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How to get to stuff unreachable just under the surface?

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lostforgottensoul

MyPTSD Pro
I am unsure where this would go. I am wondering how one deals with or reaches stuff just under the suface? I can feel it. I know it's there but I can't get to it and I am waiting and waiting, not trying to reach for it or trying to make it come up but instead just waiting, thinking it will come up with time but it isn't and it's driving me insane! I know it's stuff I need to deal with but I can't seem to reach it to deal with it.

I know me trying too hard to do something prevented me from doing it and it's when I stopped trying was I able to but that's not working. Trying isn't either. So I am unsure.

I also don't want it to come all at once as it's huge, very heavy stuff and I fear it will drown me. Maybe that's my issue? That fear? I'm not sure. Anyone have any suggestions?
 
You are wise not to want to deal with it all at once, that is why in therapy, we deal with stuff a little bit at a time. I am not a therapist, just someone who has been in therapy for quite some time.

I hope you are in therapy too? If not, I would suggest it, because once this is uncovered, you will need guidance in how to deal with it, and a therapist can help you with that end of it a lot. Therapy has been so helpful to me in so many ways. My therapist gives me gentle advice, with the proviso that if that isn't something I think I can or would do, to ignore it.

On the other hand, she has given me a lot of great advice that I have used with some success and the one time I did not take her advice that I recall, I am still paying the price now! LOL...

I've learned now that, that piece of advice is very valuable. She said that when you say "No." you don't need to explain it further. "No." means "No." and nothing further need be said. I try to remember that now, as it is priceless advice!!! When you try to explain why you are saying "No." it leaves the door open for discussion and when that happens, someone can change your mind. "No." is a very valuable word. We with PTSD need to use that word maybe more often than we do, as in my case anyway, "No." was beaten out of me at a very young age.

So I have had to relearn how to say, "No." and really mean it.

Good luck to you in what ever you decide to do with your situation.
 
Im in therapy. I just can't reach any of this stuff so I can't process it in therapy. It feels like wasting my sessions. I told my therapist that its a bunch of heavy stuff just under the surface but he didnt say how to get to it.
 
Usually, I have found anyway, that when we are ready to deal with it, bit by bit, it will become available to us. The mind has a protective thing about it, so that if you are not ready to deal with it yet, the mind will protect itself from the heaviness of something. When you are ready, it will come. So patience is in order, and I know, that is tough advice to follow, I totally understand. Just keep at therapy, because even though what seems to be "wasting sessions" is actually the preliminary work that is needed to get you ready to deal with this stuff so that when your mind does release it, you will be ready to deal with it. So hang in there!
 
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Its not really memories but feelings. Its a lot and I can feel them, that they are there but I cannot name them nor put words to them. I just feel like I am avoiding rather then dealing. "After shocks" are coming as well. I fear whats that with these after shocks will crush me. Maybe a non-rational fear. I don't know.
 
So, my therapist also said time. He said when big changes happen, things start to become unaccessiable. I am trying to figure out how to do life now 100% alone (except for Chopper) for the first time since my accident and that is proving to be very difficult. I don't have someone here to sort of pick up the house a bit nor to help me with some things and I think that is why I am seeing myself relying much more on my service dog in training (Chopper). I thought the relying on him more physically was due to my phyiscal self going downhill quickly and that likely is also the case and was told that was going to happen but I think part of it is due to being now 100% alone, besides him.

So, anyway, while I am trying to figure out how to do life. How that looks without another person and it just being me and a service dog, and while figuring all of that out, this storm I can feel just under the surface will likely stay unaccessable. And, I think thats a good thing as I'd be f*cked if I had to figure out how to do life now alone while an emotional storm is going on. So, I guess I should be grateful its unaccessable. Its not that I'm not grateful. I was just worried about avoiding but I guess thats not what this is. So, I will continue to try to figure out how to do life being alone with a service dog in training, while still training him, and just let this storm under the surface be and deal with whatever comes up when it does.
 
I was numb and couldn't cry for a long time and I started having what I think were similar feelings. I suddenly noticed there were bubbles(weird analogy) around with parts of me trapped in them kind of like in Cinderella(kind of makes sense now). When I look back maybe they were like warning bubbles telling me to "don't be startled but I'm here, get yourself ready in case I pop" they eventually popped and sometimes I wonder if I would have been better of not notcing the bubbles and continuous to let them float unsupervised
 
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