Obviously our option on a web forum is to write out our stuff. I know many people have trauma diaries (I don't, for my own reasons) and assume those are very helpful. Many of us can write and clarify things for ourselves and weave insight or tips from others into our growing understanding.
Personally, I "speak" better in writing. Face-to-face I rarely make sense, unless I'm teaching or presenting info (so not about me and not much about social relationships). I connect poorly in many cases, don't make good eye contact, and waiver between not talking or sort of rambling in a disconnected way (okay, I can ramble when I write too). Of course I'm working on the social connection part...but getting emotional support from others or talking about this stuff is way, way, way down that list. It helps a lot to write and have all those other threats or fears of rejection eliminated as I sort out my very fragmented or fuzzy sense of self, because I feel like I can say what I need to in a way that increases my understanding of my reality.
Also, the physical act of writing seems to help me self-organize, whether using pencil or typing. It involves different senses and feels more tangible. It's always been this way for me. My house was very uncommunicative but I had this whole inner world that could partly be realized in writing. Isolative, yes, but better than non-existent.
I seem to process writing more deeply (whether my own writing or reading other people's stuff). So it's a helpful tool and way to connect. It has its limits of course, but also benefits. I also like writing and responding to others because it helps me feel less isolated with my stuff and possibly helpful to others. Also distracts me from being way stuck in my own stuff. It's challenging for me to be empathetic in much of my regular life only because I don't let people get close enough. AA is helpful. But for keeping that part of myself alive while I work on the face-to-face connections and speaking, writing as a way of thinking/processing and communicating with others through writing is very helpful. In some ways I'll admit it's a substitute for ways I can't otherwise connect, but writing is also (and will likely always be) a very distinct way of processing. It helps me very much to see words. Stuff like that.
Personally, I "speak" better in writing. Face-to-face I rarely make sense, unless I'm teaching or presenting info (so not about me and not much about social relationships). I connect poorly in many cases, don't make good eye contact, and waiver between not talking or sort of rambling in a disconnected way (okay, I can ramble when I write too). Of course I'm working on the social connection part...but getting emotional support from others or talking about this stuff is way, way, way down that list. It helps a lot to write and have all those other threats or fears of rejection eliminated as I sort out my very fragmented or fuzzy sense of self, because I feel like I can say what I need to in a way that increases my understanding of my reality.
Also, the physical act of writing seems to help me self-organize, whether using pencil or typing. It involves different senses and feels more tangible. It's always been this way for me. My house was very uncommunicative but I had this whole inner world that could partly be realized in writing. Isolative, yes, but better than non-existent.
I seem to process writing more deeply (whether my own writing or reading other people's stuff). So it's a helpful tool and way to connect. It has its limits of course, but also benefits. I also like writing and responding to others because it helps me feel less isolated with my stuff and possibly helpful to others. Also distracts me from being way stuck in my own stuff. It's challenging for me to be empathetic in much of my regular life only because I don't let people get close enough. AA is helpful. But for keeping that part of myself alive while I work on the face-to-face connections and speaking, writing as a way of thinking/processing and communicating with others through writing is very helpful. In some ways I'll admit it's a substitute for ways I can't otherwise connect, but writing is also (and will likely always be) a very distinct way of processing. It helps me very much to see words. Stuff like that.
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