope you are having good day over there. :)
 
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