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How Did You Learn To Fight Back?

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Bristol

MyPTSD Pro
i have been having therapy for csa for about 5 months now and i havent felt like i have made much progress in it. Whenever i go in i am constantly fighting her and holding back. Whenever i think about the mountain i have ahead of me in terms of recovery i have a voice in my head telling how unfair it is i have to deal with this and that i cant and i wont do it. Has anyone else been through this? How did you convince yourself that it was ok to fight back against what happened?
 
Well I've had a lot of therapy, none of it really helped me

What has helped is - this forum, the peer support here

-loads of self care
-do things I really enjoy - drawing, painting, listening to music, photography
-deep relaxation
-focusing on positive memories, thoughts and goats for the future
-developing self worth through doing things I am good at

You didn't deserve the abuse, no child does :hug:
 
Whenever i think about the mountain i have ahead of me in terms of recovery i have a voice in my head telling how unfair it is i have to deal with this and that i cant and i wont do it.
The time will pass no matter what. So what do I want at the end of 1 year, 5 years, 50 years? The mountain ahead of me, or the mountain behind me?

It's not a question of what's fair. It's a question of what do I want?
 
We have to fight back against what others did to us for our own well-being. Yes, I go back and forth about moaning that they all did this crap to me and now I'm the one left to clean up the mess. As sad as that is, it's the reality. And I wasn't going to get any better unless I faced that and said, yeah, those assholes did that to me, and yes, it's totally not fair, but fact is, I'm the one left to clean up the mess, and I gotta do it for my own sake, because no one else can.

Whew, sorry for the somewhat profane rant. It's straight from the heart. I hope it helps. I'm still.struggling, too, 10 years on in my diagnosis, so don't feel bad.
 
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