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How can i trust t again

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I was hurt past in the past by therapists, including one who was in over their head.

My therapist now? She told me from day one I didn’t have to trust her, and frankly, she expected that for awhile I wouldn’t, and that there would be times distrust would come back up. Then she said,“But I am still going to stay in the room try to help.”

Just by exploring this issue about your old and new therapist, you are doing some good work.

Trust also doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I trust my therapist in some ways, and not others - but we work through it to figure out what we can work on together.
 
My first T left in a bad way. She was actually doing what was best for me and my recovery. She originally said that she does trauma work, but now that I am with the trauma emdr therapist that she sent me to, I realize how I should see her leaving as a blessing. The only problem was that she didn’t do any of the stuff she agreed to do for me in the transitional process. I now realize that my requests were kind of weird, like attend the first session with me and share my story with the new t so that she would have background ahead of time. (There may be ethical stuff involved there, but the center works as a team on patients)

The worst part is that she left when I was struggling and the new T couldn’t get me in for about 3 weeks. And then had another 2 week break after our first appointment. I think that my first T should have continued with me in between sessions, but she was never one to teach me tools and grounding which is what I needed at the moment. My new T even did more in that regard on our first scheduling phone call. She was out of town and still took the time to listen to me, she gave me tools, and also validated how I was feeling. So I am much better off now, but we spend much of our trauma work on betrayal and abandonment. She is fully aware of my fear that she will leave. It is hard when seemingly good people hurt you in your past. It amplifies the hurt that present day people (that are really just people, not predators/abusers) cause.
 
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