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How Do You Love Yourself?

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I've learned to respect myself, and accept myself but just can't love myself. I don't think I ever will, and personally don't see it as something I feel the need to aim for anymore.
 
I've been trying to turn off the 24 hour surveillance video of myself playing in my head. You know like watching yourself through the eyes of your worst detractors--anyone else do that? I try to notice that I'm doing it, and I find I drift back into the now and realize that no one is watching me and I don't have to perform for anyone. This is probably more to do with ceasing to hate yourself, but I think that's probably the first step to loving yourself.

Hard being in a relationship or a mom if you don't feel worthy..or love for yourself
At least you have those people in your life--you should try to let in their love for you and allow it to flower into love for yourself. I have no one these days--zero--and there's a part of me that knows I could use the validation from other people, but I'm just to scared to put myself in front of them again.
 
I think how I got to where I am now....which is far, as I used to detest myself... was through unravelling my past, looking at what positive things I have done ( that includes seemingly small things), giving myself and others boundaries, allowing myself to love and be loved, forgiving myself, and allowing myself to make mistakes....we are human after all. It does come with time...you will get there. Strange Willycat....I was just coming back to mention finding your inner child....yes definitely helps!
 
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It came upon me sort of suddenly and out of the blue. I went out to the wilderness over a long weekend to fast, sort of meditate, and just let myself be. I got angry a lot, I cried a lot. At one point, I learned to accept my anger as fear, the fear I had as a little boy not understanding why life was such endless misery. As I accepted the anger, I hugged myself or rather hugged the little boy inside me and, crying, tried to tell him it would be OK. Then it just popped out of my mouth: "I love you."

The next day, I hiked back to the car a drove home. On those occasions when I get angry or start to feel overwhelmed, I give myself a hug and it really helps. I just hope no one sees me do this.
 
I obviously have no issues here and I am not sure why I would not like who I am, Love is different if you love your self,
My question is why don't you like who you are.
 
I've made a breakthrough with this..um, like yesterday. I'm still kind of reeling from it. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm ready to share. I picture her at 6 years old. Always wanting validation that she's here and needs love. So she asked my hubby again. Why do you love me? Because I don't love me. He just looked at me and told me all the reasons why he loves me. Then he asked, why do love me? I let the inner child answer even though I was fighting it. "I need you." came out of my lips. It was truthful but sorely lacking. He said, "Good enough for me." And his face told me that it was. This brought tears flowing even though I didn't want them to come. Finally I just let them come. I started to shake and sob from relief. If he can love my inner child....well....

And suddenly I felt better. My inner child got comforted and connections were made from feelings and thoughts. It was like a heavy blanket lifted. Sensations were clearer, especially pleasant ones. I'm less exhausted. It's kinda awesome. But it's day 1. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.
 
@Dana1010
I can't really relate to what you are saying but it sounds like you need a new circle of friends, People that like you for who you are, I never waste my time with people that are takers or talk to me because they want something,
 
@Nam..that is beautiful :) thanks so much for sharing that.

@Dana1010 you are right, this im sure is about the abuse from early childhood. I'm trying to learn all these new things like compassion for self but still struggling some..

@TonyG i assume this is something from being abused in early childhood..

@WillyKat thanks for sharing. That sounds fantastic..have you seen the movie wild? You remindeded me of that..
I enjoyed that movie...
 
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