Peer support subsequent to trauma contributes to full recovery

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Husband Has Ptsd And Wont Get Help.

Discussion in 'PTSD Relationships' started by armywife05, Jun 11, 2011.

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  1. armywife05

    armywife05 New Member

    My husband just got back from Afghanistan in Dec. The first few months he was fine and now things have just gotten worse and worse. I guess the "honey moon phase" of his homecoming has worn off. My husband has such a short fuse now. My older son has ADHD and my husband can not stand him at all. It is hard dealing with some of his hyper activeness/tantrums but normally my husband is laid back and it doesnt bother him. It use to take a lot just to make him mad. Now he's angry all the time. He yells at my oldest son alot (he is not his biological father but has been there since my son was 1 and he is now almost 6.) He does not lash out on our youngest son (who is my husbands). I feel like he is always lashing out on me and my oldest son. We are always walking on egg shells around him. I hate living like this. My husband thinks that all of the problems are because of me and my older son, but its not. It's him. He has been to counseling twice. His base is very booked up with people suffering from PTSD/TBI, etc. The last appointment they went to he got on anti-Depression medication and medication for his Anxiety. He also got sleeping pills (which he does not need). My husband abuses the sleeping pills. He takes one and drinks a buncha beers and he has become worse since starting these pills. His mood swings are even worse now. Now he has started to treat me even worse. He treats me like complete garbage. He is always cold and distant with me. He doesnt listen to me when i try to talk to him, because he thinks its me. He will not admit something is wrong. If i try to bring it up he says things like "ok i go to Afghanistan and come home and im crazy." I do not say he is crazy to him. He doesnt talk about what he has seen and done over in Afghanistan (which i know is normal). But really he has built a wall a round him and i do not even think theres any fixing it. I am ready to file for divorce. I want to leave before it gets worse. I do not want my kids affected by this.

    Whats the best way to let him know i am done. I have tried and i have been through enough. I went through him treating me like garbage before he deployed because he was afraid and he took it all out on me. Then i was supportive the whole year long deployment and i was the only one there for him (his mom and siblings didnt even try to contact him while he was gone). We had a good relationship while he was deployed. I went through the stress of the deployment and raising two kids alone without him and worrying if he was gonna come home alive or not. Now im dealing with the mood swings and him treating me like garbage again like he did before he even deployed. he has changed so much since joining the army and even more so since coming home from Afghanistan. I am just ready to leave.
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  3. njray

    njray Well-Known Member

    I am saddened to view your story....... It sound like the both of you (husband and you) and your children have been through a lot and have been exposed to a lot over the last year or two.. I am not of Military background so to be honest what support in terms of medical and other your husband and you may be able to receive because of his PTSD dx. I am not sure. That said I hope there might be some support groups you might be able to reach out to for assistance on base as you being a supporter of one that has Combat PTSD and one that may be suffering from unnecessary trauma yourself (your children also) because of his experiences and symptoms of his PTSD. I suspect others here will reach out to you in support as I. This is a great venue to outlet your feelings through keyboarding so please know that you you are among friends and we are listening and caring....... there is a "Combat PTSD forum" as well. You might want to view that site also as they have a supporter and victim sections there as well.......
  4. Srain

    Srain "Please don't tell me not to cry."
    Premium Member

    I'm so very sorry for all that you and your family are going through. I'm sick for what your children are experiencing. My feeling is first and foremost the kids. They do not need to be exposed to abusive behavior. I more than understand PTSD, not combat related but now that he is home he has a responsibility not add Abuse to the family and this means the children, there is never an excuse for that, PTSD or not. That's how I feel about it and as a child of abuse I feel extremely strong about this, he is crossing the line and needs to be made aware of it. Sometimes the best way to do it is in writing.

    If you are not getting help yourself then it might be a good idea that you do so for you and your kids to understand exactly what is going on and how to handle the situation. I understand that funds are more than likely extremely low, however, at this point for you and your children's sake he has to be made aware that there are consequences for his actions and abusing his medications are not only harming himself but his family as well. I would suggest getting all the information you can about PTSD that you can.

    You are all in thoughts and prayers,
    njray likes this.
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