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How Did You Sleep Last Night?

Wicked bad! Have stopped any/all meds except levothyroxine (for thyroid) because body feels like it's trying to shut down; everything is screwed up in body since initiating then halting permanently now EMDR! Now, I'm only averaging for the past three nights maybe 3 hrs. sleep, SCARY! Have appointment on 5/22 with g.p. Was in e.r. week before last and said liver ok (although I never saw any liver enzymes blood work (ALT/AST) in paperwork! Liver (fatty) is throbbing on r/side (again) and thought I'd conquered this issue, NO! Colon (had major surgery 7/6) constipated and throughout EMDR was not eating properly for years ago dx's fatty liver and now OMG this issue has reared it's ugly head again, for I've been down this horrible road before and know the symptoms, due to poor food choices while enduring EMDR post sessions fallout (horrible symptoms i.e. extreme paranoia and panic, all of it.

I still have panic and fear just seems to be backing down a bit also I now from experience believe strongly that too many sessions and too long, and too close to EMDR machine can harm an individual and this is MY EXPERIENCE! Just like too much freaking ice cream, too many Oreo's heck even too much of ANYTHING is bad for the body, mind, etc. And I believe the same goes for EMDR sessions. There's a cap a freaking limit on what each flipping individual's mind and body can absorb and endure during each session (accumulative affect). I am not on any mission to change or alter anyone's experience and opinion re: EMDR. I'm just venting here. Unable to sleep hardly at all, all 5 senses are heightened to the max! Headaches, and I had back and foot pain but nothing like this poo prior to EMDR! All senses are heightened like I took a powerful mind-altering freaking drug or something! And I hope to God this is not permanent and I hope I haven't damaged my liver thus colon, etc. ad infinitum permanently either

For it seems like every system in my body has been horribly affected and I'm trying to deal with my body and mind trying to shut down on me! Can't describe this hockey any better; am desperately trying to slowly but steadily and naturally (foods, supplementation, etc.) abate all of these freaking physiological symptoms away i.e. gas, bloating, nausea, disoriented, fatigue, swollen liver - throbbing! five senses maxed out and causing me to panic (and I'm fighting panic and palps, and heart feeling like it's beating out of my ever loving chest! OMG! I hate EMDR - yes, it numbed (desensitized) many violent trauma event memories however, this price post sessions is too big of a freaking price to have to pay! TOO HIGH A PRICE!

I miss sleeping and feeling at least some rested, now I feel like a freaking cat on a HOT tin roof, literally. JJ
 
Would you mind @DharmaGirl sharing what you medicine you are taking for nightmare sleep aid, please? Hope your eye is healing good from cataract surgery. Thank you. JJ
 
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I napped waaayyy to long yesterday in the early afternoon which made it difficult to go to sleep last night (had to take difenhydramine) x 2 last night (grrr); will try to not take such a long nap this day and perhaps no nap at all, shall see. Then will try and not have to succumb to taking difen. again, and just take the melatonin, and the magnesium, etc. :confused:
 
I have a depressive mood lately so I go to bed around 3 a.m. Last night I had usual nightmares about being lost, trapped and of course about dead bodies (have absolutely no idea why I've been having this 'dead bodies' issue since my earliest childhood), a few half-conscious night terrors (fortunately mum had a deep sleep and can’t recall me screaming) and a dream about my late father. A night before I had also those night terrors – quite violent, my mother usually doesn’t enter my room when I have my terrors but that time she did – I couldn’t wake up fully so my mind continued to hallucinate, I tried very hard to overcome my panic attack and crying, had a problem with hyperventilating but managed to repeat many times “please leave” until she left my room. I might have done something to her if she had touched me. Funny thing is I was ‘experiencing’ things that never happened to me yet I was terrified as hell. I wonder how I will explain that when I’ll be abroad in a few days. I can’t even explain it to my ow mother and answer the basic question ‘why’.

I haven’t had such terrible nights for years, I’ve started to be even more clumsy and forgetful during a day. I shouldn’t have started the diary, I must stop thinking about things or I will lose my mind. Feel so ashamed. I’ve decided I will never think about that anymore, time to focus on the future. I know now that fortunately I don’t have ptsd or anything like this, I’m fine – I’m just thinking too much. It’s probably depression kicking. Reading this forum helped me to realize it, so no more dwelling on the subject :)
 
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