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Hi There, A Newbie From New South Wales (NSW)

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by katobrie, Dec 13, 2006.

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  1. katobrie

    katobrie New Member

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    Hi there
    I'm not really sure where I belong but i need to talk. I looked at the trauma diaries and decided that wasn't the right place. so hopefully here is.
    I have been married to G for 7 years. Second marriage for both of us. My first husband was a policeman and with hindsight maybe a sufferer also of PTSD. The marriage ended when at 4months pregnant with our second child he cheated on me and subsequently left me. It was a very difficult time for me and resulted in me suffereing a stress induced stroke. Anyway got better and had a beautiful baby boy and a messy divorce. 13 months later i met G. I wasn't sure at first because he "Wasn't my type" but he won me over.
    Looking back I see things so much more clearly. I feel quite betrayed by him as he lied such a lot in that wooing
    stage of our relationship. I knew he was ex-army and he would often talk about flashbacks, there were also back injuries and he was a litle pedantic.
    His first marriage collapsed after he was jailed for murder, after killing his wife's drug dealer. She was a heavy addict and judging by scars on his arms i think he dabbled. He served 4 years due to "extreme orovocation" and I met him about 18 months later.
    He had been in the army for 13 years and was discharged due to his pending court case. He also lost custody of his children to their maternal grandparents.
    We went through some very rough patches where he would use self destructive behaviours to hurt our marriage.
    Can't do this, is this too much
    We are now in the midst of a drama. After finding an email I discovered G had cheated on me. Twice. About 5 years ago. 5 years ago. But then last christmas he contacted this woman again and told her he is always thinking of her. I couldn't believe it, of all tht things to do.. to me.. I told him that was it, but then 24 hours later my 82 year old granma was diagnosed with breast cancer and off i went to Perth. Why does that always happen, why couldn't we just deal with it without outside interruptions. not my Grandma's fault i know. My mum has blown her fuse and G won't be joining us in Perth for christmas. How can i continue in this marriage, how can i teach mydaughter when I continue to put up with this stuff. he has hurt me badly in the past and always comes back saying how sorry he is and it'll never happen again and how he wants to be with me.
    I feel awful now, i've deleted this and rewritten it 3 times now so a rest is needed...
     
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  3. nov_silence

    nov_silence Well-Known Member

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    Welcome. I am proud of you for sharing all that you did. Keep coming back. We are listening, sweetie.
     
  4. cookie

    cookie I'm a VIP

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    welcome, kat. read some and see how similar things are for many. most marriages suffer because of ptsd.
    cathy
     
  5. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Katobrie, welcome to the forum. Never a nice thing, and certainly not nice for you to find out this way. So sorry.
     
  6. jade

    jade Active Member

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    Katobrie,
    Hello, I wanted to let you know that I can totally relate to your current drama. Similar situation with my husband.
     
  7. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Katobrie,

    I had to rewrite my first post a few times, too. Tough...but worth it. This is a good place to learn to heal.

    Welcome.
     
  8. GR-ass

    GR-ass Well-Known Member

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    Hey Kat
    *hugs tightly*
    welcome hon.
    cass
     
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