• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

I don't take criticism or rejection well, do you?

Status
Not open for further replies.
The above was two posts, one directed at the person I replied to, Tonadic Thoughts, and one for just everyone in general. Somehow, it got combined into the one post directed at Tornadic Thoughts. This was not my doing, and makes it look like the whole post was directed at that one person, which it was not.
 
My late, older brother, who was a devout Christian, taught me to "give it up to God" as he called it. If something bothers you, every time you think about it, stop and ask God to take the burden. That's what he did, and it worked for him. If it doesn't resonate with you, ignore it, just passing it on.
 
You were right, @SheilaKathy . My apologies. I made time to find what I was trying to remember for clarity as my memory isn't always my best asset. (see below) You in fact never did say "damn yankee", but rather, "All he knows how to be is a "Yankee" and "Connecticut Yankee" at that." My subconscious must have automatically replaced your words with what I was so used to hearing the most of in the environment I was raised in. Sorry for misquoting you in my initial post.

"...I told this man, who has been bullied like I have by this bully, that the bully comes from a whole different culture than we do. He agreed. He said the bully has no idea how to be a true Southerner or what it is like to live in the South of the U.S.A. I had to agree. I have lived here 7 years now, so I know how things go, how things are. However, this bully has only been here maybe 6 months. He does not know the ropes, or what Southern Hospitality is or how to be a gentleman. All he knows how to be is a "Yankee." And a Connecticut Yankee at that. I'm an upstate New Yorker from birth, but I have learned a few Southern ways. I know how to be a lady too, because my mother was a true lady. Her parents were from Europe, so she learned some manners when she was a little girl, and she taught those manners to me too...."
 
My late, older brother, who was a devout Christian, taught me to "give it up to God" as he called it...

I have prayed for this person, for blessings, health, etc. I have also prayed about the situation and continue to do so. For the most part, things have not gotten better, and in fact have seemed to have gotten worse. However, God answers prayers in His way in His timing, so that is no indication as to what He will do about this as time goes on. Right now, I am in the middle of it. When my life is over, I may look back on all this with different "eyes" than I see it with now. In fact, I am pretty sure that I will see it differently then than I do now. None the less, I will be continuing to pray....
 
Last edited:
it is because I am a HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (as has been stated here already), that I don't have the ability to detach. This is just a sad reality I have to deal with and live with. This is my life. Unfortunately.

That's just not true. If it were, then all of the (so-called) 'highly sensitive persons' of the world would be doomed to misery.

You are the one deciding that you cannot change your own responses.

If you choose to believe that, then you will always be miserable in some situation.

The only kind of change we can affect is within ourselves. And believing that a set of personality traits can keep you from changing - it's just not true. It can make things harder, yes.

But I'd encourage you to pray on that, not on the other person changing their behavior.
 
But I'd encourage you to pray on that, not on the other person changing their behavior.

I also agree with this, how are you doing on the book, Codependent No More? Did you finish it? The serenity prayer has helped me so often as long as I remember to use it. We can only change out own attitudes and trying to ask God to change the behaviour of another person is not going to happen because he has given us all free will.

You probably might get offended at me for saying this but I do care for you and you are really seeming to be so stuck on this guy's behavior which you have no control over at all and it seems like you are beating your head against a brick wall in this respect.

You can only change yourself. It is God's plan that we are going to be hated and blamed etc in this world. A good friend just told me this recently. i pass it on to you for your consideration. This is real life and you have no power or control over this person at all. You are going to make yourself very sick from the stress of this situation if you are not nurturing yourself because this guy is not going to help you at all.
 
I haven't read all the replies so forgive me for jumping in.

About a year ago, I was having problems at a job I had just gotten. I had noticed a clear difference in how I was being treated then other employees and thought to myself that I don't deserve that and that I need to find something better and that suits me. Well, I made the mistake of telling my mother, who told me that maybe it's because I don't handle criticism very well.

Sometimes people really do mean well. People notice things but I think, often, wont reflect or empathy with you easily. I think there is a fine line between someone that you care about, who you respect or has a good head on their shoulder to offer the criticism to being with. Sometimes when someone is just pushing what they think "you SHOULD do" verse just pointing out something to you, is a very different way of handling it. It's a type of respect in my mind. And I often wont take someones words to heart if I don't respect them, because normally there are reasons for having such a low opinion. Always look at the source. Is there criticism meant to be helped (like criticism should be) or is judgemental?

My mother was actually wrong about that job she told me to hang on to because I couldn't handle criticism from my boss. In fact, they were hazing me and my next job I was treated with respect and fairly. I was correct in thinking that I deserved to be treated better and in the end I was happier for sticking up for myself.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top