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How Many Layers Are There And Where Did it Start?

Discussion in 'General' started by beatle_bailey, Nov 19, 2006.

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  1. beatle_bailey

    beatle_bailey Active Member

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    :dontknow:
    when I was a kid I got hit in the hear 1st by a by a 2ft by2ft peice of 1/4 in. falling steal ,,, later hit square in te forhead with a 32 in. base ball bat ,,, 15y yrs old a real good home made bomb blew up in my pants pocket , It blew the pants right of of my little Butt ,, 1st 2nd & 3rd degree burns covered my mid section ,, man that hurt , and more - exct, exct,
    can we get PTSD from more than one incident ,,, like from many differant times being exposed to tramatic expiereances ,, like the death of a lover , or a stranger die in your hands ,, or to feel so utterly alone in the world and have no hope of ever knowing releaf for the pain , boath from mental P and psys pain ,from the things you've done and the things that have happened to you , from deing told you have AIDS to going thru Hep-C treatment {Peg-Itron} for a year, and the treatment almost killing you , Thank God it worked ,, but that was torture Because none of my so called friends were tere for me ,,, some times we are so alone,, or is that part of PTSD ,,, is the fact I was in a federal pen signiffecant
    to many questions
    it effects my every day beatle bailey :dontknow: :crazy: :fight:
     
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  3. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    So you have a little extra of Murphy's law on your side too I see!
     
  4. beatle_bailey

    beatle_bailey Active Member

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    How many layers are there and when did it all start,,, PTSD

    MUPHY'S LAW thats good !!! I have bin told if it wasn't for bad luck , I wouldn't have any luck at all ,,
    I keep remembering so many things that happened and don't know how much to talk about or how mmuch they maay have impacted me ,,, my friend told me of a diary that they keep , I don't even know where I would start a diary ,,
     
  5. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    My hubs tells me that too... And heaven forbid I start a sentence "well, at least such and such did not happen..." Wait 5 minutes LOL.

    [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/forum32.html[/DLMURL] Pick the diary forum of your choosing and keep in mind the more public, the more feed back you will get and support. You don't really need a starting point really, just jump in with what is currently in your head and as you keep it up you will see most of it is out before you know you did it. It really helps getting it out of you. Good luck!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 21, 2015
  6. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Beatle, PTSD is only caused once, and once you have it, you have it for life. It is not curable. PTSD is only obtained from absolute abnormal events in life, not just daily accidents, death of loved one's, friends and so forth. The event itself must be abnormally traumatic itself, but more importantly your role within that event must give you the feeling of death to yourself, helplessness or horror to such a high degree to actually cause the chemical imbalance within your brain. To give you an idea about the significant trauma involved to cause PTSD itself, opposed to normal life losses, read [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread1114.html[/DLMURL]
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2015
  7. beatle_bailey

    beatle_bailey Active Member

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    talk about layers

    Have you ever witnessed the death, torture, rape or beating of another person in war or crime?
    Have you ever seen someone die or be badly injured in a car, aeroplane or other such accident?
    Have you ever witnessed the death, torture, rape or beating of another person in war or crime?
    Were you ever injured in a burglary, robbery, mugging or other criminal episode; a car, boat, bicycle, aeroplane or other vehicle accident

    witnessing death and injury; making life and death decisions

    Anthony you asked the other day about other significant things in my life

    Vieled mantioned Murphy's Law ,,

    Do other things keep adding on to and increase or just complicate the layers we have to dig thru to get to the bottem of this shit!!!!
    I can't do detail today
    Beatle
     
  8. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    They add, and complicate at the same time. For example, myself. My first deployment overseas was pretty horrific to say the least in regard to things I witnessed, and even ended up in, had no weapons as it was humanitarian aid and we were not their to protect, but to feed and help people survive. I came home from that, certainly didn't have PTSD, but I did drink more. My drinking subsided within a couple of months and all was good again.

    My next deployment, no weapons again as we were present for logistic support only, not to actually protect anything as such, just aid, supply and try and help Bouganville rebuild itself a bit. Well, I only had one or two incidents in nearly 5 months on that deployment, but other factors grew upon me such as the isolation, loneliness and so forth. Got home from that and drinking increased heavily for months afterwards. Again, subsided and I was all good once again.

    Next deployment, weapons and classified war zone. The first classified war zone since Vietnam, and let me just say, the shit was surreal to put it mildly. Events, humanity, constant alertness, sheer hours worked daily, gun piquets and so the list goes on. Got home, drunk heavily, then fell the fu*k apart, to put it mildly. Kicked out wife, kids, went of the rails. Drunk a bottle of spirits per day, whilst working full-time still. Was in a new locality as I had come home to move into a training position and train the new soldiers, get them ready, provide my experience then send them off overseas to give the others a break. Very under manned, short staffed and heavily worked. Training brand new recruits in their trade to send them overseas. After about 6 months, I finally cut my drinking back by half and started to get my life back on some sort of path once again.

    Finally got myself past what I now know was PTSD, settled myself but still drunk heavily to suppress all the trauma. Deployed again, this time as the Company Sargeant Major of the rotation. Security was my primary role, discipline, moral and so forth. Went into work mode as I do, and left all the shit suppressed. Got home and fell over worse than ever.

    Decided to really cut back the drinking and gave up smoking. Bad bad choices those one's. That is when PTSD grabbed me and dragged me to depths of myself that I never knew existed.

