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How Do You Tell Someone They Need to Get Help?

Discussion in 'General' started by Damiea, Aug 8, 2007.

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  1. Damiea

    Damiea Well-Known Member

    How do you tell someone with PTSD they need to stop acting as they have been and get help? That what they are doing is causing a very high amount of stress and anxiety to the ones they care about and everyone around them. That children see things and get scared of stuff they should be innocent of. How do you let someone know all anyone wants is for them to get better but the way they are acting is hurting everyone and possibly could get even worse and they are unaware of it or they just don't care when they are in a rage.
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  3. Claire

    Claire Well-Known Member

    I think you tell them pretty much what you told us here! The person concerned is probably very frightened at the moment and will need very careful handling. Be gentle explaining it to them. Dont do it within an argument. They quite likely know already that they need to get help. You can help by pointing them in the right direction and ensuring them of your love and support throughout. Its ultimately down to them but you can encourage them.
  4. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

    You can suggest that they get help, and if they aren't aware of what they are doing, you can talk to them as Claire says and make them aware. But if after you've done that, they still don't want help, if they're not ready or haven't hit their "bottom", there's not much else you can do. I ran away from my family for 5 years. I had no contact with them whatsoever during that time. I didn't want their help, it was my choice, and I didn't care if it hurt them. Now I am getting help from them, lots of it, but that's my choice too. You can be supportive to a point, but if someone doesn't want to help themselves you have to let them go.
  5. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

    The way Claire said it, avoid during an argument. You could not really put it more gently or to the point as you just did.
  6. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

    The best approach with someone with PTSD, is straight down the line and between the eyes. Don't try and make it sound sweet and pretty, just give it to them in a basic form, least words possible, so they cannot misinterpret it. Give them the negatives, give them the positives if they exist, otherwise just the negatives if that is all exists. Don't make shit up to feed them in order to make yourself feel better about being so brutal.

    Smack them with the information between the eyes, that is the only way they will understand it if PTSD is the controlling factor. The positives if none exist, can be replaced with positive methods in which you believe they can adopt in order to rectify the situation. You should always give a person either:
    1. Negatives first, finishing with the positives; or
    2. Negatives first, finishing with how to adapt positives.
    Just negative makes them want to jump off a bridge. They will only take in the negatives anyway, which is good, because that is what you want, however; you need to then hammer home the positives or the positive solutions constantly in order to help them change.
  7. Claire

    Claire Well-Known Member

    Yes, I agree Anthony but I dont think you need to be too harsh with them. Sounds like your army training coming through?! If you were like that with me you would have had me running for the hills. I needed straight forward but not harsh. I would have just retreated otherwise. Everyones different.
  8. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    JMO.......I think that you can say it, say it, and then say it again that they need help. You can scream it, say it gentle, point out the crap they do. You could stand on your head and spit wooden nickels...If they aren't receptive to it, and don't think they have a problem...It won't work.

    The person that is that deep into PTSD uses denial, and places blame on everyone else ..It just isn't them......

    Keep trying, never give up, they need help, they just don't know it..........or refuse to accept it.

    Just my opinion from being that person that was in denial for years.

  9. EmeraldRiver

    EmeraldRiver Member

    Not sure what the background is for your person, but I was military. We're TRAINED to ignore PTSD symptoms, and shunned if we acknowledge them because it's 'weak'. Most males in our society also have a hard time admitting they need help.

    For me - it was a friend gently saying 'here's a pamphlet I want you to read. If you think it's you I know where you can get help'. And I will be eternally grateful she spoke up....because I honestly didn't know I had it until I read that pamphlet...but there was someone else - just like me - describing MY life...and I broke down and asked for help. Hopefully it can be that simple for you and the one you love.
  10. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

    Yep, have to agree Claire... my training is instinctive within me. Emerald, well said, and I used to certainly be one of those males who couldn't admit there was anything wrong. I learnt the hard way, and know better now. I believe I am more a man now being able to talk about my true feelings than I ever was before. I am still a bit blokey and all, but able to talk about my feelings nonetheless.
  11. Nicolette

    Nicolette ♡ Supporter Admin ♡ Supporter Admin Sponsor $100+

    While I agree with Anthony I do notice when he is ill he wont talk about any feelings and totally withdraws emotionally. I don't think I would tell him anything other than a gentle nudge at those times. Like Veiled has said before, you have to pick your times with PTSD suffers.
  12. Damiea

    Damiea Well-Known Member

    Yes I have found that when they are Ill they don't hear exactly what you are saying.. only bits and pieces and then usually what they do pick up from any talk gets mixed up with what they are feeling. My problem is she doesn't live with us.. and we can't exactly tell how ill she is when anyone talks to her. So basically we have to treat her as if she is very Ill whenever we have to talk to her just in case. Things have gotten extremly better the past 2 weeks but other issues will be coming up in a few months that will be hard to deal with for all of us again.
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