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Hi - PTSD from Being in a Cult

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two_isles

New Here
hi.
a friend of mine referred me here, as she has PTSD herself.
I was involved with a group, what I know now, as a cult for the last 18 years.
8 years ago, I was raped at one of the "wine ceremony initiations".
I had what I call, my "day of awakening" March 30 of this year, and I went into an episode of which I thought I was going to go crazy.
I was offered exit counseling by one of the top exit counselers in the nation. Oddly enough, a small documentary film production wanted to film it, as an exit counseling had never been on tape before. So I agreed. That was in May.
The filming was fine.
What has NOT been fine is that me, in particular, and former cult members are being continually harassed through 1) a message board for former group members 2) I get snears and followed around town (very small town) and some nasty phone calls 3) the local reactions to recent newspaper articles because we had a gathering of former members just 2 weeks ago and had educational speakers present, and I also got brave enough to speak about my time in that coersive persuasive group (even though I did not name names).
My house is about to close, as I need to get the h&^% out of here.
But it is very difficult to go to town. So I try to keep it to a minimum.
I have been endeavoring to educate the psychiatrist, the therapist and the doctors, and now SSI about the effects of cults, but only one of these persons is responsive (the therapist).
I totally dissed the shrinks perscriptions as they REALLY made me feel worse than I already did.
So now I am working out 4-5 days a week, taking some Superfood supplements, and reading (I can now read for 15 minutes at a time) and posting like a madwoman.
Most days it helps, other days, it is not so good.
I did not realize how much my life has been affected by PTSD.
I feel like a total jerk when I have a blowup with my partner because a trigger gets snapped and I go off, and often cannot even remember what happended. If it were not for the PTSD, I think things would be hunky dorey in that department.
I really like to work, but have been mentally and emotionally unable to work since this all unfolded.
I tried (humbly) to apply for SSI, but they just told me to get a job not around people:wall::dontknow:.
There just seems to be not enough education , particularly in the professional fields, much less the general population concerning PTSD, anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder.
Plus there seems to be a stigma attached that all PTSDers are less than intelligent.
I find that highly ignorant!:crazy:
Anyway, I have been reading various posts here and just decided to register.
Any other useful information would be highly accepted as I don't want this to run my life.
Thanks for reading....

two
 
Welcome. Your experiences with the mental health field are unfortunately very common. PTSD seems alien to many of these folks. Welcome. You'll get alot from this site.
 
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