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How Do You Change Your Ways For The Better?

Discussion in 'General' started by wadoo, Mar 22, 2007.

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  1. wadoo

    wadoo Active Member

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    Hi.

    I'm having a crappy, pissed off piece crap dammmmm of a day!!!

    I hate my head.

    I drink too much and smoke and have all good intentions of quitting.

    Like thismorning I woke up and didn't want a cigarette. My mind was clear and I was feeling good. A little sluggish but didn't even have a drink yesterday.

    I put on some good ol music - Smokie and went on a cleaning house mode.

    Now I feel like shit. All I can think of is past issues and cant get a clear mind at all.

    I'm trying so hard to think of what I was thinking thismorning but I cant even dammmmmmm remember what my thought pattern was to even get it back.

    I'm crying like a big baby just wishing that I could be normal just for once. I dont want this anymore.. it's not fair.

    I am so angry at past people in my life. How dare they have the right to put someone in such pain and ruin the rest of their life. My life was not theirs to damage, it's my life not theirs.. damm them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm trying to type this in a nice way but I am so angry I just want to be able to remember how I was thinking thismorning so I can be happy again.

    I hope you can help
    Lorry
     
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  3. starshine

    starshine Active Member

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    It sounds to me like you are going through all the natural stages of grieving what you lost. For me it was an important part of starting to move forward, as painful, uncomfortable and frustrating as it can feel.
     
  4. slhlilbit

    slhlilbit Active Member

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    lorry,
    hi, im sorry you are having so much trouble this morning. you will be ok you are feeling is normal and you will over come this. its not easy and we all have bad days some i have had for a week or two at a time but just look at how far you have come and dont let them win you are a fighter you are a good person and you diserve to be happy dispite all those aholes.
    praying for you , sherry
     
  5. wadoo

    wadoo Active Member

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    thankyou for your kind words. Actually when I really sat down and started to think about it you're right. I used to have months where I was off and now it's gone to only days.

    I feel much better today. :)
     
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