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How do you handle being very depressed/slightly suicidal when friends are dealing with crises'?

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I feel like I've gotten to the red zone of being present. On occasion when I feel like everything is too overwhelming I get kind of detached, or just...sleep a lot and feel tired all the time and I am getting there now.

I had rough few months. Then in the last weeks I had: a week where I barely had money for food. A week where I got triggered and could barely get out of bed. A week where I was deeply depressed and a little suicidal...And just as I am feeling all that I get in a week where few people are sick, dear friend had to go to a hospital, there were constant renovations in my apartment (should have been done in a day and still isn't)...a friend had a break up. Another friend had a miscarriage... and now another friend lost a family member that was in his 20s to a brain tumor. She sounds slightly suicidal and I'm trying to be as helpful as I can, but I feel exhausted to the point of I'm not sure how I'm functioning. I'm still talking to them all and helping as much as that's possible. I'm usually a good person in these kinds of situations, I usually function well in crisis mode...but now I feel that trying to be the support all of them need is making me get worse mentally. I'm just pushing that feeling down because there's no time for it. But I'm feeling the depressed/slightly suicidal "what's the point" feeling getting stronger.

I don't think I'm really suicidal, but I do think I'm getting more depressed by the day. And I am only keeping it together until I know everyone else is okay. But I know then it will really backfire, because this has happened occasionally. I know this is awful and selfish and I shouldn't complain about being there for the people in my life that need me. I just feel like I really need someone to tell me I'll get through this as well right now, that I feel in darker mood and more exhausted by the day and I just want to sleep and push away any thinking because I really can't think right now. Like a storm is coming. And I'm trying to keep myself in one piece. I am trying to cook and I'm literally crying over the chicken. I don't even know if I should cook it. It feels like one of those days where nothing goes right. I feel like giving up like making chicken is the most painful thing ever. Except I can't throw out food, so I have to try and make it edible. I really want to "slip out" of reality tonight and sleep like 12-14-16 h in a row. I can really use that. I'm sorry, I'm sorry if this sounds awful and harsh and selfish, I don't want to feel like that I just feel like I'll faint simply from the mental pressure in my head and from trying to keep it together.
 
During safety drills on airplanes, they always say to put on your own oxygen mask first, before helping to put it on someone else. When I was trained to be a lifeguard, it was hammered into us to never risk my own drowning in order to save another, because then there could be two victims in need of help, not just one.

Boundaries not just helpful, but essential, to helping others in a healthy way. It's ok to say no to someone who is in pain because you need some space to regroup yourself. It's ok to have limits - it's called being human.

This is part of why it's important for people to have networks of support - not just one person. This allows them more people to reach out to, because sh*t happens in everyone's lives from time to time and not everyone can be there for everyone else all the time.

Helping someone also doesn't have to be all or nothing. Sometimes small acts of support or finding a way to support each other together is a path to get through. Sometimes I have said to a friend, "I'm having a terrible day too - want to have a night together to blow off steam and laugh at a silly movie?" Sometimes it can be inviting someone to do something with you that you are doing to cope.

It's also ok to say no, I can't do that, but I could do this... and if it's all too much, it's ok to say no then too.
 
During safety drills on airplanes, they always say to put on your own oxygen mask first, before help...
I know you're right, but to be honest I never really learned boundaries well. I only just this year started asserting some, and I haven't tried for anything like now. But I may have to though.

I did my best to talk to my friend and she says it helped. However she's in dark mood and we tend to "share" our dark moods, and it usually helps. But now she's listening to all these death related songs and I feel like self harming. And I cant tell her to not do that, because what if sending them(links to the songs, to me, in chat) is helping her? Surely I can ignore few lines of chat right? I think I'm just going to politely call it a night. Good for both of us so we can keep functioning, respectively, and get through this time.
 
Good advice @Justmehere can't help anyone else unless I first help myself. And I also agree @SeekingAfrica with @Justmehere about personal boundaries and taking care of yourself first! First things first. I'm not quite in the redzone of being present however I am struggling to deal with living in the present now post EMDR. Yukk! Sucks eggs. I too would like to sleep 14 hours or more but can't 'cuz I know that's a hard habit to break and I've been there - done that.

When I'm fried from too much over-stimulation and feeling overwhelmed I also watch a crazy funny movie I love The Money Pit with Tom Hanks and Shelley Duvall; also I watch stand-up comedy and I like Gabriel Eglasias, among many other stand-up comics! Hoping you stop crying in your fried chicken and know that if you choose - there's deep breathing exercises, Eft tapping, and Deep Relaxing Meditation (internet), and also I am just beginning to learn distress tolerance through D.B.T. Therapy (haven't started as T is on staycation at moment).

As Justmehere shared I've just as of late been setting limits on what I'm doing in the morning if I did not sleep well the night before and this has been good decision for me. And I know how to say no, not now, maybe later. Also I try to only have people in my life who respect my boundaries and I theirs. Hope this helped.
 
Good advice @Justmehere can't help anyone else unless I first help myself. And I...
No, I'm now only crying on the floor on a very fluffy rug. :D Sitting on it seems appropriate right now, as I already feel ridiculous anyway. Despite my best efforts to not care, the chicken actually ended up delicious and I'm sure I'll be grateful for it tomorrow.
I haven't managed to fall asleep before 2AM in a week, which of course doesn't help. I'm sure somehow, someway, I'll get through this. I always do. I just can't stop crying right now. But may be I'll feel better after. I hope. I feel still awful and at the same time finding it ridiculous, like omg-can't-stop-crying. Like a meme or comics or something. Except probably should drink water or something, once I manage to get up.
At this point I think I may be happy for Monday to come.
 
I so get @SeekingAfrica crying on the floor, in the bed, propped up against the wall, etc. crying is good medicine and releases life's sorrows and frustrations and I am sending you a link on just how good it so for you @SeekingAfrica

EMOTIONAL WELLBEING
Go
Ahead, Have a Good Cry: 5 Reasons Why It's Good for You

Please don't beat yourself up for having feelings and crying for as I was just watching a DVD movie called Message In A Bottle with Kevin Costner and Robin Wright (Penn) a love story and I was cryin' on/off through movie. And I'm so glad you have a very fluffy rug to cry on now and I would never see you as ridiculous for feeling and crying this is natural. And in above article it says after a good cry, or several of them we do seem to feel some better, so.

Yes, and drinking some water to restore what you've cried out of your system would definitely be good for you. At some point in them relationships are hard for everyone. Yes they are. Caring.
 
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I so get @SeekingAfrica crying on the floor, in the bed, propped up against the w...
Oh, thank you so much! The site that article is from seems to be really interesting for so many other things in my life! Thank you so much, very appreciated.

Today I actually spend the day in bed. I guess I caught the virus that has been going around lately. Either that or I was so emotionally exhausted that it made me that weak and fiverish...so either way I guess it was useful. I literally could not get myself to get up even to eat until 2PM. I only got up to message and reschedule some things for today. After that I've been sleeping, eating and resting on and off the whole day, and considering how little I sleep lately because of anxiety and nightmares, I'll take that as a blessing.
I still found some time to chat with my friend and help her in just talking about what she's going through, so I'm happy about that.
Hopefully tomorrow I'll have the strength to deal with everything else.
 
I guess I caught the virus that has been going around lately. Either that or I was so emotionally exhausted that it made me that weak and fiverish...so either way I guess it was useful
You're welcome as other caring and thoughtful members here have shared their information I too am only trying to pass it on! Caring (hugs)!
 
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