hi.
a friend of mine referred me here, as she has PTSD herself.
I was involved with a group, what I know now, as a cult for the last 18 years.
8 years ago, I was raped at one of the "wine ceremony initiations".
I had what I call, my "day of awakening" March 30 of this year, and I went into an episode of which I thought I was going to go crazy.
I was offered exit counseling by one of the top exit counselers in the nation. Oddly enough, a small documentary film production wanted to film it, as an exit counseling had never been on tape before. So I agreed. That was in May.
The filming was fine.
What has NOT been fine is that me, in particular, and former cult members are being continually harassed through 1) a message board for former group members 2) I get snears and followed around town (very small town) and some nasty phone calls 3) the local reactions to recent newspaper articles because we had a gathering of former members just 2 weeks ago and had educational speakers present, and I also got brave enough to speak about my time in that coersive persuasive group (even though I did not name names).
My house is about to close, as I need to get the h&^% out of here.
But it is very difficult to go to town. So I try to keep it to a minimum.
I have been endeavoring to educate the psychiatrist, the therapist and the doctors, and now SSI about the effects of cults, but only one of these persons is responsive (the therapist).
I totally dissed the shrinks perscriptions as they REALLY made me feel worse than I already did.
So now I am working out 4-5 days a week, taking some Superfood supplements, and reading (I can now read for 15 minutes at a time) and posting like a madwoman.
Most days it helps, other days, it is not so good.
I did not realize how much my life has been affected by PTSD.
I feel like a total jerk when I have a blowup with my partner because a trigger gets snapped and I go off, and often cannot even remember what happended. If it were not for the PTSD, I think things would be hunky dorey in that department.
I really like to work, but have been mentally and emotionally unable to work since this all unfolded.
I tried (humbly) to apply for SSI, but they just told me to get a job not around people:wall::dontknow:.
There just seems to be not enough education , particularly in the professional fields, much less the general population concerning PTSD, anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder.
Plus there seems to be a stigma attached that all PTSDers are less than intelligent.
I find that highly ignorant!:crazy:
Anyway, I have been reading various posts here and just decided to register.
Any other useful information would be highly accepted as I don't want this to run my life.
Thanks for reading....
two
a friend of mine referred me here, as she has PTSD herself.
I was involved with a group, what I know now, as a cult for the last 18 years.
8 years ago, I was raped at one of the "wine ceremony initiations".
I had what I call, my "day of awakening" March 30 of this year, and I went into an episode of which I thought I was going to go crazy.
I was offered exit counseling by one of the top exit counselers in the nation. Oddly enough, a small documentary film production wanted to film it, as an exit counseling had never been on tape before. So I agreed. That was in May.
The filming was fine.
What has NOT been fine is that me, in particular, and former cult members are being continually harassed through 1) a message board for former group members 2) I get snears and followed around town (very small town) and some nasty phone calls 3) the local reactions to recent newspaper articles because we had a gathering of former members just 2 weeks ago and had educational speakers present, and I also got brave enough to speak about my time in that coersive persuasive group (even though I did not name names).
My house is about to close, as I need to get the h&^% out of here.
But it is very difficult to go to town. So I try to keep it to a minimum.
I have been endeavoring to educate the psychiatrist, the therapist and the doctors, and now SSI about the effects of cults, but only one of these persons is responsive (the therapist).
I totally dissed the shrinks perscriptions as they REALLY made me feel worse than I already did.
So now I am working out 4-5 days a week, taking some Superfood supplements, and reading (I can now read for 15 minutes at a time) and posting like a madwoman.
Most days it helps, other days, it is not so good.
I did not realize how much my life has been affected by PTSD.
I feel like a total jerk when I have a blowup with my partner because a trigger gets snapped and I go off, and often cannot even remember what happended. If it were not for the PTSD, I think things would be hunky dorey in that department.
I really like to work, but have been mentally and emotionally unable to work since this all unfolded.
I tried (humbly) to apply for SSI, but they just told me to get a job not around people:wall::dontknow:.
There just seems to be not enough education , particularly in the professional fields, much less the general population concerning PTSD, anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder.
Plus there seems to be a stigma attached that all PTSDers are less than intelligent.
I find that highly ignorant!:crazy:
Anyway, I have been reading various posts here and just decided to register.
Any other useful information would be highly accepted as I don't want this to run my life.
Thanks for reading....
two