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How Do You Deal With "creepy" People?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by I_Am_Titanium, Feb 24, 2017.

  1. I_Am_Titanium

    I_Am_Titanium Active Member

    There's this guy at work who gives me a "creepy" vibe. Being around him just makes me uncomfortable. I can't put my finger on it other than maybe he comes across as overly friendly. Maybe? I took a chance and asked two of my co-workers (one male, one female) about it since it's bothered me for a few years (yes, years). They both agreed with me that I'm not the only one who feels this guy is "creepy". He's old enough to be my grandfather and he's a nice guy. I just get a bad feeling being around him. I rarely get bad vibes about co-workers like this. I've worked with people of many age ranges and nationalities and have rarely had feelings like this.

    This happened at my last job too. My female co-workers confirmed they felt that guy was creepy. He even went as far as to touch some of them on their arms. They avoided him as well. Luckily he never touched me. Sometimes I wonder if it's just me but it's good to know I'm not the only one. I've had men old enough to be my father and/or grandfather hit on me when I was younger including sexual harassment from a former boss once. They really grossed me out to the point I wanted to vomit. I wonder if this is where my unease it comes from? I have PTSD from a lifetime of emotional and physical abuse. Am I hypersensitive?

    He hasn't done anything inappropriate. I just can't stand being around him. So I avoid him as much as I can. When I have to interact with him at work, I do everything I can to be professional and then get away as fast as I can.
    Rain, J'qel, ladee and 2 others like this.
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  3. Ronin

    Ronin Falling Into A Dream Premium Member

    I try not to. As in walk away ASAP. Limit contact to polite necessities but that's it, if unavoidable.

    Also because I might start considering their standards something 'right' just as being exposed to it, to a lifetime of surviving by learning to blend in really well. So it's self preservation to walk.
    Rain, VioletButterfly, J'qel and 3 others like this.
  4. Freedomfighter

    Freedomfighter I'm a VIP

    OMG, there are tons of such guys everywhere, at my job, in the grocery store, in all types of places. Best policy is to stay far out of their range.
    It is really really bad when I have to avoid supervisors and managers, because my job depends on them, my pay is dependent on the fact that I am forced to interact with them. I am forced to interact with these bosses because they are in charge of my job evaluations and at the same time they can hint within any kind of so called normal conversation that they are interested in sexual relationships with me. Not to a degree where that is detectable of course, they always cloak sexual harassment within sentences that deal with workplace issues. So literally every day my life depends on sexual predators because I am forced to still show them courtesy....

    Some of them are harmless, but they can turn on a dime and then turn into really ugly adversaries. Literally a crap shoot at work.
    Rain, J'qel, I_Am_Titanium and 2 others like this.
  5. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

    You're allowed to not like people.

    You're allowed to have all your instincts zero in on someone & alert for "no reason" & to listen to your instincts, & stay away.

    You're allowed to be wrong, about someone. (AKA You don't have to "prove" they're worthy of being disliked/ avoided, before you dislike or avoid them). It's not your job to like everyone, nor your responsibility to be right all the time. You can be wrong. And that's okay.

    These are only problems, IME, when it's not individuals, but everybody &/or whole groups of people. Then you're looking at triggers / stressors / prejudice / cognitive distortions. When it's not everyone/groups? But individuals? Rock on, & trust yourself, until proven otherwise, then continue to trust yourself. Just because you're allowed to change your mind doesn't mean that you have to, nor that your initial feeling was wrong. More information later can change things. "Oh. That explains..." But in the absence of more information? You don't have to seek it out, invent, or assume it. You're allowed to dislike, be wary of, & avoid someone on spec. Always.
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2017
    lolamay, illusionist, Rain and 7 others like this.
  6. Charleh

    Charleh Active Member

    One time My sister in law was talking to our one friend, and this dudes friend was sitting next to our friend. This dudes a real creep (ive seen this goof follow a little girl home one night) so since my sister in law was holding my 1 year old son, i made a b line for her, gave the nastiest look to this dude for a split second (when i do it i can strike sheer terror into just about anyone) and simply walked away from the sotuation, since ive got no patience for guys like him.

    Sometimes you just gotta terrorize the creeps. Im glad i can do it with a look, so nobody can say i made a threatening comment or gesture in court.
    Rain and ladee like this.
  7. ladee

    ladee I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Always follow your gut. You don't need to know whys and wherefores. Be professional and walk a way
    There is guy here I town., that when I see him my skin crawls and I want to vomit.
    If I see him in a store I'm in I leave immediately. He stays to himself and never speaks or looks at anyone.
    This guy scares the hell out of me. Don't know why and don't care. I have to get away.
    Rain, VioletButterfly, Ronin and 2 others like this.
  8. I_Am_Titanium

    I_Am_Titanium Active Member

    Thank you, everyone. I'm still learning to trust my gut instincts and be okay with not having to explain myself, my thoughts or feelings. :)
    Rain, J'qel, Ronin and 1 other person like this.
  9. J'qel

    J'qel Well-Known Member

    I roomed with a "creepy guy"-probably one of my worst mistakes. He had never done anything, just that creepy *ick* vibe-and fI felt bad because he wasn't attractive. I wondered if that was why I was repelled, and feeling bad about it, I agreed to accept him as a roommate. BAD move.

    Always trust your gut.

    As it was said, you're allowed to not like people. You're human. You're not required to like anyone for any reason. If he or she creeps you out, stay the heck away. Something in your subconscious is probably warning you, and you should pay attention to it.
  10. PointlessExistence

    PointlessExistence Active Member

    Maybe the "creep" posted this somewhere:

    How do I deal with young ladies at the office who act as if I'm a creep? I'm much older than they are, and of course that's not my fault. I have to earn a living after all. I have done and said nothing inappropriate to any of them. In fact I try my hardest to be very friendly and polite, and they (one of them especially) seem to try to get away from me as quickly as possible, which I find quite rude. I think it's very unfair that people are shunning me when I haven't done anything at all except be nice to them.
    Rain, ladee and scout86 like this.
  11. cactus_jack

    cactus_jack Well-Known Member

    Actually that is very similar to what I encounter in many places. In some instances I have been accused of sexually harassing young women when I have absolutely nothing to do with them, and they'll even tell the cops that nothing happened. It's just that I give them this "feeling" and it creeps them out. How the hell do I control the feeling others have? Especially when I don't know them and in many cases never been introduced to them? Case in point, the recent stalking injunction issued against me. For...I have no idea because I don't know the girl.

    OTOH I have a head injury and that alone is grounds for being terrified of people like me....
    Rain likes this.
  12. Rain

    Rain Most people long for love and acceptance Premium Member Generous $250+

    I get those feelings too and I am learning to trust my gut instincts, I do not say or do anything, but keep a safe distance. My gut does not lie, ever. I do not have to be rude to the guy in question, I do not have anything to do with him. I just listen to my red alert inside of me and stay a safe distance away.
  13. illusionist

    illusionist I'm a VIP Donated

    Thanks @Friday ......another gem appropriate to my circumstances.

    Op...this is something I've been pondering over lately......thank you for posting.
    Rain likes this.
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