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How To Avoid Telling Coworkers About Your Ptsd

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HëllaBubz

MyPTSD Pro
I used to be a personal careri in 2008, and after a year and a half, I moved onto a Div II traineeship for nursing.

3 months in I was indecently assaulted by a coworker after weeks of sexual harassment and physical intimidation from him, and within 6 months of that, I had quit work with what my psych calls a 'full hand of PTSD', as I was unable to study, work alone, function, or even talk because I kept snapping my teeth together so hard that the enamel is really worn down.

The assault was in December of 2009, and I have finally cracked the shits and decided to 'get back on the horse', so to speak, after hearing an under the breath jibe from my brother in law to the effect of 'people who fall down should stay down.'

Needless to say, he is the poster child for workplace bullies and corporate tramplers who make other people quit work because he goes out of his way to TRY to get them to quit, merely because he doesn't like them.

That was last Thursday, and last night I was talking to a girlfriend of mine, who was in a horrific car crash which killed her mother instantly, and had her arm amputated and then reattached at the shoulder, when she was 17. She is now 30, married with 3 girls.

She was telling me that she wrote a cover letter after being told that she had too much in her way to ever work, explaining how her handicap was actually helping, and how she has managed milestones that the doctors told her would never happen, and to 'get used to never having the use of your arm or hand again.'

Needless to say, she got heaps of job offers because of her can-do attitude, and as she said to me, you should go back and prove to yourself that you can do it, because you are a fantastic carer/nurse, and the asshole who assaulted you should be having the nightmares and hell, not you......get back on the horse and go for it.

And for the first time in 3 years, I actually felt like I could do it, and that I was going to do it.:tup:

I've now found a nursing home less than 500m down the road from me, I had the interview 3 hours ago, and I start a trial shift tomorrow at 0700.

The only person who knows about my crap past is the receptionist, and as she said, they'll only judge you, if you're having a bad day, then don't feel bad, you're just having a bad day, she was fabulously supportive, and took a massive shine to me the moment we met, she said I'm like her little sister and she admires me so much for being so level headed, mature and coping with all the crap.:inlove:

And now to my question......how am I going to field questions about my past without revealing the shit that happened?

I don't want to talk about it with any of my new co-workers, but at the same time, I'm at a loss as to find something bland, non committal and generic to say if I get questioned, as I've always been and upfront and painfully honest person.:rolleyes:

Does anyone out there have any senarios and potential advice they could give me?
I'm only 22, I don't know enough about people and politics to play the game without some moral support, and I can't ask my partner, because he has never been in this situation, and so has been unable to give me relevant or useful information.

N.P. Please note that I am NOT bragging about the compliments I was given.....well maybe a little, compliments from strangers are so rare that I can't help preening my feathers a little in private! :notworthy::D
 
Congratulations on getting the job!! Well done :D

I think you are over-analysing potential situations. Just learn to be yourself. You have done amazingly well so far. There's no need to feel like you have to 'field' questions. Just be yourself.

I'm not sure what questions you are expecting, but I'm sure you can blag it, until you work out who you can trust.

Workplaces are very difficult. There will always be co-workers who are gossips, and just want to talk about others, but equally, you will meet some very genuine people, who want to be friends and support you both personally, and in your career.

I don't know your story, or your history, but whatever has happened to you isn't your fault. You need to rid any guilt, in order to be honest about your past. But equally you don't have to wear your heart on your sleeve. You can be selective with who you choose to talk to.

Just say you've been having a hard time (no details), but state how you are very well now, and loving work, and the social aspects of it.

People are off work for all sorts of reasons. Personal, physical, mental - Don't judge your co-workers asking why - they're probably just trying to get to know you.

Relax . . . . . Whilst PTSD and your mental health is likely to be at the forefront of your brain, it won't be the first thing that your new colleagues think about. They probably just want to know about your boyfriends, your taste in fashion, and whether you want to join them for a night out :D

Just try to enjoy it, and don't over-think it ;)
 
Hey Guys,

My shift went really well today, for the first time EVER, I had NO anxiety or stress for the whole shift, and they were really pleased with me.

I asked them if there was any negative feedback, or anything I needed to improve, and the CEO said that there was absolutely nothing, and that I could consider myself hired!

I also got some really positive feedback from some of the residents who were considered difficult to work with, so overall, I'm pretty damn pleased with myself!

When several different people asked at different times as to why I left nursing, I just said that I needed a little break, and worked in I.T for a while, and they were happy with that.

I have ALWAYS, ALWAYS been nervous and really anxious whenever I went to work, almost dreading it, but not this time. Perhaps it's because I don't mind walking out the door if this isn't right for me.

Thank you for all your support guys, I guess now it's just up to me to make sure that I maintain boundaries, and don't relax and volunteer information that isn't absolutely needed.
 
congratulations way to go.PNG
 
I am so glad to see things are going well for you, after everything you definitely deserve it! And it sounds like you're doing a fabulous job. CEO's are usually brutally honest, I imagine if they say there is nothing, then you are impressing them. Your answer was a great one. I know how it feels to be honest to a fault when asked questions, but I would back up what cherryblossom said. Some people care, but most just want something to gossip about. If you ever do decide to tell anyone, make sure you've built up a very good and strong relationship with the person beforehand. When telling people personal information though, I always make sure in the workplace and amongst family that I never say anything that would devastate me if everyone knew.
 
Thanks guys.

At the moment, I've decided to keep my work status to myself, my best friend and bf, and although it is exciting to share awesome news like that, I don't need the scrutiny or all the questions along with it.:sneaky:

I was really worried that I had given the wrong answer regarding why I had left, but to be honest, if they don't know anything is wrong, they won't suspect any answer I give, so its just my own head f*cking with me!!!!........again!!!:eek::rolleyes:
 
Good work getting hired! I think your answer about your absence was spot-on. The fact is, when people ask questions like that, they are mostly looking for an answer, any answer, and they are not going to analyze it. If you should ever run upon a pushy coworker, giving the same answer 2-3 times in a row tells them you won't be more forthcoming and they back off.

Enjoy your work!
 
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