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How i was like without medication

Discussion in 'Medications & Substances' started by Blueseas, Jan 19, 2018.

  1. Blueseas

    Blueseas Was Erics

    I am just thinking back to now my whole life - how I was like without medication. I've had ptsd my entire life, the last half of my entire life since I was 14... I'm sure of it I'm just thinking back to how I was before I started medication about 1 week and a half ago. I am so different than I am now. I was not normal then, that was my normal. I am calm now, balanced, I am just different. I feel like a normal human person. Not to say I wasn't before - but it's like night and day. Literally night and day. I felt I was on dark extreme mode back then...obsessive, cyclical, threat - ready. Extremely lonely even when I was around others...still waking up early in the morning. I just felt different; the quality of my life and my mind has changed. Not enough to be an entirely different person but almost. I feel a fuller sense of well-being, fullness and satiated-ness. It's almost as if I'm well-er than good. I don't need people. I always looked as if something was wrong before, edgy, uptight and tense.
    Another thing I noticed is that I'm not as able to "go" as I was before...I was always ready to kick someone's ass - ready and willing and able. Is that a part of ptsd? I'm like that my whole life, just related to people on a different level. I really could to, when I'm like that. It's like I could relate to people, but was always ready to go and put out this vibe that let people know not to f*ck with me.
    I feel different; I'm thinking about different things. I'm acting more like a normal person. I'm able to concentrate, almost too much now. I'm not hyper-sexed all the time either as I was before always thinking about it. The fight and flight drive runs off the same circuit as the sexual circuitry; a primitive drive; my higher thinking is intact now. I'm able to reason because my HPA axis is regulated and shut down. It makes emotion regulation easier also.

    Anyone else with medication stories?


    I am able to do things I couldn't do before, like apply for jobs with confidence - go out and do things. Before, I was just dallying and wasting time. I have to come to the fact that I'll probably never be a people person. Not in this context, where I'll have to interact professionally with people and not in a familial societal context.... It's hard to explain.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 20, 2018
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  3. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington ________ in progress Premium Member

    I’m really happy with my new meds, too! My mood stabilizer is working really well now that I figured I need twice a day equal dosing. Oh, and stopped another medication that I’ve been on for awhile because it was overly sedating. *Fingers crossed* that I don’t have to do any more tweaking.

    My mood is so much better. I’m not reacting to everything. With twice a day equal dosing I’m not having mood crashes when the medication wears off. I’m no longer sleeping away my day.

    It feels great!!!!! I feel like “me” again.
    Chiqui likes this.
  4. Chiqui

    Chiqui Well-Known Member

    I was hopeless...I just could be awake for a couple of hours daytime and chronic insomnia. Bad temper, defensive and lots of Distorted thoughts.
    Now, things doesn't make so much impacto and also can laugh about. The same things that drove me previously mad.
    I hope I feel soon confident enough for a job interviews and be hired. Also my insomnia its starting to be regulated.
    Such a relief, hope It runs long.
  5. Blueseas

    Blueseas Was Erics

    Sometimes, I think the lack of close-knit familial interactions along with the individualized society makes me very depressed. I was thinking about this and I think medication helps but that isn't enough. I think that people with our kinds of issues need all the interaction we can get. I think that people with PTSD need constant interactions... and we just don't have them.
    I honestly think that if I were in a place with more traditional family/society interactions...it would probably eliminate the need for me to have medication at all. I'm certain of that because I used to have that and I experienced it firsthand. We gain a lot by individualism, but suffer a lot when it comes to the most basic consequences. Social health is mental health..... I think something where social interactions are built into the society. Like, in India or something. Or Turkey as I've discovered, and experienced.
    I was thinking about this and we have to make the extra effort. If you're like me it's hard to put up the effort and it takes effort. But we can make it. Join a club or a group or something where you can socialize. Socialization is the most powerful balm towards wholesome functioning that is healthy. I think that since we are so divided on race, functioning and ethnicity...there is nothing really to bind us together in a cohesiveness.
    I think that while in America the best thing is clubs or meetups, church groups...etcetera.
    expectingbetter likes this.
  6. joeylittle

    joeylittle ˁ˚ᴥ˚ˀ All howl, no bite Administrator Generous $250+

    It's really nice to hear that you are feeling better, @Erics
    I noticed this too, when I started medication. I probably could have started them at least 20 years earlier, and I kind of couldn't believe that I had really clung to the 'no medication for me' thoughts for such a long time.

    Some advice - try and keep a log, if you can, of the changes you are noticing. There are probably some that fall into "physical", and others that are more emotional/thought-based. In the log, also track the things that become more possible to do on the medication. If you are able to exercise more, how your eating and sleeping is working. Anything worth noting, note it.

    The log will help if/when you try and discontinue the meds, or try switching. Also, if I'm reading you correctly, you're just getting the first wave of positive effects. I don't know if you are still trying to find your therapeutic dose level, but if you are, a big part of how you'll know you're at the right dose involves reaching stability with the positive outcomes. It can take a full 2-4 weeks to be able to evaluate your dose, and it can get hard to just remember the things that were working, and whether they are still working after you adjust to the newness of them (if that makes sense). I would have been lost without logging things.
    This is so true, and it's also a great argument for how helpful medication can be. Medication doesn't fix things - but it makes it possible to participate in living your life in a way that will ultimately create lasting long-term change. It gives a person a 'leg up' on the things that can be really hard to do without some help...and then, those things can do the real transformative work.

    Anyway - keep up posted, and I'm glad you are feeling some positive effects.
    EveHarrington, PURUSHA and Erics like this.
  7. frogthroat

    frogthroat Active Member

    Wow. I'm exactly like your before right now. I've been like that so long. You make me consider asking about meds. I wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning and am buzzing all day. People are hard to be around. I'm glad you feel better.
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