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Housing trouble

Discussion in 'Dysregulation' started by Rad, Nov 11, 2017.

  1. Rad

    Rad I am not PTSD.

    I put this in "dysregulation" because I have trouble living with others. I hope it´s the correct forum.

    I would like to ask for some advice and support. You can provide constructive criticism, but please be gentle as I´m still mourning the loss of someone I loved, and dealing with triggered PTSD due to a confrontation with my abuser.

    The situation is like this. I am moving out because over the three years that I have lived here, I have sometimes had anxiety attacks. When in severe anxiety I usually feel like I´m in danger - and react by getting angry, swearing and throwing things.

    I know that this is not okay. Depending on the day I can apply some techniques to handle the situation. When I can, I go outside, I practice mindfulness, try calming myself, and practice sports. But I´m not an ubermensch. Sometimes I still "lose it" inside the house.

    My housing situation is not good. My house mates live in general disregard for other people - they have shown this by just leaving their garbage for other people to clean up. Recently they also stole two of my bicycles. They falsely accuse me of things I did not do.

    Each house mate has their own studio in this house, which has it´s own landlords. There are five landlords that are "in charge", including mine. My landlord understands my situation very well, she handles people who have PTSD in daily life.

    She understands that I am not easy to live with, and on the other hand she also understands that my house mates generally are not very easy to live with either. But she is being bullied by the other four landlords to "fix the situation".

    Which means that every time a complaint is filed against me - whether it is true or not - they will be on my back and telling me that I need to have a "talk" with them, which usually results in me getting a humiliating sermon and no real change.

    My PTSD is caused by people being overly controlling of my life when I was a kid, and constantly monitoring what I was doing. Back then severe violence and verbal abuse was used to keep me under control. Now there is no violence but I feel the same way.

    Being under constant supervision and being forced to comply with their humiliating sermons causes me to have intrusive thoughts/emotions which in turn make my anxiety worse, in turn making me act out worse during anxiety, resulting in them coming down on me even harder.

    I truly am trying to get a new place. But in the meantime I have to try and retain my sanity so as not to end up in the hospital. I´ve lost 7kg (15.4 lbs) and already was bordering on underweight. I need to draw some lines and protect my wellbeing.

    I´ve already told them that I needed space, and that the talks were not helping. When they did not respect this, I have put an email filter in place so I don´t receive their email anymore. But I just don´t know what to do if they keep badgering me.

    I already am trying very hard to find a new place to live. I´ve offered to talk about the situation with my house mates and explain it to them. That is all I can do, but it´s never enough for them.

    Thank you for reading and for any support.
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  3. shimmerz

    shimmerz My silence spoke a thousand words you never heard Premium Member

    No advice Rad, I am sorry, because I am in the same position (different reactions). I am still finding my way through. I just wanted you to know that I understand.
  4. Rain

    Rain Believe the children Premium Member

    I am sorry that you are dealing with so much at this time. I hope that you can find a new and better place to live and experience some real peace. Thinking of you.:hug:
  5. Anarchy

    Anarchy I'm a VIP

    Hi Rad,
    I don't have advice, just kind thoughts for you
  6. bento

    bento Active Member

    That really sucks Rad. Sounds like mobbing behavior, no wonder you feel triggered.
    Hope you can find a cool place soon to move into . Cool roomies are the best.
    Hope you can find that or may be just a place of your own. That can be great too.
    Best of luck!! Hang in there!
    Rain, Anarchy, Rad and 2 others like this.
  7. Finchlet2

    Finchlet2 Active Member

    RAAH! The constant dram a that is keep in a suitable (or just any roof over your head) GRrrr
    Rain, Anarchy and Rad like this.
  8. Rad

    Rad I am not PTSD.

    Agree! :) Thanks for the support @ all above
    Rain and Anarchy like this.
  9. Xena

    Xena Active Member

    Hi @Rad... It's awful.... Your home.... Should be a place of peace,and comfort.... Try if you can to focus on getting a new place....

    Can you get a place on your own rad?. Maybe it would help.... And in the meantime.... Don't let them get to you..... they don't seem to have alot of compassion... It will get better... Time and shifting your focus to moving...
    Rain, Anarchy and Rad like this.
  10. Rain

    Rain Believe the children Premium Member

    Thinking of you and wishing for you a good day with new leads to hopefully take you to the place that you will love and enjoy and feel accepted.
    Anarchy, Xena and Rad like this.
  11. Rad

    Rad I am not PTSD.

    I found a new place :)

    It´s kind of shitty, which is why it was easy to get :wacky:. But it´s really cheap and practically next to the aeroclub.
    There is also tons of forests nearby which I love. And a direct train connection to the city.

    If it turns out to be crap, there is only a six month mandatory stay, so I can continue my housing hunt from there.
    Xena likes this.
  12. Xena

    Xena Active Member

    Hi @Rad I'm so pleased for you... Sounds really good..... Enjoy..
    Rad and Rain like this.
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