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Echo
I'd really like to hear from other people who have PTSD but who have no-one who might be termed a supporter. When there is no-one to turn to (temporarily or permanently), what works for you as comfort?
I live alone with my two cats in an area to which I moved just as I was becoming ill. I haven't made contacts here, even though I normally make friends easily. I've tried, but the group of people surrounding me are not available for friendship or even neighbourliness, for a variety of reasons. This has been good in one sense, in that they've left me alone when I've needed peace, as I have so much since the onset of PTSD, but it is not ideal.
I had created a community around me in a variety of ways where I used to live and I was very happy there, but had to move for reasons that had nothing to do with me. It is just too far away for the relationships I made there to have been continued very successfully, it seems. I have to say I've been rather hurt by people's responses to me becoming unwell, but that is life.
I've recently cut off from my family, as I've said elsewhere on this forum ad nauseum, so I don't have the weekly chats with the sister to whom I was very close. She couldn't cope with being 'stuck between everyone' (as she perceived it), so asked if she could cut off from me, too.
It is coming up to the first anniversary (on 10 April) of the very sudden and violent death from cancer of my best friend and shortly afterwards of my beloved Grandmother. In a few weeks' time, it will be a year since my ex left me.
I work at home as a freelancer and am not well enough to go out very much, except for essential trips.
I don't mean this to sound like a pity party, although I do realise it is probably quite extreme. I am normally the person everyone comes to for a shoulder to cry on and advice and support, but I've had to learn, it seems, that many of my 'friends' weren't actually offering that to me. I didn't notice, being too busy tending to their needs.
Anyway, in order to cope with the cutting off from my family, the need to get a lot of overdue, complicated work projects done, and the emergence of masses of PTSD-related stuff now that my family are 'safely' at one remove, I have done my usual thing of stuffing everything deep down inside me. Only nowadays that doesn't work very well, and a great deal of emotional and physical pain keeps slipping through my desperately constructed and (wo)manned defences.
The two good friends I do have left have been unavailable for the last few weeks due to illness and a massive workload. Last night I had a lovely chat with one of them, finally, and today I saw my wonderful therapist. I guess this has unleashed the longing in me for proper, in-depth contact, and it wasn't enough. I feel so lonely and bereft all of a sudden, and need to put everything back in that box inside myself in order to cope, but tonight I can't.
So (eventually she gets to the question...), those of you who are in a similar position to me, or have been at times, what did you find that comforted you? I've been thrown back into the isolation of my babyhood and childhood by this (as discussed with my therapist today), so I suppose it is that part of me that is desperate for contact. I don't mind how silly-sounding suggestions might be. If they worked for you, then they worked for you. I can feel myself spinning out of control and I have a full day's hard slog ahead of me tomorrow, so I need to get some kind of a grip. What do you do for yourself, and what do you say to yourself (as mantras, affirmations, prayers, or whatever) that you have found helpful?
I'd be really grateful to hear from you
Echo
I live alone with my two cats in an area to which I moved just as I was becoming ill. I haven't made contacts here, even though I normally make friends easily. I've tried, but the group of people surrounding me are not available for friendship or even neighbourliness, for a variety of reasons. This has been good in one sense, in that they've left me alone when I've needed peace, as I have so much since the onset of PTSD, but it is not ideal.
I had created a community around me in a variety of ways where I used to live and I was very happy there, but had to move for reasons that had nothing to do with me. It is just too far away for the relationships I made there to have been continued very successfully, it seems. I have to say I've been rather hurt by people's responses to me becoming unwell, but that is life.
I've recently cut off from my family, as I've said elsewhere on this forum ad nauseum, so I don't have the weekly chats with the sister to whom I was very close. She couldn't cope with being 'stuck between everyone' (as she perceived it), so asked if she could cut off from me, too.
It is coming up to the first anniversary (on 10 April) of the very sudden and violent death from cancer of my best friend and shortly afterwards of my beloved Grandmother. In a few weeks' time, it will be a year since my ex left me.
I work at home as a freelancer and am not well enough to go out very much, except for essential trips.
I don't mean this to sound like a pity party, although I do realise it is probably quite extreme. I am normally the person everyone comes to for a shoulder to cry on and advice and support, but I've had to learn, it seems, that many of my 'friends' weren't actually offering that to me. I didn't notice, being too busy tending to their needs.
Anyway, in order to cope with the cutting off from my family, the need to get a lot of overdue, complicated work projects done, and the emergence of masses of PTSD-related stuff now that my family are 'safely' at one remove, I have done my usual thing of stuffing everything deep down inside me. Only nowadays that doesn't work very well, and a great deal of emotional and physical pain keeps slipping through my desperately constructed and (wo)manned defences.
The two good friends I do have left have been unavailable for the last few weeks due to illness and a massive workload. Last night I had a lovely chat with one of them, finally, and today I saw my wonderful therapist. I guess this has unleashed the longing in me for proper, in-depth contact, and it wasn't enough. I feel so lonely and bereft all of a sudden, and need to put everything back in that box inside myself in order to cope, but tonight I can't.
So (eventually she gets to the question...), those of you who are in a similar position to me, or have been at times, what did you find that comforted you? I've been thrown back into the isolation of my babyhood and childhood by this (as discussed with my therapist today), so I suppose it is that part of me that is desperate for contact. I don't mind how silly-sounding suggestions might be. If they worked for you, then they worked for you. I can feel myself spinning out of control and I have a full day's hard slog ahead of me tomorrow, so I need to get some kind of a grip. What do you do for yourself, and what do you say to yourself (as mantras, affirmations, prayers, or whatever) that you have found helpful?
I'd be really grateful to hear from you
Echo