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General How To Deal With Family

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Julesnaz

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It's getting harder and harder for me to deal with my sister. She makes everything her business when it's not. I recently went to take a shower and she comes out with "you didn't even brush your hair yet. I can't wrap my head around how you and dad live." Really? Why does it matter if I hadn't brushed my hair yet today? She got up and got dressed to sit and read. What's the difference if I choose to stay in my pjs. She does this all the time. She makes lots of comments on how I do nothing, even though I do but because she's not home to see it I "do nothing." I end up staying in my room as much as possible when she's home because all she does is yell and complain so that's all she sees. Does anyone have any advice to not let this get to me so much? I've been trying to take care of myself so I don't have so much stress. I'm on new meds too so that doesn't help my mood.
 
This has been one of those posts I keep starting... And walking away from because it's so charged.

Pt.I
I come from a great family... With no boundaries. Which is fine in small doses, and drives me absolutely insane over extended periods. My son has actually made looney toons like signs so he doesn't have to actually speak some of his responses, just reaches into his pocket and pulls out the flash cards. My two favorites are

"No. Just no." &
"It's none of your business."

If I were going to make some I'd add
"10,000 complaints" &
"I don't pack for guilt trips." &
"Really. He's right. It's none of your business."

I'm a very direct, straightforward person. My mother... Is not. If she wants to know something, she'll ask... a question 30 or 40 questions removed from what she actually wants to know. :confused: Hello! Does anyone see the real question on the horizon??? :watching: Anyone? Oh my dear god, woman! I am not going to spend the next half hour to the end of eternity, beating around the bush, plumbing the depths of information that is none of your concern, only so that we might -by the spring thaw- actually get to what is on your mind! :banghead: Aaaaaah. I love my mother. She's actually one of my closest friends. As long as we don't live together. Her good qualities far outweigh any minor irritations. She's just solid, good people. Who has the inhuman ability to make me screw my face into 30 kinds of Oni-masks. <Chuckling> Imagine Elvis sticks his finger into a light socket
:wtf::inpain::O_o::meh::eek::confused::facepalm::wideeyed::dead::hungover::stop::banghead::bag::cautious:

I don't play passive aggressive. Which drives her nuts in return, but I refuse to negotiate with emotional blackmailers. Nope. Huh-uh. Not gonna do it. Feed them once, and it only encourages them. So, really, I treat most of my family like toddlers. Which may sound bad, but really, it's like being up to my neck in 3yos some times. My standard rule for dealing with toddlers:

When do we yell? When there's danger or you're far away.
If you whine, you don't get what you want.
If you throw a fit, you don't get what you want and you go on timeout (or, in this case, me)
Never get emotionally invested in an argument with a child.
Never make threats/promises you won't follow through with
Swift, immediate, justice.
If you ask a silly question, you get a silly answer.
"No" is always an okay answer to any question.
Don't ask if they don't have a choice or a say in what will happen, tell.
Timeouts are not punishment. They're time to let hot rage dissipate and cool reason return.
Count to 5 before losing your mind.
Always say please & thank you.
Make a big deal out of good behavior. Yay!!!
Don't reward bad behavior.
 
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