I feel like I could never get over it...Never
I have tried so hard, for so many years. I've been seeing a therapist and she is very nice. We worked out plans. We talked about how to distract my thoughts and how to avoid the anxiety. She listened to me so patiently and gave me such convincing plans. We thought we figured it out. I thought I was finally in control. I thought I would finally be strong and be able to face it. When I watch the sun comes up in the morning I thought I was healed, or at least getting better. I thought there was hope. But I forgot about the night, the darkness, the despair, the doom.
Everything fails, over and over again. Imagination keeps running wild, and the images keep coming back. I try to tell myself what to think, but I don't think, I see and I feel. It is so powerful I can't resist it. I can't get over it. Nobody understands. My family starts to blame me for not being strong enough. I know I'm not strong enough. But I just can't do it....It is so scary and so dreadful and so painful. I can't face it. I can't be there again and go through all that again. I can't take medication because my family doesn't approve it and I feel uncomfortable taking it. I feel that there is no hope left for me in the whole world. I will never get well again.
How do you get over it? I have been trying so hard but I can't do it. It's ruining my life and it's making my family upset. I hate myself for being so weak, but I can't get over it....I'm sorry...This is my first post here. I should probably say something nicer. But I just feel so hopeless I don't know where to go or what to do. How do you get better? How, when it looks so impossible? I'm so tired...and in complete despair. I want to give up the fight, but I don't even know how to do that...
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I have tried so hard, for so many years. I've been seeing a therapist and she is very nice. We worked out plans. We talked about how to distract my thoughts and how to avoid the anxiety. She listened to me so patiently and gave me such convincing plans. We thought we figured it out. I thought I was finally in control. I thought I would finally be strong and be able to face it. When I watch the sun comes up in the morning I thought I was healed, or at least getting better. I thought there was hope. But I forgot about the night, the darkness, the despair, the doom.
Everything fails, over and over again. Imagination keeps running wild, and the images keep coming back. I try to tell myself what to think, but I don't think, I see and I feel. It is so powerful I can't resist it. I can't get over it. Nobody understands. My family starts to blame me for not being strong enough. I know I'm not strong enough. But I just can't do it....It is so scary and so dreadful and so painful. I can't face it. I can't be there again and go through all that again. I can't take medication because my family doesn't approve it and I feel uncomfortable taking it. I feel that there is no hope left for me in the whole world. I will never get well again.
How do you get over it? I have been trying so hard but I can't do it. It's ruining my life and it's making my family upset. I hate myself for being so weak, but I can't get over it....I'm sorry...This is my first post here. I should probably say something nicer. But I just feel so hopeless I don't know where to go or what to do. How do you get better? How, when it looks so impossible? I'm so tired...and in complete despair. I want to give up the fight, but I don't even know how to do that...
<Full line spaces inserted between paragraphs by Amethist.>