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How Do You See PTSD - Tattoos We Wear and Why

Discussion in 'General' started by permban0077, Nov 9, 2006.

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  1. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Brought up in my last post... But no relevence to it as a subject.

    The man who fixed the ultimate of a f* up in tats some bozo did... Obviously in training and the shop should have told me he was a newbie. I have never let any "in training" touch me. It was my tribute to motherhood and all I had done was the outline. Tribal one both sides of the back of my hip. In the center on my lower back (I'd say small but not a small area) I had my sign looks like an H of sorts. One sign for each of my kids in a smaller version around it.

    The shop had tried to say I jumped or flinching. I have two big very detailed tats on the front. One from belly button slightly down my thing EDIT - that was supposed to say THIGH! on one side and goes over my hip bone. It is big. The other almost as large and goes over my bone and on my belly too (looks like murals when pregnant). This new guy said they were full of shit. He said he could tell by my others' details and location you don't move and you certainly do not flinch. And after he did the repairs it was confirmed and he said I was his favorite type to work on... did not wiggle or bitch.

    Reasons of mine, out of curiosity I had an itty bitty heart put there on hip to see if I could handle it. When the evil ex saw it he flipped out on me hard. This was when I was gathering my nerve to leave. I went out and spent a few hundred bucks and had the itty bitty heart covered... With the huge ass one and chose it because it was pretty. But the point of that one was standing up to him and he could not take it away no matter what he did. The unicorn, clouds and moon... Just pretty, but it represented defiance in him just to have it.

    My second was a beautiful lion hiding behind Orchids. I used to work in a family owned Orchid shop. I am behind it waiting to emerge. Lot of problems with that side of family. At that time I felt trapped, I wish I had one of it leaping over the flowers now as it has changed.

    Third across my back again motherhood.

    The place on the side of my hip... Will be #4 or 5. I have felt tied down and chained by what had been undiagnosed for so long. But now I have felt like this before PTSD being "official". This imaige has been in my head since they had diagnosed Panic Disorder. None of my tats have color.

    Anthony's thinking and pointing out B&W thinking made me think of my tats all being black with no color. So it has influenced one detail of the tat in mind. The woman potrayed will have my hair color a dark red / auburn. The woman in the tat is me and how I feel with this. So bound with chains on her knees unable to rise and head hung low and nude. Sums it up pretty well for me. I still feel like that a lot. I just hope the man drawing it can get the image to match what is in my head. It is designed in my head but to draw it another thing. I want it to protray dispair, helpless, and pain.

    When I heal as much as I can, and feel I have, it will be her standing proud with her head high and broken chains. Nudity there, don't know. Nudity represents me having to expose so much of myself to heal. Don't know how long it will take for me to feel I am ready for it, but until then that spot on the side of my other hip will remain blank. And I think I have to be there to know exactly what I want as far as the smallest details. Maybe an white flowing gown. Sure I have plenty of time to see it like I see this one.

    But the gathering of it all to make it blend is just going to take a talented artist to make it look like it flows in a belt... And leave the blank for when I am ready to feel I made it.

    I am looking into a braclet. I have never put a tat where it could be not be concealed simply dressing. But I am having hubs sign added (he is unaware) and in the open. On the same side I wear my wedding band. The guy stenciled something femenine to go around. Have a piece of him/and not give a rats ass of how others see me without knowing me anymore. Tats are part of me and I am done hiding it. It is to be put on at no charge when I return to make sure my back does not need touching up. Nice gift from the guy.

    Overall it is sore and very bruised. And FYI... when you get a tat done over another one that may have raised scars like part of mine did it hurts like a bitch! And swells up fast!

    How about ya'll with tats? What do you have and why?
     
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  3. kimG

    kimG Well-Known Member

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    I have one on my back, right shoulder blade...a dreamcatcher...done about 5 years ago...matches the one Warren has...only color in it is blue, on the feathers...didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would, although when the girls asked if it hurt, I said, "Sure did!" - trying to scare them from getting one any time soon, as they are still young yet.

    Beside it matching Warren's, the dreamcatcher is a peaceful symbol to me. Too bad I didn't know about them when I was younger. But, after finding my birthmother, I found out that I am part Cherokee, part Choctaw; it explained a lot of my feelings towards the American Indians.
     
  4. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Comanche or Apache... Great grandmother, family tried hard to hide it as it was embarrassing back in the day so records are impossible to find except them admitting it and seeing her but they tried so hard to cover it I can't follow the family tree. She is dead as is my grandfather who was the "half breed" as it was put. I keep a black, blue, and orange beaded necklace close to my heart. Teens have some Cherokee from their dad's side too. Teen son is like me having the tan and dark eyes and hair, but the blondes are popping up all over the family now, we don't "blend" in well LOL. I think almost everyone has the native in them somewhere, just don't know it... But in a few it shows up, like a throw back of sorts. Wish it wasn't so taboo as it was so we could know our families history.
     
