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Deleted member 44394
I am just thinking back to now my whole life - how I was like without medication. I've had ptsd my entire life, the last half of my entire life since I was 14... I'm sure of it I'm just thinking back to how I was before I started medication about 1 week and a half ago. I am so different than I am now. I was not normal then, that was my normal. I am calm now, balanced, I am just different. I feel like a normal human person. Not to say I wasn't before - but it's like night and day. Literally night and day. I felt I was on dark extreme mode back then...obsessive, cyclical, threat - ready. Extremely lonely even when I was around others...still waking up early in the morning. I just felt different; the quality of my life and my mind has changed. Not enough to be an entirely different person but almost. I feel a fuller sense of well-being, fullness and satiated-ness. It's almost as if I'm well-er than good. I don't need people. I always looked as if something was wrong before, edgy, uptight and tense.
Another thing I noticed is that I'm not as able to "go" as I was before...I was always ready to kick someone's ass - ready and willing and able. Is that a part of ptsd? I'm like that my whole life, just related to people on a different level. I really could to, when I'm like that. It's like I could relate to people, but was always ready to go and put out this vibe that let people know not to f*ck with me.
I feel different; I'm thinking about different things. I'm acting more like a normal person. I'm able to concentrate, almost too much now. I'm not hyper-sexed all the time either as I was before always thinking about it. The fight and flight drive runs off the same circuit as the sexual circuitry; a primitive drive; my higher thinking is intact now. I'm able to reason because my HPA axis is regulated and shut down. It makes emotion regulation easier also.
Anyone else with medication stories?
Thanks..
I am able to do things I couldn't do before, like apply for jobs with confidence - go out and do things. Before, I was just dallying and wasting time. I have to come to the fact that I'll probably never be a people person. Not in this context, where I'll have to interact professionally with people and not in a familial societal context.... It's hard to explain.
Another thing I noticed is that I'm not as able to "go" as I was before...I was always ready to kick someone's ass - ready and willing and able. Is that a part of ptsd? I'm like that my whole life, just related to people on a different level. I really could to, when I'm like that. It's like I could relate to people, but was always ready to go and put out this vibe that let people know not to f*ck with me.
I feel different; I'm thinking about different things. I'm acting more like a normal person. I'm able to concentrate, almost too much now. I'm not hyper-sexed all the time either as I was before always thinking about it. The fight and flight drive runs off the same circuit as the sexual circuitry; a primitive drive; my higher thinking is intact now. I'm able to reason because my HPA axis is regulated and shut down. It makes emotion regulation easier also.
Anyone else with medication stories?
Thanks..
I am able to do things I couldn't do before, like apply for jobs with confidence - go out and do things. Before, I was just dallying and wasting time. I have to come to the fact that I'll probably never be a people person. Not in this context, where I'll have to interact professionally with people and not in a familial societal context.... It's hard to explain.
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