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How do you heal and forgive

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Define forgiveness. Seems to me that everyone has a different idea of what forgiveness is. If you are talking about the biblical sense where a person is no longer held accountable for their sins, well screw that. The effects of what they did to us will last a lifetime. So why shouldn't they be held accountable?
 
Adov: The person didn't ask for a debate on religion or people's various opinions on whether it's possible to forgive. They asked "How do you heal and forgive."
 
I believe in forgiveness, but I think it's nearly impossible if they don't own up to what they did and are still a danger to society.
 
I don't believe in forgiveness, it is a mechanism that the Catholic Church used to enable generations of child rapist priests. I don't see it as necessary. Letting it go, however, might be useful.
 
You didn't deserve any of this and you don't owe forgiveness to anyone.
Forgiveness within relationships requires contrition, confession and concrete change. Outside of relationships, it's completely about what you want and need. For me, forgiveness has felt more like neutrality...at times...and I think I have to keep working on it from time to time--only for my own well-being, though. I don't give a single you know what about my abusers.
 
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