    Basically, this and lots more all accumulated. Sure, I can look back now and pinpoint when I got PTSD, being the end of 1999, but it was a gradual increase, then even when I had it unknowlingly, still more trauma increased upon me which all only complicated PTSD that much more.

    It took me about 3 years of actively working hard to get through my shit, and even today, I am still working on it all, because I still cannot work, I still cannot handle helicopters flying overhead me on the rooftops... but I can handle most things in moderation and with preparation.

    I guess this is why I say to people, that once we have PTSD we can't just deal with the trauma/s that caused the PTSD, but instead we have to go back and look at our entire life, because anything we keep secret, fear or hide fuels our PTSD. Then the fun job also is to learn how to manage PTSD itself, as it is a seperate entity to our trauma once produced.

    The fun just keeps on rolling basically...
     
  9. beatle_bailey

    beatle_bailey Active Member

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    points made

    Thanks Anthony ,
    today is better ,, I tried to answer a thread last night and after over an hour of pecking at this awful key board I lost the whole thing ,,,, IT SHORLY PISSED ME OFF ,,, But I just walked away from It ,,,,
    talking about the layers helps ,,, it duz get ruff som time ,,,
    But you made me LOL when you said you quit the drinking and smoking at the same time and it was a bad Idea ,,, bin there ,,, man what a horror show that was ,, man can I relate ,, My friend got the same reaction ,, then we LOLed together ,,, we do relate well ,,, :doh:

    thanks again for the understandin MATE
     
  10. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Beatle,

    I was originally diagnosed with PTSD because of dealing with my oldest daughter hurting herself and talking suicide (this lasted for two years) and the fact that this started happening after my father died and before my sister died (all of this in a twelve month period) exaserbated this situation. Then, in therapy, my doctor tells me that when I was molested at ten years old is when the PTSD started. I'm still wrapping my mind around that one.

    My therapist told me that when you get PTSD and then have future trauma, that to the part of the brain that is affected by the trauma, it's 'old home week'. That that part of your brain knows just what to do with the stress from trauma and how to store it. And it's also easier to access it during times of stress. He calls PTSD the gift that keeps on giving!

    What Anthony said about reexamining your whole life and finding out what's fueling the PTSD is hard. Especially when a lot of stuff in your past you'd rather not think about ever again...but have to in order to heal.

    When I was speaking to my mother about my newest PTSD development, she asked me if there was anything else that was going to come to the surface. All I could do was laugh and say, 'I hope to hell not!!!!!'
     
  11. beatle_bailey

    beatle_bailey Active Member

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    beatle bailey

    Hello again Marlene
    It's bin a while Ha Ha
    aint that the truth lot of layers
    since I kind a grew up in the bar at my Dad's side ,,, and loved the whole seen ,, no wonder I grew up an alcee ,,, so very soon in life I found I could shut out or num feelingsvery soon I would drink every chance I could after Donna died I drank all the time ,, never drank the water or coffe just beer and when I wanted to get out came the hard stuff ,, so I Knew and didn't that I was stuffing all the shit ,,, bub i also didn't care ,,, The best thing I eever had in life was ripped out of my life ,,, I finaly morned Donna death 25 yrs later
    It sounds like you have your burden to deal with ,,, and really every ones pain is the same ,, it is the worst thing that has ever happened ,,
    mine is no greater than yours because it yours , its there till we learn how to live with it ,,, out of desperation I found somthing that worked for a good while , but I need more ,, so here we are , trying new things with hope in our hearts ,,
    talk more later Beatle Bailey
    PS,, Iewas in A co. 75th Ranger we were attached to the 1st cav Div , ft Hood TX ,, 1973 -75 were you there then ,, :sleeping: soon
     
  12. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Oh yeah!!!!!!!!!!

    We were at Ft. Hood in the late 80's-early 90's. My husband was in an armor unit. By the time we got to Texas, I had changed my title from soldier to Army wife. LOL
     
  13. sibemom

    sibemom Active Member

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    My doc explained to me very similar what Anthony posted about PTSD. I went through many many traumas in my life pre accident, I was an abused wife, I had been sexualy assaulted, deaths in the family, betrayals etc.... but I did not have PTSD then. I got PTSD when I opened my eyes after being propelled by the car that hit me and saw it coming full force to run me over while I was on the ground, we have decided THAT WAS THE MOMENT I got the PTSD. Even writting that down causes me to get all clamy and ill but I have made progress with being able to finally SAY IT. It was not aware to me at first untill treatments were not working, I had horriable nightmares, flashbacks etc... The more diagnosis they came up with about things that were wrong with me the more intense my symptoms became, and yes I had flashbacks to previous truama's but that was all part of this thing finally hitting me. My doc also explained to me that they have no idea why some people get it and some people do not. They do not know if past trauma is a per coursor for it, they just do not know. Some people can go through horriable situations and not be affected and others can have one life threatening trauma and WHAM there it is and IT AINT LEAVING. I know that with me I have made some great steps forward in the management of this but when those steps back come they come with a vengance. Right now I am working on triggers. I am being more aware with therapy which things trigger epsiodes and although I have a long way to go with getting those under controll, I still feel hopeful that I can. Once my pain gets better controlled I know that will help because that constant reminder will fade. Thanksgiving Day was the 1 year aniversary of my accident and IT WAS A VERY EMOTIONAL time for me. I got through it better than I expected so that was a leap forward. I am learning to take each day as it comes and do my best to find a positive about it even if it turns out to be less than good. When will things go back to normal? NEVER, things will never be the same as they were, and now I just have to learn how to accept the differences, sometimes that is a hard thing to do too.
     
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