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I don't know how to help anyone!!!

  • Thread starter Deleted member 37474
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Deleted member 37474

Too much pain and ideation on this site and I don't know how to help people! I am actually feeling like I am being selfish because I don't want my friends on here to die because of how it will impact me! It makes me lose hope for healing. It makes me think that everything is pointless. Why are we here coping and discussing all of our horrific experiences if it is not to lean on each other and get better?

And I want to follow peoples' diaries and send pm's and be encouraging but I don't know what to say!!! I don't know how to tell someone to snap out of it, I have seen you hopeful and happy just a few weeks ago!!! Wtf.

Honestly, when I am upset, I wish that I could dig a big hole and curl up inside of it, and anyone who is sad and depressed and tired of this shit is welcome to come in here with me. I will hold you in my arms. Comfort that none of us got. Comfort that we all need, but please don't give up. We can work together after our rest in this hole and climb out of here!

Please list things that you say to help others out of their hole and maybe also some stuff that you shouldn't say.
 
You have done a lot to support me. You have listened to me vent when I needed it. You have made me feel validated. That in it's self is huge

Personally I avoid diaries. I do what I can, when I can. Sometimes I am able to give more, other times I need more.

When you are able to support, just think about what you would need in that situation.

What not to say? There is a list of what not to say to a PTSD sufferer somewhere. Things like; move on, it was in the past, get over it, it's not that bad, aren't you over that already, other people have it worse... those are pretty much the big no-no's. I would recommend trying to tell someone to snap out of it either. People can't control their emotions, only their actions.

:hug::hug::hug: I just might need to take you up on the offer for comfort in the future. It also goes both ways, so if that what you need, just ask.
 
People have said well meaning stuff to me that I really hate in reference to my trauma (for example: "don't give him all the power"), so I can only imagine me saying the wrong thing, making it worse and then it being my fault if they do follow through.
 
You have done a lot to support me. You have listened to me vent when I needed it. You have made me fee...
I wouldn't want to actually say "snap out of it" to someone, that is what I am anxiously feeling on the inside when I watch people falling to pieces before my eyes. Kind of like in a flashback and you yell, Stop!!! I wish that would work for suicide.:(
 
If they make that decision, I guarantee you that you saying the wrong thing won't even show up as a blip on the radar compared to the things they suffered to make them want to end it all. Unless you were abusive to them, I promise that you would not be responsible. You can't take on the responsibility of someones choice. I am suicide survivor. The last thing I ever said to my mom was that she was being ridiculous and over reacting about not getting a straw with her milkshake. I told her get over it and get a spoon. 2 weeks later she took 30 Vicodin all at once.
So, basically what I am saying is I have had 15 year to go over logic of feeling guilty about saying something that might push someone over the edge. Frankly, I think support helps, abusive statements can hurt, but in the end if someones mind is made up, nothing anyone says or does amounts to a drop in the bucket compared to the trauma or depression that made them feel suicidal to begin with.
 
I know exactly and I even said that on here awhile ago about hating what the people said back to me in reference to my trauma. Sending hugs and stuff lol I used to think 'how stupid and pointless.'

But I got better and then I got better some more and I was not sure I was getting better like I didn't believe I had PTSD and then something happened.

I was reading and lurking like I had been for years and something rang a bell. Someone was feeling exactly like I had and i was not feeling like that anymore and I knew the difference. I just waded right in and I said basically I felt like you do and now I don't so I know this is possible for you so keep going and I had no doubts about what I was saying, I was sure.

So what I'm saying is I have been reading you and it has helped me and even though you might not like what I'm saying I'm sure. I'm sure because I could've written your post awhile ago and now I feel different and yes I feel better and I want to pay that back somehow because I owe.

So keep going because you are active and you write well and your aware and because you want to I'm sure you'll help lots of people and thank you.
 
You know, I've been thinking of this recently. When I first came here (I think anyway) I posted a lot and supported way little. But the more I read the more I identified with this and that here and there.

I do remember in the really early time of being here, that I figured out a small part inside of, I think one maybe two threads. It felt amazing but I had no idea how to give to others. Or so I thought.

I always remember one of my thread in particular. Everyone that posted were all in agreement, and none of that helped me. But then there was this one person. This one person that spoke up from the lot of everyone to say "try this" and I did and it not only worked, it single handly stopped a HUGE part of my trauma and reenacting that part of my trauma which was a HUGE issue today. What if that one person didnt speak up?

So, if you can give support, give it. If you have an opinion of what could help, give it. Be that one that speaks up. And if hugs and "I feel ya" is all you can give, those mean the world to me too. Usually, when I am posting, I am not looking for a specific something but rather support and all of that is support.
 
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