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I don't think i can do this

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Mundz

Learning
Hey all.

So recently started work at a company. My main drive is saving up to get some money for my other half as we are long distance currently and I miss her like crazy. I want to save for her ticket and a little bit extra so I can take her away to the beach and out for meals etc.

This job started out really good at first. I am working in the stockroom and my team for the most part was really chill. The only stress inducing thing I thought at first, was these ancient devices we use to put items away that are prone to crashing out on us, so we end up repeating ourselves like a billion times.

However, we have a team leader that come onto one of my shifts a few days ago and I really don't know how to handle him :( He had a massive go at me on my second shift when I was about to go home and made me stay beyond to do extra stuff, despite me agreeing explicitly with management that I couldn't stay beyond my contracted hours. He also complained about how the work I did was not good enough. I was trying really hard to take it all in and learn from it but his condescending tone really made me feel awkward, because he wasn't talking to me in a managerial manner but more from the perspective I am bigger than you. He isn't even my boss either! However, I did the things he asked and that was that.

However, last night I was walking around trying to find a space to put an item and he said in such a patronising way "are you confused about your job? Your job is to put stuff away, you have to walk and walk around looking for space". Admittedly in that moment I felt really riled up and thought to myself "noooo! really!?, I have been here for four six hour shifts so far, I wondered why the hell the boxes weren't magically floating to the shelves, thanks pal!" It was just such a patronising statement and made me feel so inadequate and inferior :mad:.

The frustrating thing is the company orders massive bulk deliveries in and doesn't even ensure that there is space and for reasons God only knows, they treat the stock room like shop displays. Every item must be lined up at the front of the shelves with nothing behind which I don't understand, because they complain about there being no space but over 1/2 to 3/4 of shelf space is often being lost on making the shelves look all pretty and presentable.

At first I didn't realise this rule, I was trying to be efficient and maximising the space available by neatly stacking and shifting items so I could get the most from the space. However, as I soon found out I was wrong according to company logic :notworthy:. As I set a box down, the guy saw me put it down and said with a massive smirk on his face "mate, come on" I said "no!?", he replied "no" shaking his head still smirking. He said "wow, that's embarrassing" in such a stuck-up holier than thou way, which made me feel so bloody humiliated and exasperated at this point.

A little later on he was back again, as I moved some items to the back and placed some items in front and just started exclaiming "no,no,no,no,no!!" "That is wrong!!!, take it away, that is so bad! You are not doing a good enough job, I will be watching you from now on because this is dreadful!". Then he starts pointing out the items next to them telling me how wrong they were like it was my fault....only I didn't f*cking put those items there!!! Someone else in the team did and I got it in the neck!.

At this point I started feeling so stressed out on the verge of just exploding and breaking down. I just took the item from the shelf and turned away from him and rolled my eyes. Maybe this sounds a little unprofessional but in that moment, I just thought to myself that this is meant to be such a straightforward job of putting stuff away and I am being taught to suck eggs. This doesn't feel about some super important rule that is vital to the company but more about them being pedantic and obsessive about stock shelves like they are displays in a shop. Between their over the top deliveries and expecting all the items to go away, while maintaining a neat single line which takes up less than half of shelf space is honestly like getting their workers to try and squash water.

This bit really got to me because I am not sure if it was my silence or if he caught me but all night then he starts following me around talking to me like a kid, loud enough so other people could hear that I was getting stressed. He was essentially talking to me like I was sulking and telling me to stop taking it personally. The thing is though it wasn't what he said that bothers me. I am new so I totally get that I am gonna make mistakes and I am open to criticism and growing from it. However, he made it feel like he was essentially out to aggravate me, I think he knew his presence was getting to me and rather than backing off he kept pressing and prodding me. It is on record that I have PTSD so they should know that telling someone to 'man up' or 'not be so sensitive' isn't good if that persons', sensitivity to stress is down to mental illness. It certainly isn't respectful to essentially put a mentally ill person in the stocks if they struggle with their job.

Had he been more tactful he could have turned it into such a positive and empowered me to be a better worker. Instead I feel like he has damaged my confidence in my ability to do this job effectively and be recognised as a good person who wants to work hard. I am not surprised as all my colleagues seem utterly broken and miserable, I get the feeling this company doesn't respect their amazing, patient work base. I am so close to quitting, the only thing that is keeping me going is getting my partners' ticket so she can come here. I think I may well quit when I get her ticket and get another job. No job is worth such a drain on mental and emotional wellbeing :(

Sorry just to also add separately as I know that was pretty long: our systems went down last night also which means we couldn't physically do anything and the delivery was late so we looked likely to be sent home. Said guy comes in and starts ordering everyone to essentially do stupid things to pass the time, which okay fair enough I didn't mind but then I find out from another worker that they often would rota people in on their day off behind their back and force them to drop a day off despite it being the fault of the company and not the workers.

I did take a screenshot of my rota immediately as back up but all round my impressions have dipped so much now. It is so sad for me because I thought this was going to be such a positive fulfilling experience but it is rapidly becoming soul destroying :(
 
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Ouch. I hear you and it all sucks. I don't understand why there has to be so many idiots around that just like to make new workers feel like crap for trying to do their jobs. Try to hang in and not let his arrogant ways get to you. I wouldn't hold up as well as you are so pat yoursewalf on the back and keep remembering the girl that you want to see so badly. It will make the job easier.
Mindy
 
Thank you so much @mindys1550 that means so much to me. That is all I really want to do is just get on and do my job. I will try to stick at it. Hopefully it will get easier :)
 
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