  5. nugget

    nugget Well-Known Member

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    so which ones do i explain

    oke doke i have a pair of eyes tattooed one on each cheek of my butt,reason i was sexually abused as a teenager ( i can see any barstard coming at me now) i have one on the back between my shoulder blades a matching one the same as my wifes (jods) instead of a wedding ring. i have a celtic cross on my inner left wrist with the words (wrong place at the wrong time) because of the accident i was in. i have one each for my two girls a unicorn & whinne the pooh. one on my shoulder of a tiger donated by freinds , mmm i now belong to a club didnt know that at the time young and foolish and one on my leg of a indian girl(s----) holding a eagle why ? i love long dark hair and the eagle is for strenght, still getting more owe one for my boy. just love the buzz you get when you are being tattooed.
     
  6. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    nugget, that is very personal and so cool you opened up. Thank you. Pretty wild and a lot of meaing and depth.

    The buzz... the hitting "the zone" I get. For the first time like I had said some where it took 3 &1/2 hours for the guy to fix the back tat. But this time I took in a CD player and head phones. Had all the new age music. Talk about zone out hearing the rain and such, part of it felt like I was within a hut watching the rain and hearing myself walk in it (I listen to this CD a lot and NEVER was it like this). I zoned out hard core and snoozed during part. I could just hear nature being part of it and all I felt at times were so soft. It was like he was just rubbing a feather across my skin. It was pretty wild of a combo. Told hubs later when he picked me up at times while he worked it was like "angel kisses", could not come up with a better way to say it. This new guy knows his stuff and how to do it.

    About 6 years ago I got close to a celtic style cross on my back where the birth signs are now. It was beautiful how they were knotted, but it was just not right and I could feel it. I went through so many... Not for me. But they are beautiful for sure.

    Again thank you so much for sharing nugget, we don't hear much from you and you are doing great with the train rides! Way better than I would!
     
  7. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    On my left shoulder I have a Celtic triskele (most of my heritage is Celtic). It's a triangle with a swirl coming off of each point. It symbolizes the three stages of a woman's life-maiden, mother and crone. And the swirls symbolize finding wisdom on the inside and bringing it out. A lot of triskele's have a circle around them. I'm going to get one and have my father's and sister's initials worked into the circle so I know that people who love me will always have my back.

    The funny thing about this post is that for the last couple of weeks, I've been thinking about getting another tattoo on my right shoulder and making it one of strength and perseverence. I'd like it to be Celtic in nature, but I haven't found 'the right one' yet. I'll know it when I see it just like I knew that I would get a tattoo of the treskele when I saw it.

    BTW-my oldest daughter has two tattoos and she said she fell asleep during the second one. She wants us to go have a mother/daughter bonding moment at the tattoo parlor. And she's even offered to pay for mine!!! LOL OMG-my mother would sh*t a brick if she knew.
     
  8. Boo-Damphir

    Boo-Damphir Active Member

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    I know I posted this about a month ago or so, but I thought it was appropriate here again. One of my favorite Tshirts reads, "I do it for the pain, the ink and the jewelry are just souveniers" :rofl:
     
    Spiderallis likes this.
  9. Farmer

    Farmer Active Member

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    I thought of getting my scares tattood over for quite a while but kept putting it of, then I thought of just getting flames comming of the scares. Right about when I was thinking that everybody started getting branded and I thought " hell I've got the ultamet brands so to hell with it I'll go as I am". I still get the itch to do the flames comming of the scares tho.
     
  10. goingonhope

    goingonhope Member Premium Member

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    Never even thought of or dawned on me to get a tatoo. They're quite popular though, among both sexes. Will discourage my daughter for as long as she'll listen but never my son. I think I like the way you described yours as black 'n' white veiled, ... makes perfect sense to me.
     
  11. mouse

    mouse Well-Known Member

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    I am so glad to see this post I too have Tat's I have a Celtic Love knot on my right shoulder this was our wedding symbol a heart entangled in a trinity knot which to us symbolized that our love, and life may have lots of twist and turns it will continue and never be broken. My hubby has a large Celtic cross on his right forearm and in the center is the exact same love knot, and on the edges of the cross are shamrocks which symbolizes our Daughter Tara who was born on St. Patrick's Day. I have a Celtic horse head on my left ankle which symbolizes my passion as well as the horse is a symbol of protection and power, in the middle is a shamrock and the dates of Tara's birth and our wedding. I also have a Canadian flag on my other ankle to represent my pride in our country and for the time that I served, as well I have a small dove with a rose in its beak, this was my first Tat which was done when i turned 17 and it was a rebellion thing, my Dad was so pissed but it was to me a symbol of freedom flying away and the rose was innocence leaving with the dove. I will get more but they have to be the right ones eventually I want a large back piece but not sure what it will be.

    I can relate to the " Zone" for the longest time I thought that I just liked the idea of the pain that I might endure in order to get my Tat but now it is all about self control, not to move to be able to focus and sit for long periods of time and in the end to have a reward, The Ink forever.
     
  12. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Boo, I need to find that one...
     
  13. Boo-Damphir

    Boo-Damphir Active Member

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    eBay baby!
     
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