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Relationship Husband 5 Weeks Away, What About Me?

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It is 5 weeks already. He lives in a cabin in the woods on a campside. We see each ofher about three to four times a week when he brings the dog cause he has to work. He likes to work, it gives him purpose to get up and he feels at home there. He is a cup. He works inside, not in uniform, cause his ptsd.
So the dog, he drops her off and then we see each other. He gives me always a very big hug. And then a swift kiss. We talk a bit together. About how he is doing. About little things. Sometimes about big things. Between those visits we dont have any contact. I give him space, cause he needs it and it is the last thing I can do to perhaps save our marriage. He already told me he wanted out of our marriage, but in this condtion he is now he musnt take big dissisions. So I bagged him to go in counseling togehter, but after his therapy for the PTSD. He is not himself, I keep telling me over and over again. You just doesnt throw away a very good, nice, loving marriage we had for 15 years! In five months time stop loving me, without telling me, that is not normal. He went cold inside. Thats is the PTSD. I am sure. The trouble is that he doesnt know it. Everybody around us keep telling me that he will come back again. That we have such a love for each other, that it will come back to him. I hope so!
So the only thing I can do now, is doing nothing. Giving him space, no pressure. Let him focus on himself. The first four weeks were awfull. I was in total panic and dispare, couldnt stop crying. It never ever came into my mind that we would not get old together. We had such plans, such love together. How did this happen? Sorry, crying again. :cry::cry:
But I am getting better now, less crying, less panic. Getting used of sleeping alone, going places alone.
He will be fine in time, I am sure. He has this PTSD for a long time and before he managed it. Due to all things that happend last year, me getting leukemia is one thing of it, it came back. And worse then before. But he will overcome this, will learn how to deal with it. He is a very grounded, stabel man. Normally.

Will he come back home? Will he love me again? Can we save our marriage? I love him so much. Give him space. And hoping he remembers he loves me.
 
Sending you positive wishes that all will work out for you soon. Can only imagine how difficult thi...

Thanks. You wrote the right word: survivor! I am thinking about taking a tattoo with that word, and that means a lot: i never ever wanted a tattoo! Hated it. But now, after all I went through with myself and with the love off my love, to remind me and other people: I am a survivor!
 
Great! I'm a survivor too. Doesn't mean everything's great but it does mean something powerful.[/QU...
At the moment I dont feel like a survivor. It goes up and down. Dont know what to do, what not to do, what to say, what not to say. Keep questioning everything I do and say and evrything he does and says. I just want the love of my live back! :cry:
 
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